I don't have a place to put the sadness

[Mirah]

It lays on the floor in a pile of tissues
snot stained
tear stained
but when everything is dried up
I just stare at the window
or the computer screen
hoping the time will pass
will it be tomorrow
or the next day
how will I get through the day?
will I talk about it? Ignore it?
It isn't my grief I am holding
but it is
a family member
her grief
the sorrow
the pain
that has never gone away from last year
he passed away on his birthday
like Shakespeare

 

[Mirah]

 

[Mirah]

I haven't heard the word Cattle Call for a while
This is actually fitting
the stage
totally relates

 

[Mirah]

The one who is least connected
is talking about connection
posting about it
writing about it
blogging about it
its thier job
they write the posts
blog the blogs
mentions the importance of relationship
yet
they are alone
wierd

 

[Mirah]

I can go a week without seeing another human

Is it worse to be in that place
or
the place where there are many humans, but none are really chatting with you
wtf
thats wierd too
and then
the
words
"You must be intentional about being with people"
yeah
intentional
that word
things don't just happen by accident anymore
its all planned
then blogged and logged and posted
Don't forget the tik tok
and go live
if you want to talk to your followers
followers
foolower
ower
fall
oh
oh
were

 

[jack]

Lots of introspection in this thread.

 

[Mirah]

and just like that
the sadness has passed
and is placed in a box
or in the heart
or somewhere, but not sure where
now there are flowers and sunshine and spring
winter has passed
is winter associated with sadness? Spring and summer with happiness?

 

[Mirah]

I guess if you have seasonal affective disorder then the long dark cold winters can be difficult.

 

[jack]

Spring here is associated with mud with dogshit mixed in from no one picking up after their dogs all winter.

 

[Mirah]

Gross.

 

[jack]

Now its in the 40's. Glad i'll be headed south (SC) for Easter

 

[jack]

It's a freaking sea of mud out there these days. Great places to put the sadness.

 

[Love Child]

Hmm

 

[Love Child]

I have a place to put the sadness today

This is def the mood of the day-I mean possibly the jazz is almost too happy sounding, ITs ALL TOO HAPPY Sounding, but it is mellow. Wierd. I was just looking for background noise/chatter.

 

[jack]

 

[Love Child]

The trauma lives in my head

 

[Love Child]

A new character us born
One that is not LC, nor Mirah, nor ILC
What shall her name be?
Is it just Trauma?
Survivor
Peaches
Darkness
Light
Norma
Norma Jean

The birds chirp in the background
Music plays next to me
I am frozen
I move my fingers and my toes
Too weak to fight
Anymore
I breathe in a quick breath
And let out a long one
Breath in again
Listen to the music
Nothing can numb
Must face
Place everything in a box
Keep it there
How did it get out?

 

[Love Child]

What will her new name be?

 

[Love Child]

Ignore

 

[Love Child]

I thought I was okay for a minute
This will be a very long weekend