It will never be January 13th 2024

[CaptainWacky]

Cliff Richard is still alive.

Will he be on January 13th 2024? We won't know; it will never be January 13th 2024.

Maybe Cliff Richard should be relieved about this.

ONCE IN EVERY LIFETIME
COMES A CLIFF LIKE THIS
OH I NEED CLIFF, YOU NEED CLIFF, OH MY CLIFF CAN'T YOU SEE
THE CLIFF ONES, DARLING WE'RE THE CLIFF ONES
THE CLIFF ONES
SHOULDN'T BE AFRAID
OF JANUARY 13TH 2024

hey i remmebered to do this thread maybe everyone who doesn't post here anymore will remember that they can access the board through the internet these two things seem equally likely just like the chances of JFK spontaneously reforming in dallas and being like "where's my wife I'm the president" and then someone has to tell him Doctor Who started the same day he exploded so he travels to Wales to give RTD a piece of his mind and RTD says "giving a piece of your mind is what got you into trouble in the first place!" which doesn't really make sense but JFK laughs anyway and says "by the way I saw who blew my head off it was..AAAAAAAH" as he has a heart attack and dies because the big CIA put a chip in his heart to blow it up if he ever came back to life so that he couldn't reveal that he was actually killed by Cliff Richard who saw a future where JFK lived and Cliff somehow never became the beloved pop juggernaut he is today and so he fucking blew JFK's head off and gave Lee Harvey Oswald a blowjob to convince him into taking the blame then gave Jack Ruby a blowjob to convince him to kill Oswald in case Oswald ever revealed the blowjob and how did he know Ruby wouldn't reveal the blowjob well only Cliff knows the answer to that the important thing is that the integrity of the timeline has been maintained but even Cliff can't avoid the fact that it will never be January 13th 2024

I watched Iron Man 3 ages ago and still haven't been bothered to write the post for it

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

I had 7 vacation days left to use up before the New Year, so I scheduled them spread out between now and Christmas.

GOOD THING I THOUGHT AHEAD, AFTER JANUARY 13TH THEY'LL BE NULL AND VOID

 

[StarMan™]

So, some dude randomly askes me today: what's happening on Jan 14th, 2024?

I dunno mate - what's the weather like on Alderaan in 1BBY?

THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

 

[CaptainWacky]

ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID, ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID, RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD, RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD, ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID

 

[CaptainWacky]

this needs at least one more reply before it drops off the front page this is that reply no need to reply to it

 

[StarMan™]

Wait, are we just changing the calendar?

January 12th, 2024
Natalie 1st, 0001

 

[Mentalist]

Impossible. David Copperfield is scheduled to make THE MOON DISAPPEAR in FEBRUARY and he wouldn't lie to us.

 

[CaptainWacky]

 

[CaptainWacky]

Belinda Crisp is a fucking excellent name.

Cliff Richard is still alive.

The Mine Field Year has officially begun, time to hassle all the old posters into coming back!

Except that's impossible as nobody looks at Twitter anymore thanks to Elrond Hubbard or whatever his fucking name is.

Great.

lol

The Mine Field's death will not be felt or acknowledged by anyone, it will simply no longer exist; the very context which once allowed it to exist will no longer remain.

I'm obsessed with female celebrities in a way not even I understand? If I was just posting "PHWOAR, I WANT TO SHAG HER, MATE!" that would actually be less crazy?

Maybe I want to build a machine that merges them all into one entity then put MYSELF and that entity into the machine and I become the beautiful immortal Queen of Earth.

Or maybe I want to shag them all, phwoar.

I don't know.

 

[Cassie]

ANOTHER MINE FIELD MIRACLE.

 

[StarMan™]

My computer is lying to me.

 

[Parallaxis]

So.... I guess... something happened.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Wacky never specified which universe.

 

[StarMan™]

If there are indeed an infinite number of parallel universes ... what if every time we suggest something, no matter how nightmarish / mind-bogglingly ridiculous, it happens - just in another Universe?

Someone says in reality #434kjhsfkjsd43-C they expect a virus to emerge in 2019, debilitate the world for a few years and kill millions. Their universe is fine, but we get smacked with COVID.

Wacky suggests there will never be a January 13th, 2024: in some corner of the multiverse, an entire reality collapsed today, with quadrillions of sentient lifeforms extinguished in Universal Armageddon.

Even worse: in some reality, The Minefield really did close forever.

We're all Batman in some Universe, right?

I am sleepy and it is unbearably hot here.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Every time you go to sleep at night you die in your sleep. It is not in fact possible to wake up from sleep. Another you is birthded, in an another near identical universe, where you "awaken" in the morning. Can you tell the difference? Do you feel in your chest a longing for home? Why does red look different now? It did not look like that before. It was more red. It's not right here. Nothing is right here. I will die in eight hours.

Forever reborn until you are as old as the universe itself, and then it loops back around and you leave your mortal body, watching yourself from the stars; each star a soul peering through the darkness. And maybe this time you can change things, you think. Maybe this time it will be January 13th 2024.

There are not enough stars in the sky to fit us all. Eventually those who die remain dead. And you wish, you pray, that you could be one of those.

My toes are sore.