Latest Hysterical Facebook Status Updates

[Gagh]

I have loads and loads of people I used to know from school on my main Faceook account. Thankfully I haven't met some of them since I left school to go to college 17 years ago. Here's what somebody just posted

Police are going around to all pubs and clubs
saying we cant wear our england tops for the footie and we have to
take our england flags down as it is offending ppl that aren't from england
!! Now im NOT RACIST....BUT this is taking the piss!! THIS IS ENGLAND
& we need to make a stand!!! Would u remove ur traditional dress
if it offended me? We need to stick together repost this as ur status
and make ur stand

Reply

its alrite to where turbans and not football shirts in the pub how flipin mentle whats the country comming too ???

YEAH TOO FUCKING RITE INIT, CUZ A FOOTY SHIRT IZ EXACTLY DA SAME AS A FUCKIN TURBINE INNIT MOOSH. IF I SEES ONE OF DEM FUCKIN DARKIES IN MY PUB AND I CAN'T WEAR MY FUCKIN FOOTY SHIRT I'LL CUT THE CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCUNTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

 

[whisky]

I often tell women their dresses offend me, but they rarely remove them.

 

[Gagh]

Yeah, but imagine if you had an ENGLAND SHIRT and you were asked to remove it. IT WOULD BE A FUCKING OUTRAGE THIS IS FUCKING ENGLAND AND WE'RE FUCKING ENGLISH votefornickgriffin IT'S NOT FUCKING avoteforbnpisavoteforsense ON IS IT MATE?

 

[Dr Dave]

It is rather dumb to ask them to remove their england shirt.

Who on earth would actually get offended by that?

 

[Fuddlemiff]

It's probably come from one of those retarded hoax campaign groups that are always popping up, like the one that claims Facebook will start charging in 10 days time "unless this group gets to 1 million!" or something. It really saddens and disappoints me when I see friends join those things. It's like watching a crowd of idiots try to pick up a penny that's superglued to the ground.

 

[Ishcabittle]

Facebook has been taking a beating lately - the privacy stuff, the zuckerman IM transcripts where he effectively admits to being a douche, people getting deleted from the site for openly voicing their concerns regarding zuckerman, and now this, the footie incident.

 

[Dr Dave]

Is it time to press the reset button on the internet yet?

 

[Dr Dave]

Facebook has been taking a beating lately - the privacy stuff, the zuckerman IM transcripts where he effectively admits to being a douche, people getting deleted from the site for openly voicing their concerns regarding zuckerman, and now this, the footie incident.

Explain these IM transcripts of which you speak.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

It's from when he first created it back in uni. He was expressing his astonishment that hundreds of people were uploading their private info and photos to his site and said something like they were "fucking idiots" for trusting him.

THIS is the ARTICLE responsible for the BOGUS furore on FACEBOOK courtesy of THE SUN.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2918868/Bid-to-ban-England-tops-in-World-Cup-pubs.html

 

[Love Child]

Sometimes my own clothing offends me and I quickly remove it.

 

[The Tomtrek]

I see.

 

[CaptainWacky]

What if you had both a turban and an England shirt on. WHICH WOULD THE COPS PULL OFF FIRST?

 

[Donovan]

I once wrapped an English shirt into a turban and put it on. I offended myself so much I tried to rip it off my own head but instead wound up kicking my own ass.

And I'm not even English.

 

[Dirk Funk]

It is rather dumb to ask them to remove their england shirt.

Who on earth would actually get offended by that?

Apparently idiots.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

NOBODY. NOBODY WAS OFFENDED. NOBODY ANTICIPATED OFFENSE. NOBODY ANTICIPATED THE ANTICIPATION OF OFFENSE. NO OFFENSE WAS CAUSED, PREDICTED, PRE-EMPTED OR DISCOVERED THEREAFTER. AND THERE WERE NO TURBANS.

 

[whisky]

Well you have to remember this is the same country that has a confirmed member of Al Quada here who was planning to blow people up, but we cant send him back to his own country because he might get tortured there.

 

[Dr Dave]

NOBODY. NOBODY WAS OFFENDED. NOBODY ANTICIPATED OFFENSE. NOBODY ANTICIPATED THE ANTICIPATION OF OFFENSE. NO OFFENSE WAS CAUSED, PREDICTED, PRE-EMPTED OR DISCOVERED THEREAFTER. AND THERE WERE NO TURBANS.

Ah ok then.

Carry on.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

It's ironic that the suggestion by the police was in an effort to tackle rowdy England fans who pick fights, and those very same people are the ones now frothing at the mouth about an imaginary slight from immigrants, who they've managed to shift the blame onto.

 

[headvoid]

I use this kind of thing in my job.

Creating crap that people react to.

I suck satans cock in my spare time.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I heard that the BBC are being forced to offer a MUSLIM ALTERNATIVE on BBC4 everytime they show football!!!!