Orgasm Horror Stories

Loktar

Pinata Whacker
I always sorta wonder how completely to pieces their lives go when they get old and that male pattern baldness sets in. Can't really pancake-makeup-over that...
That's what stylish sexy fuck me wigs are for. You can pancake makeup over everything else. It covers my cut on the bridge of my nose quite nicely.
 
Wigs are pretty easy to spot, though, and a pretty much instant giveaway that you're dealing with a Klinger instead of the genuine article.
 
The sad truth of human evolution is that we have so distanced ourselves from our primal state that there are no longer natural forces "selecting out" feminine males. Or put another way, men are turning into Shelly Duvall because they don't have to be John Wayne to survive anymore. lol
 

jack

The Legendary Troll Kingdom
Thirst Traps:



It’s time to congratulate the internet: Instagram’s sneakiest phenomenon now has a name. Thirst Traps. Whether you set yours to engage in innocent banter with followers you would (hypothetically) like to “Netflix and Chill” with, or whether you carefully construct them genuinely hoping to act out your subconscious desires, it’s safe to say this Instagram trend is causing a lot of controversy.
But before we get all Freudian, what are “thirst traps”? Essentially, “thirst trapping” is the logical evolution of “gatsbying,” a trend which consists of posting a public Instagram story with the intent of arousing the interest of one person in particular. Or, as Urban Dictionary defines it: “a sexy photograph or flirty message posted on social media for the intent of causing others to profess their attraction.”
Thirst Traps can take many forms. Unless you are particularly brazen, if you are in a relationship, it is more likely that you are stuck in someone else’s thirst trap than you are setting your own. How does this work? Basically, you follow a bunch of people. For most of us, a handful (give or take) of these people you will either have slept with, flirted with, or want to sleep with.
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These are your thirst traps. Identifiable by their prominence in your direct messages, the fact that their insta-stories are always at the front of your queue, and the fact that they are the ones who you always check have watched your stories or liked your photos.
The thirst trap is set when these ‘crushes’ post a suggestive photo or video, and wait for you to engage with it. If you respond consistently over a given period of time, you are considered “caught” in their trap. While this is an excellent way for (single) socially awkward people to flirt, without embarrassing themselves (in real life), the problem arises when single people’s “thirst traps” start attracting those in relationships.
 

Loktar

Pinata Whacker
Even if these women are truly orgasm horrors, they still look hotter than this girl I went on 3 dates with and wants me to have a baby with her.
 

jack

The Legendary Troll Kingdom
Oh shit I posted this in the Pic of the day thread by accident. It belongs here, with the rest of the guys. Sorry, may bad!

 
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