The Tisiphone Adventures:Christmas doom special

[Dr Dave]

Episode 1- Ho Ho Ho Chinaman

Tisiphone had moved into her new house in Portland Maine, her new house was A LIGHT HOUSE.

"Ugh... an invitation to the company Christmas party." thought Tisiphone as she read an invitation to her captioning companies Christmas party.

The Phone rang.

"This is Tisiphone, holder of the sacred bottle of tequila..." Said Tisiphone as she was then interrupted by the caller.

"Ho Ho Ho, This is The Chinaman!" said The Chinaman

"Fuck off Chinaman" said Tisiphone

"Oh, I'll do better then that Tisiphone, Ho ho ho, I'm going to ruin Christmas!" said The Chinaman.

He hung up.

"That son of a tuna fish canner...It's on. I better brush my teeth." Said Tisiphone

Tisiphone opened the bathroom door and there was Doctor Dave.

"Hi Dave" said Tisiphone

"Hi Tisiphone, nice new bathroom" said Doctor Dave

"Thanks, say how do you always end up in here?" asked Tisiphone

"Magic!" replied Doctor Dave

"Oh, well The Chinaman is planning on ruining Christmas, so I need to brush my teeth" said Tisiphone

To be continued...

 

[Cassie]

AND SO IT BEGINS.

 

[CaptainWacky]

It makes perfect logical sense so far.

 

[Yub]

Does the magic Dave uses to appear in Tisi's bathroom require a full moon, a pentagram and the blood of a virgin?

 

[Loktar]

and the blood of a virgin?

Why do think I was tied to a park bench?

This blood loss is making me woozy....zzzzzzzzzzzz....

 

[Dr Dave]

Episode 2-Wacky news

"You're watching The Scottish News Network" said the announcer on a tv in a bar.

The newscaster appeared on the screen, the graphic under his name identified him as Captain Wacky.

"And on to local news. The man only identified as Loktar is still tied to the park bench in lower middle Stirling is still there..." Said CaptainWacky

Video is shown of people tossing bread and old haggis at the poor man.

"Viewers are reminded that the man is the property of the Stirling Tourism Commission, and that they are not to spray paint names or various American slogans on him... We have breaking news at this hour, let's go to senior field correspondent Tomtrek." Said CaptainWacky

"Wacky, we have terrible news at this hour, Santa Claus has been kidnapped. We have excusive video to SNN that came in moments ago, let's go to that." said Tomtrek

Video is shown of Santa tied to a chair, with a chinese man standing behind him.

"This is The Chinaman, I have kidnapped Santa Clause and am holding him for ransom. I want 50 billion dollars, and Tisiphone to be my slave wife. If my conditions are not met, I will kill him using ancient Chinese secrets. You have two days to contact me on this matter, OR I CUT OFF HIS Ornaments!" said The Chinaman.

The video ends.

"My god, Tomtrek, we must meet up with Tisiphone! Meet me in Portland, Maine." Said CaptainWacky

"I'm on my way!" replied Tomtrek.

CaptainWacky is seen getting up from the news desk and just walking off.

"Hey, we're in a middle of a news cast here...You can't leave, COME BACK!" shouted the director.

"I'll step in and do this news cast, THEN I'll CHIB CUNT" said a man.

"Who are you?" replied the director.

"Seph, I just got back from another story. Now roll the next story, or I'll stab your vagina!" said Seph.

"I'm a man" said the Director

"Not for long..." replied Seph

To be continued...

 

[CaptainWacky]

I'll try to tie into that in the Seph story when I go back to writing it (I WILL SOMEDAY.)

 

[Tisiphone]

The Chinaman wants me as his slave wife??!! I never saw that coming.

 

[Yub]

Further proof that I am the Chinaman, albeit in some kind of disguise.

 

[Dr Dave]

Episode 3- "Gunna fuck you up with ancient Chinese secrets"

Once again the MF crew had got together to fight evil and drink and hear Tisiphone having sex.

"We need to deal with this mother fucking Chinaman once and for all" said Tisiphone

"BIGTIME!" said CaptainWacky

"How are we going to deal with him... do we even know where he is" asked Tomtrek

"Well he's either at the North Pole or at his secret head quarters in Oslo, Norway" said Doctor Dave

"How do you know where his secret head quarters is?" asked Tisiphone

"That's where his newsletter comes from" replied Doctor Dave

"Oh god does he send that to you too" asked Tomtrek

"Yeah" replied Doctor Dave

"Well we need to visit both places, first stop THE NORTH POLE" stated CaptainWacky.

...

Meanwhile...

"Gunna fuck you up with ancient Chinese secrets.." said No Long Dong to Santa Claus.

"Please, please let me go..." replied Santa Claus

"NEVER!" shouted The Chinaman

To be continued...

 

[Tisiphone]

Worth the wait!

 

[CaptainWacky]

FINALLY

 

[Dr Dave]

Episode 4: Sunglasses at night.

"Well I'm ready to leave!" said Tisiphone

"We can't leave yet!" said Love Child who suddenly walked through the open front door

"Love Child!" everyone shouted

"Norm!" shouted special guest star headvoid

"Happy Birthday Tisiphone" shouted Love Child and the rest of the MF gang

"Aww guys... now we have to get wasted, I have to have hot lesbian sex, Doctor Dave has to appear in my bathroom..." Said Tisiphone

Several hours later.

"God you're good" said Tisiphone

The door to Tisiphones bathroom opend

"Hi!" said Doctor Dave

"Doctor Dave!" exclaimed both Tisiphone and Love Child

"Time to get going, it's night so bring your sunglasses!" said Doctor Dave as he walked out of the room to get another gin & tonic.

To be continued...

 

[Tisiphone]

Birthday sex FTW

 

[Dr Dave]

Episode 5- The Great White North

"We need to get a move on" said Tisiphone as the gang gathered in her bedroom.

"Yeah, that damned Chinaman is going to ruin christmas, more then liberals in a public building" said headvoid

"Headvoid!" the MFers shouted

"Yeah, i opended your window and desided to come for a visit. Nice lesbian sex there TIsiphone, I heard it all the way down the street" said Headvoid

"We really need to un hook the micraphone on my laptop to the towns disaster warning speakers" said Tisphone.

"We're gunna need transpertation" said Tomtrek

"I got that covered" said headvoid.

The MFers walked out to see John Madden's Bus parked outside.

"I recognise that bus" said Tisiphone

"Yeah, I um... borrowed it from John." said Headvoid

"Lets get going, but first let me pack plenty of grits!" said Cassie

"AND MY AXE" said CaptainWacky

"To CANADA!" shouted Doctor Dave

Several hours and several bottles of tequila later...

"We're at the border" said Cassie who was driving the bus after headvoid fell out the drivers side window.

"Hello there eh" said a Canadian Mountie.

"Hi" said the MF.

"Anything to declare there eh?" said the Canadian Mountie

"Just that we're awesome and off to kill a Chinaman" said headvoid, limping back to the bus

"Well ok there eh, welcome to canada eh" said the Canadian Mountie.

The crew drove into candada

"I NEED TACO'S AND SEX" shouted Love Child

"That's our Love Child!" said Doctor Dave

The bus stopped as Tisiphone and Love Child stayed in the bus and had sex, then came to join the rest of the MF crew in the fine meal that is known as Tacos.

As the MF crew was walked out, they saw a young man who was getting sausages tossed at him.

"Hey. that looks like Sausageman!" said Tomtrek

"Hi Sausageman!" said Cassie

"Oh hey guys, I was just getting sausages tossed at me, before going to do protesting. What are you doing here in Canada?" said Sausageman.

"We're going to the North Pole to kill a Chinaman" said Doctor Dave

"Oh..., wait... what" stammered Sausageman

The MF crew was already driving off.

"We need to meet up with our contact, curiousa2z." said Cassie

"I knew she was not a spy. See what had happened was The Chinaman had cloned her and made Darkcuriousa2z, a evil and less then competent verson of curiousa2z." said Doctor Dave.

"TO THE curious RANCH!" shouted CaptainWacky

To be continued...

 

[Tisiphone]

LoL...I must be exhausted from all this sex.

 

[Dr Dave]

Episode 6- Bar sex (yeah you know what is going).

The MF BUS OF AWESOMENESS (formerly John Madden's travel bus) arrived in CANADIAN TOWN 22, the home town of curiousa2z.

"Does anybody actually know where she lives?" asked Tisiphone.

Nobody seemed to know.

"Lets ask that tourism office over there" suggested Cassie.

"I'm gunna go check that bar out, we may need to drink more..." said Tisiphone

Tisiphone went into the bar, it was pretty much empty as there was a curling event going on.

"I'll take 12 shots of tequila" said Tisiphone to the bartender

"Want to have sex first eh?" asked the Bartender.

Tisiphone and the bartender had mad bar top sex.

...

At the tourism office the MF crew started looking at maps and such.

"Exceuse me, sir, do you know where curiousa2z lives?" asked Cassie

"eh" replied the Canaidan

"Do you know where curiousa2z lives?" asked Cassie again

"eh" replied the Canadian

"What is the problem..." asked Cassie as she turned to Dr.Dave

"Let me handle this, I have known two Canadians." replied Doctor Dave

Doctor Dave came up to the counter and said "excuse me eh, do you know where curiousa2z lives, eh?"

"Ah yes eh, she live up queens tea lane. But right now she's at the curling event. She should be back there in a couple of hours eh" replied the Canadian guy.

"Thanks eh." replied Doctor Dave, turning to Cassie he said "We got a couple hours to kill, unless we want to see a curling event".

"No, we're americans, so I think not" replied Cassie.

"We better go check on Tisiphone" said CaptainWacky

To be Continued...

 

[CaptainWacky]

What was SAUSAGEMAN protesting?

 

[Henoch]

^^^Dr. Daves ability to tell a coherent story without the Henoch character??

 

[Loktar]

^^^Dr. Daves ability to tell a coherent story without the Henoch character??

I see you tied to a park bench in a future storyline.