The Trouble With Star Wars...

[Volpone]

...is that they've got their heroes backwards. When you think about it, was Jabba really such a bad guy?

He only wanted money that was owed him. He supports local business and employs a lot of people that others might not give a chance. He knows how to throw a good party and likes to be surrounded by beautiful women. Finally, every shipment he smuggles takes tax dollars out of the Emperor's pocket that otherwise would have went to building Death Stars.

In revolutionary times, he'd have been looked at like John Hancock or Sam Adams or somesuch.

 

[The Question]

Little known fact, he also had a pretty good career as a stand-up (oh, the irony!) comic, billing himself as Jabba the Hoott.

 

[Volpone]

And the Republic wasn't so great. You know what was legal when they were in power? Slavery. So Anakin comes up with a plan to win a race so he can buy his mother and himself out of slavery. But instead they use part of the money to fix up the Princess' ship. So once the day is saved, they of course send someone back to buy his mother out of slavery. Nah, just kidding. They literally leave her to die. Obi Wan beats Anakin but instead of mercifully killing him, he leave him to die a horrible, agonizing death--oh, and steals his lightsaber. Coming back to Jabba, rather than just showing up with a pile of cash to pay off Solo's debt, they do this elaborate scheme to trick and kill Jabba. Eventually the rebels beat the Empire and what do they bring back? Slavery. The rebels are so shitty that 35-40 years after beating the Emperor people not only bring back the Empire, you can literally fit the entire rebellion on a smallish freighter.

 

[Volpone]

And the Empire is pretty good, actually. Outlaws slavery. Brings peace and order and fair shipping routes. They even built a Peace Sphere to help protect civilization. Then the dirty rebels stole the plans and blew up the Peace Sphere. So they had to find a planet to build a new Peace Sphere around. They tolerated the backwards violent teddy bear inhabitants, peacefully coexisting until the dirty, dirty rebels came along and screwed it all up.

 

[The Question]

Ehhhh, kinda where the theory falls apart, though. Although, Lucas would have done himself some favors if he had had them call their capital ships and superweapons hippie shit like that.