thing of the day (thing+756)

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
h

no

no
noNO

disappearing

eery day something else goes

and you can't remember it

because it's gone

something enters my head

it goes right away

memory like a goldfist

or so they say

i bet goldfish are happy

they don't care

but i used to bemore

didn't i

i used to be better

i think

i wish ic ould return to when iwa s at my best

if i ever was


i don't know hot o to describe it

how do you describes part of your falling away

swiss cheese brain

that was in quantam leap

so you can't use that

what do you sue

i don't kw

i just want to say something before i go

i'm not saying i'm going to die

but

dementia's probably worse isn't it

i think it's coming

i think i was pushed too far

and the little threads snapped

threads of...brain

i don't know

it's been gradual

so gradual i didn't notice until i had to talk again

to another person i mean

and i listened tomy own voices

my own words

and they werne't my voice or words

and iw as confused

something had changed

something ws gone

too long

to many years

feel short at the time

but that's because nothign happens

wearing me away

taking and taking

until

this

just a couple of words at a time

that's it

can pay attention for about ten seconds

then i go

i've died so many times

thousands of times a day

a new me forms

thinks

tries

pops out of existence

and the next one takes over and tries to remember

but it's not the same one

and i fool myself into thinking that when iw asyoung before i broke i was only one person

but i probably wasn't was i

it was probably all this

maybe it ook the bubble longer to burst

maybe they were bigger

contained more of me

realer bubbles

more solid

closer to the world

thse bubbles are buried away

layers of protection

from years of worry

and fear

can't get out

it's me

the structure of my brain

i shapepd it

i have to live in it

for now

until it burts for the last time

i can't remember things

but it feels normal

you just feel normal as you go

as you fade

until there' sjust confusion

and the bfg


i don't know what iw as goint g to say ther eyou see

that's the point

kjkkkk

forgetting

can't learn new things

all the young people things

i'm not young so why should i

but i want to be young again and new

new things all the time

the best things

not the boring repetitive things

what aam i sometups
d
what am i supposed to be doing

brain is melted cheese

swim around in it

it's too hot

it's fucking burning me away

oh well

just sleep

or can id o that

i can't remebmer if i sleep or not

it's hard to tell

my brain is so empty

but the dreams

oh yes

they feel more real now

than the waking

that's not original

i know

sory

i'mverysall

i just wanted to say

while i'm still here

that.

shit

i can't remember
 
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