thing of the day (thing+773)

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
(Kermit is hiding under his bed. The other Muppet Babies are strapped down. Nanny's boyfriend approaches Rowlf with a chainsaw in hand. Kermit speaks over the scene in voiceover.)

Kermit(voiceover): I should do something. I know I should. But...what could I, one little frog do against an adult man with a chainshaw? Surely he isn't going to hurt us. He wanted us here, for some reason. He wouldn't kill us. Surely not.

Nanny's Boyfriend: You're probably wondering why I strapped you up in here, aren't you, Rowlf?

Rowlf: I just want to get out of here, man. I won't ask no questions. Just let me go. Let me play the piano again.

Nanny's Boyfriend: I'm afraid your piano playing days are over, little dog. My name is RECTOR. I am the bringer of your deaht.

Rowlf(howling like a dog): No, NOOOOOOOO.

Kermit(voiceover): This is it. This is the moment. He's really going to do it. Rector is really gong to kill Rowlf. I have to do something, NOW. I can't just hope that this is a dream. What if it's real. It feels real. My fear...feels real. I...I can't move. I'm paralysed with fear. I can't help Rowlf. I can't help any of them.

(Tight angle on Kermit's face is Rowlf begins screaming in pain. Tears start to form in Kermit's eyes.)

Rowlf: Why...why won't I die...noooooo...

Rector: It's because of what you are, Muppet Baby. You're made out of felt, you fuck. Stupid little baby! You can't die the way a normal person would. It takes a lot more. But you can feel pain. You can feel your entrails leaking out onto the floor.

Scooter: Leave him alone! Just...just stop! You're mean!

Skeeter: Urgh. But yeah, fucking stop this, Rector, you monster! Rowlf's cool. Hurt me if you have to hurt somone. Or my brother.

Recotr: Oh, I'm going to kill you all. But slowly. So slowly that anyone watching while be begging me to kill them instead, so painful while your cries of terror sound to their ears.

Kermit(voiceover): He knows. He knows I'm under here. But he's still got a chainsaw, and I have nothing. What can I do? I'm the leader of the muppet babies, but our adventures aren't usually like this. Okay we were zombies once, but that was just a dream. A dream. This is a dream. This is a dream. THIS IS A DREAM.

Piggy: Why wre you making us dream crazy dreams!

Rector: I really am a scentist, you know. Of a sort. HAHAHAHA. I seduced Nanny so that I could capture your babies. So that I could study you, run tests on you as you dream. Test the limits of your imagination.

Gonzo: Nanny, is she...okay?

Rector: She didn't hold out agains the chainsaw as long as little Rowlf here did. I made sure she knew I felt nothing for her as she died. She was a means to an end. And now it is your turn...to end!

Fozzy: Wow, that was lame. You need to work on your material. Woka woka!

(Rector turns his chainsaw on Fozzy. We cut to a close-up of Kermit's face again as we hear the sickening cries of pain fro Fozzy. Blood splatters on the floor near Kermit.

Kermit(voiceover): How can this be a dream when it feels like the most real life has ever felt.

Rector: WOKA WOKA, DEATHA DEATHA!

Honeydew: You claims you have us here to study us and our dreams. Well, why kill us? Why not keep us alive for furthe study?

Rector: I've already learned what I need to know. I've learend so much from you little shits. The key to eternal life itself. But it's only for me. Only I will live forever, in the dream of a muppet. You? You must die. HAHAHAHA.

Beaker: MEEP! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

Honeydew: No! I loved him!

Rector: You're next, nerd.

Kermit(voiceover): It will be over soon and I will wake up. All my friends will be fine. Do I even believe these words?

(There are more screams as various muppets are slaughtered. This goes on for several minutes. Kermit waits after the screams stop.)

Piggy: Is that all you've got, bitch?

Rector: Oh, Piggy. You were always my favourite. I'll hurt you the most.

Piggy: I won't give you the satisfacton of cry. Of...screaming...oww...oww..OH GOD IT HURTS...STOP...PLEASE...

Rector: HAHAHAHAHA...AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Kermit takes a step forward.)

Piggy: Kermit! Please! Just let me see your face! Let me die...looking at you...

Kermit(voiceover): I can't. I can't reveal myself. I'm too scared. I'm a coward. I let them all die, even Piggy. I don't deserve to live.

Rector: You can come out now, frog. I know you're there.

(Kermit steps out from under the bed.)

Kermit(voiceover): It feels like a dream now. I just want to sleep. A dreamless sleep. Forever sleep.

Rector: And stop speaking in voiceover. I can hear every word.

Kermit: How...how is that...

Rector: I am your God, frog. I am soon to be the god of all dreams, of life and death itself. All thanks to the muppet babies.

Kermit: Just kill me. I can't listen to you any more.

Rector: I bathed in Nanny's blood.

Kermit: END THIS.

Rector: Hahaha. Go to your happy place, frog. This is going to hurt. A lot.

Kermit(singing to himself): Why are there so many songs about rainsbows, and what's on the other side. Rainbows are visions, but only illusions...

Rector: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ARGH!

(Rector charges at Kermit with his chainsaw.)

Kermit: Only...illusions...

(Honedew's inception machine appears in Kermit's hands. He's so surprised he almost drops it. He frantically presses the button just as Rector swings the chainsaw down at him. Darkness.)

Piggy: Kermit? Wake up!

(Kermit opens his eyes. He's on a paradise island with the rest of the muppet babies. They're all alive and perfectly healthy.)

Piggy: Did you fall asleep, Kermie?

(Kermit violently throws up.)

TO BE MUPPETINUED
 
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