thing of the day (thing+776)

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
(Kermit and Rector are in a land of clouds.)

"You're not God, Rector," said Kermit to Rector, who had just revealed that he is apparently God. "This is another layer of dreaming. And I'm sick of it. I just watched Robin die. Hell, i just hit Robin, and that was even worse. I'm through with this. It's over."

"You're right about that," said Rector, with a smug smile. "It is over. You're finally dead, Kermit. It took a while for your brain to give up, but now you're really here."

"If I'm dead, then I was dead when this all began," said Kermit, not believing a word of it yet. "This is no more real than you chopping the others up with a chainsaw."

"That was an amusing one, I'll admit!" said Rector. "I wonder why your mind conjured that particular image up. It left you quite disturbed, did it not."

"It was sick and wrong," said Kermit. "And if that came from inside my mind somehow...maybe I'm sick and wrong too. After what I did to Robin..."

"Don't by so hard on yourself, kid," said Rector, now looking amused. "No one should hold themself responsible for what their dying mind shows them as their breath their last."

"So that's what you're claiming this is now? My mind has been dying ever since I first used Honeydew's dream machine and everything I've experienced has just happened as I pass to...this place."

"Almost, but not quite. There never was a dream machine, Kermit. That was a dream too. You were hit by a car, crossing the road with Nanny. She jumped out of the way but didn't pull you with her, the selfish cow. You were squished, Kermit, like little Robin in your dream. But even then, even a near instant death isn't quite instead. Your mind constructed an elaborate fantasy. A zombie attack, a nuclear holocaust. Part of you, the rational part, knew none of it made sense, so that part of your mind explained the dream machine as a way to explain things. But there is no explaining death, Kermit. There is no way out of it."

"It's not true," said Kermit, though in truth it was about as believable as anything else that had happened recently. "Why would I see you if we've never really met?"

"Everyone knows God, in their heart," said Rector. "You imagined me as some kind of monster, bringing death to your friends. But death is nothing to fear, little frog. You are this close to paradise. You just have to step towards me."

"Nah!" said Kermit. "I'll just stay here and wait for the dream machine to reappear. You're a good liar but I know you're holding something back. Probably the fact that this is all bullshine!"

"You're right," said Rector, after a pause. "I don't tell everyont this at first, because their minds can't fully comprehend the truth. You're a muppet baby, so I think you can know now. No, this isn't Heaven, not the way you imagine it. You did die, but you didn't enter any supernatural afterlife. This is a real place...a digital place."

"What do you mean by that?" asked Kermit, annoyed. He was thinking really hard about the dream machine but it just would not appear.

"It's a billion years after you died, Kermit. All life on Earth is long dead. Earth itself, in fact, is long gone. But your robots, they survived. They grew. They developed technology you would think of as magic. The technology to create digital afterlifes for biological beings, so they could live on outside of their fragile mortal shells. They decided to give everyone who had ever lived another chance at life. Through time travel, we pluck the dying minds out of their bodies at the moment of death and integrate them...here. Now, being a muppet baby, you have quite an imagination, so your integration was a difficult one. You imagined all kind of strange scenarios as we plugged your mind into our machines. But now you are accepting the truth. You are at peace, Kermit. You can accept your own death now. Isn't that what you want? Aren't you so very tired?"

"Yes," said Kermit, tears in his eyes. "I'm so tired..but this isn't real. It can't be. It's...another dream." Was it?

"It's real, Kermit," said Rector. "I'm not God, I'm just here to guide you. You can do whatever you want once you accept where you are. It really is paradiese, Kermit. It really is beautiful."

"No," said Kermit, unable to understand what he was feeling. He had an overwhelming feeling, something like fear, telling him this was real. But that happened in dreams sometimes, didn't it? And yet he wasn't waking up. The dream machine was not appearing. This felt different. Like the end.

"Look who's here waiting for you," said Rector. "Remember, it's a billion years in the future. They're all dead too."

Standing in the light just behind Rector were the other Muppet Babies. Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, all of them, even Robin.

"Come into the light, Kermie," said Piggy. "We can all be together forever!"

"Waka waka!" added Fozzie, neddlessly.

Kermit felt himself swaying. He looked at his hands again. Still no dream machine.

He took one step towards the light.

TO BE MUPPETINUED
 
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