CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Well the ship shook a little from the explosion.
Wacky Reviews: Star Trek
- Thread starter CaptainWacky
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Fuddlemiff
Is this real life?
The explosion would've been a lot more devastating in an enclosed space, rather than outside the ship. Would make more sense if the rubbish chutes did the opposite of replicators, though. Just turn everything back into energy.
I'm enjoying your reviews, btw, even if I'm not commenting much. Would be interesting if you did Star Trek Continues after, as you'll be a good judge of how well it works as Star Trek's fourth season. A new episode was released the other day, which concerned sexism.
I'm enjoying your reviews, btw, even if I'm not commenting much. Would be interesting if you did Star Trek Continues after, as you'll be a good judge of how well it works as Star Trek's fourth season. A new episode was released the other day, which concerned sexism.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Balance of Terror - The episode starts with Kirk about to marry two crewmembers to each other, which is lovely! Scotty walks the bridge down the aisle! But they're interrupted by news that a Federation outpost is under attack and the wedding isn't completed. Several outposts have been attacked all down the Neutral Zone that monitors the Romulan Empire. It's been a hundred years since Earth's war with the Romulans and now they seem to be back. We see a Romulan ship mercilessly destroy an outpost as the outpost commander talks to Kirk. It's pretty brutal. It also seems the Romulan ships can disappear when they're not firing their weapons. It's like they have some kind of...cloaking device.
Uhura intercepts a transmission from the Romulan ship and we get to see their Commander on screen. They have pointy ears just like Vulcans! Shocked close-ups! Crewman Stiles is already paranoid about spies on board but Kirk shuts him down fast telling him there's no room for bigotry on this ship. We then get to see things from the point of view of the Romulan Commander (Mark Lenard.) Star Trek hasn't done anything like this so far so this is pretty great! Rather than just being some scary alien we see that the Commander is a character with an actual personality and depth. He doesn't like war but he carries out his orders to test the new weapon on the Federation outposts anyway. Meanwhile the Enterprise crew debate what to do in a nice mature, serious scene. This episode doesn't feel campy or silly at all like some of Star Trek (okay I guess the Romulan helmets are a bit campy.)
The conflict between Kirk and the Romulan Commander plays out like a game of cheese, with each countering the other's moves. The Romulan Commander's friend dies. The Enterprise has to destroy the Romulan ship before it can reach the Neutral Zone, becuase if the Enterprise enters the Zone the Romulan's could uses it as an excuse to go to war. The Romulan's use the old "empty garbage chutes to fool the enemy into thinking the ship has been desroyed" trick that countless shows have done since (maybe it was done before this as well.) Kirk and McCoy have a nice scene. The Romulans shoot a nuclear weapon out with their garbage and disable the Enteprise. Stiles (who has been professional since his earlier freakout but you can still tell he doesn't trust Spock, which is a nice touch) goes to weapons control and Uhura takes over navigation! The Romulans are finally defeated and the Commander and Kirk speak to each other. "In a different reality I could have called you friend" is a useful line to use! The Romulan self destructs rather than be captured. The crewman who was going to get married dies. Giving a personality to the "redshirts" really makes their deaths feel more important than just having them die and no one care. Spock saves Stiles but insists it was just out of logic.
So yeah, this is a great episode. Kirk gets his best character work yet and Shatner gives another strong performance. It's weird that he had a reputation as a bad actor because he really wasn't. It's slightly similar to The Corbomite Maneuver but much much better as the action scenes here don't drag at all and it always seems like there's something going on rather than the crew staring at things while dramatic music plays. You can also see how much this one influenced Wrath of Khan. Easily the best episode yet, I can't really fault it.
This is Rand's final appearance, in aired order. Miri was actually filmed after this and she bizarrely had a non-speaking cameo in The Conscience of the King which I didn't even notice and was filmed after Grace Lee Whitney was already fired. I can see why they'd want rid of the Rand character as she doesn't add much here and they didn't want Kirk tied down to one woman. Of course her firing could have been nothing to do with that and really down to an executive on the show (she never said who but the internet seems to think Gene) raping her but she's dead now and we'll never really know...
SCORE: 10/10
Uhura intercepts a transmission from the Romulan ship and we get to see their Commander on screen. They have pointy ears just like Vulcans! Shocked close-ups! Crewman Stiles is already paranoid about spies on board but Kirk shuts him down fast telling him there's no room for bigotry on this ship. We then get to see things from the point of view of the Romulan Commander (Mark Lenard.) Star Trek hasn't done anything like this so far so this is pretty great! Rather than just being some scary alien we see that the Commander is a character with an actual personality and depth. He doesn't like war but he carries out his orders to test the new weapon on the Federation outposts anyway. Meanwhile the Enterprise crew debate what to do in a nice mature, serious scene. This episode doesn't feel campy or silly at all like some of Star Trek (okay I guess the Romulan helmets are a bit campy.)
The conflict between Kirk and the Romulan Commander plays out like a game of cheese, with each countering the other's moves. The Romulan Commander's friend dies. The Enterprise has to destroy the Romulan ship before it can reach the Neutral Zone, becuase if the Enterprise enters the Zone the Romulan's could uses it as an excuse to go to war. The Romulan's use the old "empty garbage chutes to fool the enemy into thinking the ship has been desroyed" trick that countless shows have done since (maybe it was done before this as well.) Kirk and McCoy have a nice scene. The Romulans shoot a nuclear weapon out with their garbage and disable the Enteprise. Stiles (who has been professional since his earlier freakout but you can still tell he doesn't trust Spock, which is a nice touch) goes to weapons control and Uhura takes over navigation! The Romulans are finally defeated and the Commander and Kirk speak to each other. "In a different reality I could have called you friend" is a useful line to use! The Romulan self destructs rather than be captured. The crewman who was going to get married dies. Giving a personality to the "redshirts" really makes their deaths feel more important than just having them die and no one care. Spock saves Stiles but insists it was just out of logic.
So yeah, this is a great episode. Kirk gets his best character work yet and Shatner gives another strong performance. It's weird that he had a reputation as a bad actor because he really wasn't. It's slightly similar to The Corbomite Maneuver but much much better as the action scenes here don't drag at all and it always seems like there's something going on rather than the crew staring at things while dramatic music plays. You can also see how much this one influenced Wrath of Khan. Easily the best episode yet, I can't really fault it.
This is Rand's final appearance, in aired order. Miri was actually filmed after this and she bizarrely had a non-speaking cameo in The Conscience of the King which I didn't even notice and was filmed after Grace Lee Whitney was already fired. I can see why they'd want rid of the Rand character as she doesn't add much here and they didn't want Kirk tied down to one woman. Of course her firing could have been nothing to do with that and really down to an executive on the show (she never said who but the internet seems to think Gene) raping her but she's dead now and we'll never really know...
SCORE: 10/10
The Tomtrek
Love Wookiee
I really, really like Conscience of the King.
Also Balance of Terror obs but still.
Also Balance of Terror obs but still.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Shore Leave - The Enterprise crew take shore leave on a lovely planet, no sooner has McCoy mentioned Alice in Wonderland than he sees the White Rabbit and Alice herself! Spock tricks Kirk into ordering himself to take shore leave in a nice scene that shows the natural chemistry between Shatner and Nimoy. I'm trying to think of things to say here because there really isn't that much plot. Basically the crew keep mentioning things and then those things appear on the planet. The best by far is Kirk remembering his old classmate Finnegan who soon appears with a ridiculously over the top Irish accent, demanding that Kirk fiht him. He's pretty great. An old lover of Kirk's appears too but she's boring. I'd rather fight Finnegan than kiss her! So it just goes on and on with werid things appearing after crewmember think of them. Somehow nobody realises that things they think of are just appearing even though it's REALLY FUCKING OBVIOUS! Eventually people start dying, McCoy first. Finally Spock says "hey, maybe your thoughts are coming to life!" Kirk fights Finnegan (on Vasquez Rock!) then he and Spock run away from a tiger. FINALLY the "caretaker" appears and reveals that everything they experienced on the planet was for amusement and McCoy appears alive with two showgirls. Kirk shags his old love for a couple of days. THE END!?
Martine who was going to get married last week returns (though she doesn't mention her dead fiancee or imagine him to life..) She runs into a tree. There's also a (rather attractive!) Yeoman named Barrows who gets a lot of screen time and seems important but we never see her again after this episode and it makes me wish the show had more recurring characters (I guess they were unusual in the sixties.) She dresses up as a princess and McCoy wants to shag her.
Ths episode feels like it's aimed at chirdren and I think I do remember liking it when I was a child. Watching it now there's just no plot. None! The crew go to a weird planet, imagine some weird stuff, Kirk laughs at the end and that's it! There's no conflict, no message (well there's "sometimes Kirk shoudl take shore leave"), no story really...AND YET I can't quite hate it because the cast are so charming and it has Finnegan in it. I also like how much new music there is: Finnegan gets a memorable Irish jig theme, there's themes for Kirk's old love, the tiger, even McCoy's showgirls. And it's kind of the first holodeck story except the holodeck doesn't actually malfunction here. So that's nice...I guess?
SCORE: 6/10
Martine who was going to get married last week returns (though she doesn't mention her dead fiancee or imagine him to life..) She runs into a tree. There's also a (rather attractive!) Yeoman named Barrows who gets a lot of screen time and seems important but we never see her again after this episode and it makes me wish the show had more recurring characters (I guess they were unusual in the sixties.) She dresses up as a princess and McCoy wants to shag her.
Ths episode feels like it's aimed at chirdren and I think I do remember liking it when I was a child. Watching it now there's just no plot. None! The crew go to a weird planet, imagine some weird stuff, Kirk laughs at the end and that's it! There's no conflict, no message (well there's "sometimes Kirk shoudl take shore leave"), no story really...AND YET I can't quite hate it because the cast are so charming and it has Finnegan in it. I also like how much new music there is: Finnegan gets a memorable Irish jig theme, there's themes for Kirk's old love, the tiger, even McCoy's showgirls. And it's kind of the first holodeck story except the holodeck doesn't actually malfunction here. So that's nice...I guess?
SCORE: 6/10
The Tomtrek
Love Wookiee
TOP TEN MCCOY MOMENT IMO
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
The Galileo Seven - The Enterprise has shuttlecraft now! Spock is in charge of six all crewmembers (including McCoy and Scotty) on one, but they crash land on planet. Yep, it's our first ever Star Trek shuttlecraft crash! The Enterprise can't scan for them because they're in some weird spacial thing. And there's an asshole galactic commissioner breathing down Kirk's neck! Spock takes a logical approach to command (he would!) and the others don't like this. A crewman is killed by an alien throwing a GIANT SPEAR. Spock suggests it might be necessary to leave someone behind as the shuttle will be too heavy to take off and everyone's disgusted. He doesn't see the point of conducting a funeral for the dead crewman either. This Spock guy is pretty damn logical! There's a good scene where some of the others want to attack the aliens but Spock is in command and isn't interested in the majority opinion and comes up with his own plan. Despite his plan seeming to work, another crewman is killed. Spock finds his body (out of scientific curiousity) and the aliens ineffectively throw some spears. It seems like a waste of spears.
Scotty comes up with a way to get off the planet but the aliens attack the shuttle. Everyone tells Spock off and blames him instead of being useful and at this point it's a bit annoying? Even McCoy is being annoying here (Scotty is the most professional.) Meanwhile the Galactic Commissioner keeps being a prick and counting down how long Kirk has to search. Kirk eventually orders the Enterprise to leave...at SPACE NORMAL SPEED. I assume that's pretty slow. Spock is hit by a boulder but McCoy and the other asshole save him. The shuttle takes off but they won't be able to orbit for long and there's only a slim chance the Enterprise will see them. Spock chooses to ignite the shuttle's fuel so the Enterprise will see it and they're saved just in time. Once back on the ship Kirk and McCoy tease Spock by saying it was illogical to ignite the fuel. Spock said that logically a desperate act was the only way to escape the hopeless situation. Everyone's laughs at Spock for not admitting he was being emotional. But...it was logical to ignire the fuel! They were going to die anyway so sending out a flare was actually a logical thing to do?
SO YEAH, while this is a very good episode I still have problems with it. Everyone's reaction to Spock on the planet seems really exaggerated. I like a good Spock/McCoy argument as much as the next person but McCoy's only role in the episode seems to be sitting there going "YOU'RE WRONG, SPOCK" instead of actually trying to help. After Spock's plan fails he's all "WELL IT WAS OBVIOUS YOUR PLAN WOULD FAIL YOU STUPID VULCAN" but he didn't actually say that before! And like I said the ending doesn't really work as what Spock did was pretty logical really. But I get what the episode is trying to do and the shuttle stuff is quite exciting and I like the giant aliens who are crap at throwing spears.
NOTE: As I'm watching the remastered versions on Netflix I sometimes wonder what the original versions looked like. This one surely benefited the most from the new special effects as all the shots of the shuttle look great and I imagine they didn't look like that originally!
SCORE: 8/10
Scotty comes up with a way to get off the planet but the aliens attack the shuttle. Everyone tells Spock off and blames him instead of being useful and at this point it's a bit annoying? Even McCoy is being annoying here (Scotty is the most professional.) Meanwhile the Galactic Commissioner keeps being a prick and counting down how long Kirk has to search. Kirk eventually orders the Enterprise to leave...at SPACE NORMAL SPEED. I assume that's pretty slow. Spock is hit by a boulder but McCoy and the other asshole save him. The shuttle takes off but they won't be able to orbit for long and there's only a slim chance the Enterprise will see them. Spock chooses to ignite the shuttle's fuel so the Enterprise will see it and they're saved just in time. Once back on the ship Kirk and McCoy tease Spock by saying it was illogical to ignite the fuel. Spock said that logically a desperate act was the only way to escape the hopeless situation. Everyone's laughs at Spock for not admitting he was being emotional. But...it was logical to ignire the fuel! They were going to die anyway so sending out a flare was actually a logical thing to do?
SO YEAH, while this is a very good episode I still have problems with it. Everyone's reaction to Spock on the planet seems really exaggerated. I like a good Spock/McCoy argument as much as the next person but McCoy's only role in the episode seems to be sitting there going "YOU'RE WRONG, SPOCK" instead of actually trying to help. After Spock's plan fails he's all "WELL IT WAS OBVIOUS YOUR PLAN WOULD FAIL YOU STUPID VULCAN" but he didn't actually say that before! And like I said the ending doesn't really work as what Spock did was pretty logical really. But I get what the episode is trying to do and the shuttle stuff is quite exciting and I like the giant aliens who are crap at throwing spears.
NOTE: As I'm watching the remastered versions on Netflix I sometimes wonder what the original versions looked like. This one surely benefited the most from the new special effects as all the shots of the shuttle look great and I imagine they didn't look like that originally!
SCORE: 8/10
The Tomtrek
Love Wookiee
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
It's lucky there wasn't a line where Kirk mentioned the flare was pink.
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Eggs Mayonnaise
All In With The Nuts
I dunno -- to me that's changing too much. The new shuttle launch out of the bay is obviously something that couldn't have been achieved back then, so it sort of takes the show out of its time. The effects weren't that terrible for the 60s. I don't like this kind of self-conscious over-fixing.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
The Squire of Gothos - Kirk and Sulu disappear from the Bridge. That means Spock gets to be in Command again, so that's fun! Nobody's a dick to him this time. McCoy and some other guys go down to a planet to look for Kirk and Sulu. They find them frozen in pace in a castle being held by some crazy alien named Trelane! He's been watching Earth through some kind of "space viewer" and his information is 900 years out of date. He likes Napoleon. He's a super powerful alien but also kind of dumb! Spock manages to transport the crew back to the ship but Trelane comes with them and transports some of them back down. He flirts with Uhura (in a racist way) and a Yeoman. Kirk figures out that the mirror is the source of Trelane's power and challenges Trelane to a duel. Kirk shoots the mirror and some comed soundy effects play.
The Enterprise tries to escape but Trelane keeps making them nearly fly into the planet (it's weird that he needed the machine behind the mirror if he's powerful enough to do this.) Kirk beams back down and Trelane puts him on trial. He finds Kirk guilty and is going to execute him, but Kirk convinces him to fight in a duel instead. They have a fun fight scene. It stops when Trelane's parents show up! He's just a child! MAYBE HE'S Q WHEN HE WAS A BABY. He gets grounded or something the end. It's a bit like that Futurama episode!
So you'll notice that the recap didn't take much space this episode. That's because not a lot actually happens. There's a lot of talking when we first meet Trelane and it goes on and on...it's not until the final fight between him and Kirk where things get entertaining. The saving grace of the episode is that William Campbell is great as Trelane. He plays the character perfectly as a spoiled brat who just wants to play and once you find out he's a child it all makes sense. Him and Shatner are fun playing off each other, once they're allowed to cut loose. The end scene is similar to 'Charlie X' (really the whole plot is) in a much lighter way. But really a lot of this episode is just pretty dull stuff! Just Trelane talking a lot, everyone trying to figure out what's going on...it's not bad it's just not very dynamic.
The salt monster from 'The Man Trap' appears in Trelane's home for some reason and McCoy does a double take, which is funny.
SCORE: 6.5/10
The Enterprise tries to escape but Trelane keeps making them nearly fly into the planet (it's weird that he needed the machine behind the mirror if he's powerful enough to do this.) Kirk beams back down and Trelane puts him on trial. He finds Kirk guilty and is going to execute him, but Kirk convinces him to fight in a duel instead. They have a fun fight scene. It stops when Trelane's parents show up! He's just a child! MAYBE HE'S Q WHEN HE WAS A BABY. He gets grounded or something the end. It's a bit like that Futurama episode!
So you'll notice that the recap didn't take much space this episode. That's because not a lot actually happens. There's a lot of talking when we first meet Trelane and it goes on and on...it's not until the final fight between him and Kirk where things get entertaining. The saving grace of the episode is that William Campbell is great as Trelane. He plays the character perfectly as a spoiled brat who just wants to play and once you find out he's a child it all makes sense. Him and Shatner are fun playing off each other, once they're allowed to cut loose. The end scene is similar to 'Charlie X' (really the whole plot is) in a much lighter way. But really a lot of this episode is just pretty dull stuff! Just Trelane talking a lot, everyone trying to figure out what's going on...it's not bad it's just not very dynamic.
The salt monster from 'The Man Trap' appears in Trelane's home for some reason and McCoy does a double take, which is funny.
SCORE: 6.5/10
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Arena - Oh it's THIS one. The one where Kirk fights the Gorn. That's a thing that's going to happen in this episode! I have to try to pretend I've never watched this before and imagine what it would have been like in the sixties. Okay, so the start is good with Kirk and the crew beaming down to an Earth colony and finding it has been destroyed. A redshirt gets vapourised and it looks painful and it's quite upsetting! The Enterprise (with Sulu in comand) is attacked too so it's can't drop "screens" to beam the landing party up. There's lots of explosions on the planet and Kirk and Spock fight back with a GRENADE LAUNCHER. The alien ship flees and it's worth noting that in this entire opening scene we don't get to see the aliens or their ship at all. Kirk thinks the aliens were going to invade the Federation and intends to never let their ship make it home. Spock doesn't want to destroy the alien ship and that's why he's Spock! Kirk says there's no time to hold other sentient life in regard. He's the space cop and he makes the space law. The Enterprise keeps chasing until suddenly it and the alien ship are stopped in space. The voice of "The Metrons" speaks to the Enterprise and says it's going to resolve their conflict with the aliens (the Gorn) by putting Kirk and the Gorn Captain on a planet and having them fight to the death!
It's quite an abrupt change! After twenty minutes of the Enterprise chasing mysterious aliens, some even more mysteriious aliens appear and put Kirk down on a planet with a lizard man. He's quit the lizard man. He hisses a lot and moves super slow in his unconvincing but charming lizard suit. Kirk fucking throws a rock at him but it just bounces off the Gorn's chest and he throws an eve bigger rock back at Kirk. I don't know if people thought this looked real in the sixites or not, but it's obviously dated terribly...that doesn't mean it isn't cool! The Gorn and Kirk both try to make weapons. Kirk rolls the biggest rock yet (from the top of Vasquez Rocks! Where he fought Finnegan!) onto the Gorn but it still gets up. Spock and McCoy keep talking about how helpless they are. The Metrons start playing the fight to the crew so they can watch Kirk die. They say things like "if only we could talk to him!" but they can't and really this all seems to be there to pad out the episode a bit. The Gorn speaks to Kirk (IN ENGLISH!) and explains that the Federation built an outpost in their space and the Gorn were just attacking invaders. McCoy says they could have been in the wrong all along, but surely if the Gorn can speak they could have warned the Federation to leave before slaughtering everybody?
Kirk builds a gun (while Spock explains everything to McCoy/the viewer) and the Gorn slowly walks towards him. Kirk shoots it with diamons to finally win the fight. I think Mytbusters proved this wouldn't work. Kirk refuses to kill the Gorn and a Metron appears and it looks like a young boy despite being really old. Like the reverse of Trelane! The Metron says Kirk is still half savage but there is hope for him! Kirk just smiles is returned to the Enterprise.
SO obviously this episode is iconic and one of the most memorable of the original series, just for the Gorn fight alone. I do like the episdose but I have some problems, mainly with the Metrons. Super advanced aliens judging the Enterprise has already become a bit of a cliche and the Metrons are not a particularly interesting example of the trope. They call humans primitive and half savage, yet they also offer to kill the Gorn captain for Kirk! And Kirk just laughs at this instead of being outraged and making an angry speech asking how dare the Metrons judge them. That's what I wanted him to do. The episode seems like it has something to say but it just fizzles out in the end with the lameness of the Metron. And despite suggesting that maybe the Gorn were just defening themselves and aren't really monsters it doesn't really ring true since the Gorn slaughtered hundreds(?) of people and the one fighting Kirk hisses evily all the time. The episode is hardly 'Darmok', put it that way.
SCORE: 8/10
It's quite an abrupt change! After twenty minutes of the Enterprise chasing mysterious aliens, some even more mysteriious aliens appear and put Kirk down on a planet with a lizard man. He's quit the lizard man. He hisses a lot and moves super slow in his unconvincing but charming lizard suit. Kirk fucking throws a rock at him but it just bounces off the Gorn's chest and he throws an eve bigger rock back at Kirk. I don't know if people thought this looked real in the sixites or not, but it's obviously dated terribly...that doesn't mean it isn't cool! The Gorn and Kirk both try to make weapons. Kirk rolls the biggest rock yet (from the top of Vasquez Rocks! Where he fought Finnegan!) onto the Gorn but it still gets up. Spock and McCoy keep talking about how helpless they are. The Metrons start playing the fight to the crew so they can watch Kirk die. They say things like "if only we could talk to him!" but they can't and really this all seems to be there to pad out the episode a bit. The Gorn speaks to Kirk (IN ENGLISH!) and explains that the Federation built an outpost in their space and the Gorn were just attacking invaders. McCoy says they could have been in the wrong all along, but surely if the Gorn can speak they could have warned the Federation to leave before slaughtering everybody?
Kirk builds a gun (while Spock explains everything to McCoy/the viewer) and the Gorn slowly walks towards him. Kirk shoots it with diamons to finally win the fight. I think Mytbusters proved this wouldn't work. Kirk refuses to kill the Gorn and a Metron appears and it looks like a young boy despite being really old. Like the reverse of Trelane! The Metron says Kirk is still half savage but there is hope for him! Kirk just smiles is returned to the Enterprise.
SO obviously this episode is iconic and one of the most memorable of the original series, just for the Gorn fight alone. I do like the episdose but I have some problems, mainly with the Metrons. Super advanced aliens judging the Enterprise has already become a bit of a cliche and the Metrons are not a particularly interesting example of the trope. They call humans primitive and half savage, yet they also offer to kill the Gorn captain for Kirk! And Kirk just laughs at this instead of being outraged and making an angry speech asking how dare the Metrons judge them. That's what I wanted him to do. The episode seems like it has something to say but it just fizzles out in the end with the lameness of the Metron. And despite suggesting that maybe the Gorn were just defening themselves and aren't really monsters it doesn't really ring true since the Gorn slaughtered hundreds(?) of people and the one fighting Kirk hisses evily all the time. The episode is hardly 'Darmok', put it that way.
SCORE: 8/10
The Tomtrek
Love Wookiee
WAS TRELANE A Q?
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE BLINKING GORN IN THE REMASTERED EPISODE?
DON'T WAIT FOR THE TRANSLATION, ANSWER ME NOW!!
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE BLINKING GORN IN THE REMASTERED EPISODE?
DON'T WAIT FOR THE TRANSLATION, ANSWER ME NOW!!
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Well I did say "MAYBE HE'S Q WHEN HE WAS A BABY"! Because it's possible!
At first I thought you were making a joke about blinking Ewoks, but I looked it up and the blinking Gorn is a real thing? Umm, I didn't actually notice.
I remember the CGI Gorn in Enterprise being a bit disappointing.
At first I thought you were making a joke about blinking Ewoks, but I looked it up and the blinking Gorn is a real thing? Umm, I didn't actually notice.
I remember the CGI Gorn in Enterprise being a bit disappointing.
The Tomtrek
Love Wookiee
The blinking Gorn was before the blinking Ewoks which is important I guess.
Colonel Kira's Left Tit
Bearded Belly of Bajor
The Gorn gets around. https://twitter.com/TravelGorn
Eggs Mayonnaise
All In With The Nuts
I feel that if you were going to include a review of the movie Free Enterprise, it should go after the Gorn epiode.
(But I know you aren't lol)
(But I know you aren't lol)
Eggs Mayonnaise
All In With The Nuts
Off-topic: A member of the Elvis Costello mailing list I've belonged to for 20 years always brought a Sting/Dune action figure to our get-togethers when we would meet up to see an Elvis show. The doll's name was Little Sting. There are many pictures of it at many shows around the world, most before the age of selfies. Elvis has been known to make many a Sting joke, even on The Larry Sanders Show.
CARRY ON.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Tomorrow Is Yesterday - We start in the 1960s. A UFO has been spotted. Stock footage of a fighter jet taking off. It's the Enterprise! But how! Turns out the Enterprise has been sent back in time by a "black star" (or something...this would have worked better as a follow up to The Naked Time really!) and Uhura's hair is messy. Kirk tractor beams the aircraft and it starts to break up, so he beams the pilot aboard. Kirk introduces himself to Captain John Christopher of the US airforce. Kirk explains that they're from the future and Christopher is shocked by the size of the ship and that there's a woman on board and by Spock's ears! Spock explains to Kirk that they can't let Christopher go home because he already knows too much and it could change the future. He probably should have told him this before Kirk told Christopher everything about the future, really. The computer has a sexy female voice now and calls Kirk "dear"! It was repaied by a planet full of women and they made it giggle a lot. Uhh...okay? Why would they make it such a stereotype? Maybe they were mocking the way Earthmen treat women or something. It's a strange detour for the episode to take.
Kirk tells Christopher he can't go home and Spock brutally explainsthat Christopher makes no significant contributions to the future. Scotty explains that they're trapped in this time period. Christopher tries to escape and Kirk punches him. Kirk and McCoy wonder if Christopher can be retrained to forget his family and be useful to them but Christopher wakes up and says never. Spock reveals that Christopher's son (who hasn't been born yet) will go to Saturn in the future so they have to send him home. Christopher reveals that his plane was recording the Enterprise and agress to help Kirk destroy the evidence so he can go home again. Kirk and Sulu beam down to the airforce base but are stopped. Spock accidentally beams up another airforce guy and raises an eyebrow at him in a way only Nimoy could do. Kirk has an INSANE fight scene with some airforce guys where he gives them a flying crossbody, karate chops and his famous double handed punch. It's pretty great. Spock examines Christophier's photos and says "poor photography" in another great comedy bit. Kirk is interrogated and told he'll be locked up for two hundred. "That oughta be just about right!" he says. Oh snap!
Christopher, Spock and Sulu beam down and rescue Kirk. Christopher gets a gun and refuses to be beamed back up. Spock nerve pinches him anyway. Spock and Scotty have found a way to get home by slingshotting around the sun. But they will first go back in time to before the point where they arrived (Spocks assures us it's logical!) and Christopher won't remember a thing because none of it will have happened. Okay? The Enterprise flies round the sun and Christopher (and the other guy) is beamed back into his own body and it's like none of this happened! The Enterprise arrives home after a bumpy journey and "Starfleet Control" hails them. The computer says "dear" again. The end!
So it's easy to say "THE TIME TRAVEL IS INCONSISTENT WITH THE REST OF TREK" but that's irrelevant as this was the first Star Trek time travel episode. All that matters is that the time travel is internally consistent in this episdoe and...well, I don't know. Why would travelling back in time erase Christopher's memories but not those of the Enterprise crew? Maybe time travel only erases your memory if you're alive in the time period you travel back to (in this episode.) Or something. I don't know. Not an insconsistency but it's also weird that the episode spends so much time on the crew trying to erase the physical evidence of their time travel when in the next scene Spock just says "we can make it so none of this happened!" so all those scenes of them in the base are pointless in the end! BUT of course none of that matters too much if the character stuff is good and the character stuff is great here. Kirk and Spock's chemistry has never been better and Christopher fits in vey well. There's interesting questions asked on the morality of time travel. And the episode is just flat out a lot of fun!
SCORE: 9/10
Kirk tells Christopher he can't go home and Spock brutally explainsthat Christopher makes no significant contributions to the future. Scotty explains that they're trapped in this time period. Christopher tries to escape and Kirk punches him. Kirk and McCoy wonder if Christopher can be retrained to forget his family and be useful to them but Christopher wakes up and says never. Spock reveals that Christopher's son (who hasn't been born yet) will go to Saturn in the future so they have to send him home. Christopher reveals that his plane was recording the Enterprise and agress to help Kirk destroy the evidence so he can go home again. Kirk and Sulu beam down to the airforce base but are stopped. Spock accidentally beams up another airforce guy and raises an eyebrow at him in a way only Nimoy could do. Kirk has an INSANE fight scene with some airforce guys where he gives them a flying crossbody, karate chops and his famous double handed punch. It's pretty great. Spock examines Christophier's photos and says "poor photography" in another great comedy bit. Kirk is interrogated and told he'll be locked up for two hundred. "That oughta be just about right!" he says. Oh snap!
Christopher, Spock and Sulu beam down and rescue Kirk. Christopher gets a gun and refuses to be beamed back up. Spock nerve pinches him anyway. Spock and Scotty have found a way to get home by slingshotting around the sun. But they will first go back in time to before the point where they arrived (Spocks assures us it's logical!) and Christopher won't remember a thing because none of it will have happened. Okay? The Enterprise flies round the sun and Christopher (and the other guy) is beamed back into his own body and it's like none of this happened! The Enterprise arrives home after a bumpy journey and "Starfleet Control" hails them. The computer says "dear" again. The end!
So it's easy to say "THE TIME TRAVEL IS INCONSISTENT WITH THE REST OF TREK" but that's irrelevant as this was the first Star Trek time travel episode. All that matters is that the time travel is internally consistent in this episdoe and...well, I don't know. Why would travelling back in time erase Christopher's memories but not those of the Enterprise crew? Maybe time travel only erases your memory if you're alive in the time period you travel back to (in this episode.) Or something. I don't know. Not an insconsistency but it's also weird that the episode spends so much time on the crew trying to erase the physical evidence of their time travel when in the next scene Spock just says "we can make it so none of this happened!" so all those scenes of them in the base are pointless in the end! BUT of course none of that matters too much if the character stuff is good and the character stuff is great here. Kirk and Spock's chemistry has never been better and Christopher fits in vey well. There's interesting questions asked on the morality of time travel. And the episode is just flat out a lot of fun!
SCORE: 9/10
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Yes I kept writing these while the board was down.
Court Martial - After a officer is killed in an ion storm, computer records indicate that Kirk is to blame. The Enterprise is at a base for repairs and Commodore Stone orders Kirk to remain there until it's determined if he'll face court martial. A load of other officers are nasty to Kirk in a bar. We discover Kirk had a history with Finney, the dead officer. They were friends once but had a falling out. Commodore Stone thinks Kirk is a big liar and wants him to stand down. Kirk demands a court martial RIGHT NOW instead. Despite this Kirk instantly starts flirting with an old flame at the bar (at this point, if there's a female guest star the chances are she's going to be an old flame of Kirk's.) Turns out she's the prosecutor! Oh uh! But she does have lawyer Samuel T. Cogley visit Kirk, suggesting he should defend him. He has loads of books (made out of paper!) and refuses to use a Kindle. Or a talking computer. He's a lot of fun.
The court room scenes are very good tv court room scenes. Spock is called to the stand and says no matter what the computer says, Kirk did not kill Finney as logically Kirk is too good a captain to have been responsible. McCoy is put on the stand too and also has complete faith in Kirk. Cogley doesn't want to cross examine any of the witnesses, he wants Kirk on the stand. Kirk defends himself, but a computer playback (I guess they have cameras filming the bridge at all times?) shows him failing to order a red alert before jettisoning the ion pod. Kirk say "but that's not the way it happened!" in a Shatner way. Spock still thinks something is up and plays chess with the computer. He beats the computer multiple times, which proves that the computer was tampered with. Because when you edit a recording you also make the computer not as good at chess, somehow? Cogley gets to go on a rant about rights and says Kirk has the right to face his accuser: the computer! They conclude that Kirk, Spock and Finney were the only men on the Enterprise with the ability to alter the computer (not even Scotty?) Finney is alive and hidng on the ship!
To find him, they have McCoy mask out the heart beat of everyone else on the ship so that only Finney's can be heard(!) This, of course, makes very little sense but it's an exciting sequence. Kirk finds Finney in engineering ad Finney speaks at him as an evil disembodied voice. His acting isn't very good! Finney has depleted the ship's energy supplies somehow and now it's about to crash on a planet. They have a fight and ithere's some shots where you can clearly see Kirk's stunt double who looks nothing like Shatner. Cogley had gone to get Jamie (Finney's daughter, named after Kikr) but strangely we don't get a scene of her and Finney together or see Cogley agan. It feels like she was going to be important but they just decided to have Kirk punch his way to victory instead? The Enterprise is saved and Kirk is found not guilty (obviously.) Kirk kisses his old flame (ON THE BRIDGE IN FRONT OF HIS CREW) and some really cheesey romantic music plays. That was a really strange ending, even for TOS!
So this is a fun if kind of dumb episode. The court room stuff is well acted, Cogley is a great guest star (who strangly vanishes near the end) and the heartbeat sequence is very memorable. The biggest problem is that when we finally meet Finney he's just a completely over the top cartoon character and it's hard to buy him and Kirk were ever friends. But it's an entertaining episode overall.
SCORE: 8/10
Return Of The Archons - We get a COLD OPEN of Sulu and another guy on an Earthlike planet, running away from guys in cloaks. Sulu is touched by a stick and when he beams up he starts acting all weird and saying the name "Landru" and "are you of the body?" a lot. It's a good way to start the episode with a mystery like this. The Enterprise is at the planet searching for the starship Archon which went missing a hundred years ago. Kirk, McCoy and Spock (in a hood because ears) beam down too and find the people there acting strangely. Then the "red hour" begins and everyone goes nuts and starts hitting each other and ripping their clothes off and saying "festival" a lot. Like one of those "The Purge" movies they have now? Maybe! Some more confusing conversations follow. It's all quite creepy but I'm not sure if it means much. Once the "red hour" ends everyone just goes back about their business like nothing happened. One of the guys who helped Kirk and friends is shot dead by Landru's cloaked slaves. Landru's people aren't used to open disobediance and don't know how to deal with Kirk. Also their weapons are just hollow tubes. Also I don't know what the fuck is going on.
Some brainwashed people chase our crew really slowly. If only Landru had thought to make them run faster. Our heroes hide out with the planet's resistance and they have quite an organised cell structure! The other guy who was there with Sulu at the start is found but he's been "absorbed" into "the body." Landru transmit a hologram somehow stating that he stands for peace. He makes everyone pass out with a weird noise! (Despite being passed out, Kirk somehow still manages to record a Captan's Log?) Kirk and Spock are locked up in a dungeon and Spock speculates that Landru's lawgivers are computers. McCoy has been brainwashed and DeForest Kelley gives a nice creepy performance asking if they're not of the body. Kirk is seemingly brainwashed too but the guy doing the brainwashing was actually another resistance fighter. Kirk decides that Landru must die and Spock mentions the PRIME DIRECTIVE for the first time. Kirk says it only applies to a living culture and this one has stagnated. Kirk doesn't give a fuck about the Prime Directive! McCoy goes nuts and Kirk has to give him a sleeperhold.
Kirk and Spock go to see Landru in his Hall of Speaking or whatever. They se the Landru hologram again and find the REAL Landru behind the wall. He's a big bulky sixties computer! He disables their phasers and says "I am he!" which is pretty cool. The real Landru programed the computer six thousand years ago. Kirk and Spock explain that creativity is necessary for the heatlh of the body and the Landru computer stands against this. Landru ends up exploding, of course, because that's what happens to computers when their logic is flawed! Kirk casually saying "you better look for a new job" to Landru's guard is funny. Kirk tells Spock he'd make a splendid computer and Spock thanks him.
THIS FUCKING EPISODE. There's so much stuff in it. So many Trek cliches (a computer that blows up after Kirk argues with it!) There's some nice details that make the world seem more alien, like the way they call anyone from another planet "Archons" (because of the missing Federation ship) and the whole "red hour" thing. It seems like the "festival" is to let the inhabitants get all their pent up emotions out before they go back to being Landru's slave...but the episode doesn't actually explain this or ask the question. That's kind of te probelm here. There's a lot of stuff and some of it isn't developed at all or is just dropped. The first half of the episode being so concerned with the festival seems disconnected from the second half where it's all about Landru. And how is Landru actually brainwashing people with hollow sticks anyway? So it's a weird one. It's interesting anyway. It isn't boring. The story just isn't told as well as it could have been.
SCORE: 7.5/10
Court Martial - After a officer is killed in an ion storm, computer records indicate that Kirk is to blame. The Enterprise is at a base for repairs and Commodore Stone orders Kirk to remain there until it's determined if he'll face court martial. A load of other officers are nasty to Kirk in a bar. We discover Kirk had a history with Finney, the dead officer. They were friends once but had a falling out. Commodore Stone thinks Kirk is a big liar and wants him to stand down. Kirk demands a court martial RIGHT NOW instead. Despite this Kirk instantly starts flirting with an old flame at the bar (at this point, if there's a female guest star the chances are she's going to be an old flame of Kirk's.) Turns out she's the prosecutor! Oh uh! But she does have lawyer Samuel T. Cogley visit Kirk, suggesting he should defend him. He has loads of books (made out of paper!) and refuses to use a Kindle. Or a talking computer. He's a lot of fun.
The court room scenes are very good tv court room scenes. Spock is called to the stand and says no matter what the computer says, Kirk did not kill Finney as logically Kirk is too good a captain to have been responsible. McCoy is put on the stand too and also has complete faith in Kirk. Cogley doesn't want to cross examine any of the witnesses, he wants Kirk on the stand. Kirk defends himself, but a computer playback (I guess they have cameras filming the bridge at all times?) shows him failing to order a red alert before jettisoning the ion pod. Kirk say "but that's not the way it happened!" in a Shatner way. Spock still thinks something is up and plays chess with the computer. He beats the computer multiple times, which proves that the computer was tampered with. Because when you edit a recording you also make the computer not as good at chess, somehow? Cogley gets to go on a rant about rights and says Kirk has the right to face his accuser: the computer! They conclude that Kirk, Spock and Finney were the only men on the Enterprise with the ability to alter the computer (not even Scotty?) Finney is alive and hidng on the ship!
To find him, they have McCoy mask out the heart beat of everyone else on the ship so that only Finney's can be heard(!) This, of course, makes very little sense but it's an exciting sequence. Kirk finds Finney in engineering ad Finney speaks at him as an evil disembodied voice. His acting isn't very good! Finney has depleted the ship's energy supplies somehow and now it's about to crash on a planet. They have a fight and ithere's some shots where you can clearly see Kirk's stunt double who looks nothing like Shatner. Cogley had gone to get Jamie (Finney's daughter, named after Kikr) but strangely we don't get a scene of her and Finney together or see Cogley agan. It feels like she was going to be important but they just decided to have Kirk punch his way to victory instead? The Enterprise is saved and Kirk is found not guilty (obviously.) Kirk kisses his old flame (ON THE BRIDGE IN FRONT OF HIS CREW) and some really cheesey romantic music plays. That was a really strange ending, even for TOS!
So this is a fun if kind of dumb episode. The court room stuff is well acted, Cogley is a great guest star (who strangly vanishes near the end) and the heartbeat sequence is very memorable. The biggest problem is that when we finally meet Finney he's just a completely over the top cartoon character and it's hard to buy him and Kirk were ever friends. But it's an entertaining episode overall.
SCORE: 8/10
Return Of The Archons - We get a COLD OPEN of Sulu and another guy on an Earthlike planet, running away from guys in cloaks. Sulu is touched by a stick and when he beams up he starts acting all weird and saying the name "Landru" and "are you of the body?" a lot. It's a good way to start the episode with a mystery like this. The Enterprise is at the planet searching for the starship Archon which went missing a hundred years ago. Kirk, McCoy and Spock (in a hood because ears) beam down too and find the people there acting strangely. Then the "red hour" begins and everyone goes nuts and starts hitting each other and ripping their clothes off and saying "festival" a lot. Like one of those "The Purge" movies they have now? Maybe! Some more confusing conversations follow. It's all quite creepy but I'm not sure if it means much. Once the "red hour" ends everyone just goes back about their business like nothing happened. One of the guys who helped Kirk and friends is shot dead by Landru's cloaked slaves. Landru's people aren't used to open disobediance and don't know how to deal with Kirk. Also their weapons are just hollow tubes. Also I don't know what the fuck is going on.
Some brainwashed people chase our crew really slowly. If only Landru had thought to make them run faster. Our heroes hide out with the planet's resistance and they have quite an organised cell structure! The other guy who was there with Sulu at the start is found but he's been "absorbed" into "the body." Landru transmit a hologram somehow stating that he stands for peace. He makes everyone pass out with a weird noise! (Despite being passed out, Kirk somehow still manages to record a Captan's Log?) Kirk and Spock are locked up in a dungeon and Spock speculates that Landru's lawgivers are computers. McCoy has been brainwashed and DeForest Kelley gives a nice creepy performance asking if they're not of the body. Kirk is seemingly brainwashed too but the guy doing the brainwashing was actually another resistance fighter. Kirk decides that Landru must die and Spock mentions the PRIME DIRECTIVE for the first time. Kirk says it only applies to a living culture and this one has stagnated. Kirk doesn't give a fuck about the Prime Directive! McCoy goes nuts and Kirk has to give him a sleeperhold.
Kirk and Spock go to see Landru in his Hall of Speaking or whatever. They se the Landru hologram again and find the REAL Landru behind the wall. He's a big bulky sixties computer! He disables their phasers and says "I am he!" which is pretty cool. The real Landru programed the computer six thousand years ago. Kirk and Spock explain that creativity is necessary for the heatlh of the body and the Landru computer stands against this. Landru ends up exploding, of course, because that's what happens to computers when their logic is flawed! Kirk casually saying "you better look for a new job" to Landru's guard is funny. Kirk tells Spock he'd make a splendid computer and Spock thanks him.
THIS FUCKING EPISODE. There's so much stuff in it. So many Trek cliches (a computer that blows up after Kirk argues with it!) There's some nice details that make the world seem more alien, like the way they call anyone from another planet "Archons" (because of the missing Federation ship) and the whole "red hour" thing. It seems like the "festival" is to let the inhabitants get all their pent up emotions out before they go back to being Landru's slave...but the episode doesn't actually explain this or ask the question. That's kind of te probelm here. There's a lot of stuff and some of it isn't developed at all or is just dropped. The first half of the episode being so concerned with the festival seems disconnected from the second half where it's all about Landru. And how is Landru actually brainwashing people with hollow sticks anyway? So it's a weird one. It's interesting anyway. It isn't boring. The story just isn't told as well as it could have been.
SCORE: 7.5/10
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