CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
(Written by Team Wacky. If you are not interested in my autistic obsession with female celebrities then read no further.)
It's been a great decade for my female celebrity obsession, so let's look back YEAR BY YEAR at the female celebrities who made up the decade! This is a perfectly sane thing to do.
2000
After the ENJOYABLE Star Wars Prequel 'The Phantom Menace' was watched by Wacky the previous year, actress Natalie Portman became his number one girl and still enjoyed that position going into 2000. Even on his dial-up connection Wacky would constantly check for new images of the Jewish star.
With Star Trek: Voyager still in its first run, Jeri Ryan rated highly in Wacky's affections. Though DS9 finished in 1999, Sky probably showed the final season in 2000 and Nicole de Boer was introduced into Wacky's obsessive spectrum.
IN THE WORLD OF POP, Britney Spears was still young, fresh and relatively innocent and even Christina Aguilera still looked like she bathed regularly.
2001
Shakira was added to the list of wankable pop stars by the end of the year. Wacky also began regularly watching Buffy: The Vampire Slayer after catching random episodes for a while and was impressed by Sarah Michelle Gellar...in the first three seasons anyway.
2002
Now finally watching first run Buffy on Sky, Wacky developed a secret attraction to Amber Benson which he learned not to mention on the internet. But it was Michelle Trachtenberg who shook up Wacky's female obsessed mind forever. At first he thought she might have been too young, but by the end of the season he just thought "fuck it, Dawn's hot as fuck!"
Avril Lavigne was also invented at some point during this year and Wacky instantly found her hot...though he soon learned to add the phrase "but I don't like her music, haha!" after using the phrase "Avril Lavigne is hot!" on the internet.
Relase of the "not quite as good as TPM but I STILL LIKED IT" Star Wars movie Attack of the Clones featuring Natalie Portman's bare midriff further cemented her as his favourite girl.
2003
The Buffy episode 'Him' appeared to be designed to say "yeah, seriously, Dawn is FUCKING HOT!'
On viewing the trailer for X-Men 2, Wacky remarks in the Mine Field that Anna Paquin looked very cute. Henoch picked up on that remark and so Wack's PERHAPS SLIGHTLY EXAGGERATED obsession with Anna Paquin (who nonetheless was one of Wacky's top girls for years, passing even Natalie on occasion) was born.
On asking Cock Gobbler the innocent question "who's that in your av?" Wacky receives the answer "Keira Knightley" and a whole new obsession is born...one that will rival even his obsession with Natalie in the coming years.
Beyonce shows that big asses are nice.
2004
The movie 'Eurotrip' is released to critical acclaim and cries of "HOLY FUCK MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG IS HOT."
The Keira/Natalie wars rage on, with Wacky even declaring the Keira is "HOTTER THAN NATALIE!!!" at various points over the next few years...though by 2006 the war was well and truly won by Natalie.
Big Brother 5 sees Wacky develop an annoying fixation with housemate Shell Jubin despite the fact that she's nothing all that special...it's just that he likes being able to watch her 24 hours a day.
Release of the movie 'Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban' causes pretty everyone on the internet to think "hey, Emma Watson is hot!" despite her only being 13 when principal photography took place.
2005
Wacky FINALLY notices and becomes obsessed with Scarlett Johansson and her cracking milkers.
The excellent conclusion to the Star Wars Saga 'Revenge Of The Sith' features Natalie speaking the now classic line "you're breaking my heart!"
The tv show 'Lost' debuts on Channel 4 and the Evangeline Lilly versus Emilie de Raven battle begins (it's Evangeline by far by the way.)
2006
Wacky watches the first Narnia movie early in the year and comments that Anna Popplewell (who plays Susan) is hot...and he is right.
Eva Green stars in Casino Royale and Wacky is very impressed by her crazy french eyes and breasts.
2007
Freema Agymeman joins the cast of Doctor Who.
The phrase "Keira Knightley isn't as hot as she used to be" is used with alarming regularity and accuracy.
Wacky, RATHER INNOCENTLY, begins noting the placements of girls on his occassional "top tens" posted in the Mine Field...and gets the idea to assign points based on these rankings...
2008
The first Wacky Hot One Hundred appears in April with Natalie Portman in the predictable number one spot.
Emilia Arata proves to be a worthy Big Brother girl obsession for once.
Summer Glau's appearance in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles raises eyebrows.
Kym Valentine returns to Neighbours, better than ever.
Katie McGrath of the BBC's Merlin makes a larger breasted replacement for Keira Knightley.
And Anjli Mohindra becomes the latest "is she too young...ah fuck it" star.
2009
True Blood star Deborah Ann Woll is way hotter than Anna Paquin, let's be honest.
Wacky finally (re-discovers) internet darling Felicia Day and admires her freckles.
Wacky develops a temporary obsession with Kate Winslet but Headvoid thinks he's lying for some reason.
Thanks perhaps to the efforts of Tomtrek (The Tomtrek) and also the fact that she's finally a regular in a tv show again, Michelle Trachtenberg rises in Wacky's affections, ranking number one in many weekly top tens, getting Wacky's vote in the "Hottest Actress In the World" poll and even beating Natalie Portman in the Wacky Hot One Hundred Version 4.0 to the amazement of many (well, two people really.)
But as the decade ends, Natalie Portman is back on top of the weekly top tens and number one in Wacky's mind...just like she was ten years ago...
WHO WILL HAVE THEIR NAME BOLDED IN 2019!?
It's been a great decade for my female celebrity obsession, so let's look back YEAR BY YEAR at the female celebrities who made up the decade! This is a perfectly sane thing to do.
2000
After the ENJOYABLE Star Wars Prequel 'The Phantom Menace' was watched by Wacky the previous year, actress Natalie Portman became his number one girl and still enjoyed that position going into 2000. Even on his dial-up connection Wacky would constantly check for new images of the Jewish star.
With Star Trek: Voyager still in its first run, Jeri Ryan rated highly in Wacky's affections. Though DS9 finished in 1999, Sky probably showed the final season in 2000 and Nicole de Boer was introduced into Wacky's obsessive spectrum.
IN THE WORLD OF POP, Britney Spears was still young, fresh and relatively innocent and even Christina Aguilera still looked like she bathed regularly.
2001
Shakira was added to the list of wankable pop stars by the end of the year. Wacky also began regularly watching Buffy: The Vampire Slayer after catching random episodes for a while and was impressed by Sarah Michelle Gellar...in the first three seasons anyway.
2002
Now finally watching first run Buffy on Sky, Wacky developed a secret attraction to Amber Benson which he learned not to mention on the internet. But it was Michelle Trachtenberg who shook up Wacky's female obsessed mind forever. At first he thought she might have been too young, but by the end of the season he just thought "fuck it, Dawn's hot as fuck!"
Avril Lavigne was also invented at some point during this year and Wacky instantly found her hot...though he soon learned to add the phrase "but I don't like her music, haha!" after using the phrase "Avril Lavigne is hot!" on the internet.
Relase of the "not quite as good as TPM but I STILL LIKED IT" Star Wars movie Attack of the Clones featuring Natalie Portman's bare midriff further cemented her as his favourite girl.
2003
The Buffy episode 'Him' appeared to be designed to say "yeah, seriously, Dawn is FUCKING HOT!'
On viewing the trailer for X-Men 2, Wacky remarks in the Mine Field that Anna Paquin looked very cute. Henoch picked up on that remark and so Wack's PERHAPS SLIGHTLY EXAGGERATED obsession with Anna Paquin (who nonetheless was one of Wacky's top girls for years, passing even Natalie on occasion) was born.
On asking Cock Gobbler the innocent question "who's that in your av?" Wacky receives the answer "Keira Knightley" and a whole new obsession is born...one that will rival even his obsession with Natalie in the coming years.
Beyonce shows that big asses are nice.
2004
The movie 'Eurotrip' is released to critical acclaim and cries of "HOLY FUCK MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG IS HOT."
The Keira/Natalie wars rage on, with Wacky even declaring the Keira is "HOTTER THAN NATALIE!!!" at various points over the next few years...though by 2006 the war was well and truly won by Natalie.
Big Brother 5 sees Wacky develop an annoying fixation with housemate Shell Jubin despite the fact that she's nothing all that special...it's just that he likes being able to watch her 24 hours a day.
Release of the movie 'Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban' causes pretty everyone on the internet to think "hey, Emma Watson is hot!" despite her only being 13 when principal photography took place.
2005
Wacky FINALLY notices and becomes obsessed with Scarlett Johansson and her cracking milkers.
The excellent conclusion to the Star Wars Saga 'Revenge Of The Sith' features Natalie speaking the now classic line "you're breaking my heart!"
The tv show 'Lost' debuts on Channel 4 and the Evangeline Lilly versus Emilie de Raven battle begins (it's Evangeline by far by the way.)
2006
Wacky watches the first Narnia movie early in the year and comments that Anna Popplewell (who plays Susan) is hot...and he is right.
Eva Green stars in Casino Royale and Wacky is very impressed by her crazy french eyes and breasts.
2007
Freema Agymeman joins the cast of Doctor Who.
The phrase "Keira Knightley isn't as hot as she used to be" is used with alarming regularity and accuracy.
Wacky, RATHER INNOCENTLY, begins noting the placements of girls on his occassional "top tens" posted in the Mine Field...and gets the idea to assign points based on these rankings...
2008
The first Wacky Hot One Hundred appears in April with Natalie Portman in the predictable number one spot.
Emilia Arata proves to be a worthy Big Brother girl obsession for once.
Summer Glau's appearance in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles raises eyebrows.
Kym Valentine returns to Neighbours, better than ever.
Katie McGrath of the BBC's Merlin makes a larger breasted replacement for Keira Knightley.
And Anjli Mohindra becomes the latest "is she too young...ah fuck it" star.
2009
True Blood star Deborah Ann Woll is way hotter than Anna Paquin, let's be honest.
Wacky finally (re-discovers) internet darling Felicia Day and admires her freckles.
Wacky develops a temporary obsession with Kate Winslet but Headvoid thinks he's lying for some reason.
Thanks perhaps to the efforts of Tomtrek (The Tomtrek) and also the fact that she's finally a regular in a tv show again, Michelle Trachtenberg rises in Wacky's affections, ranking number one in many weekly top tens, getting Wacky's vote in the "Hottest Actress In the World" poll and even beating Natalie Portman in the Wacky Hot One Hundred Version 4.0 to the amazement of many (well, two people really.)
But as the decade ends, Natalie Portman is back on top of the weekly top tens and number one in Wacky's mind...just like she was ten years ago...
WHO WILL HAVE THEIR NAME BOLDED IN 2019!?
