"You gonna get another job?"...

[Volpone]

I have been pretty good at not spending money frivolously. A few years back God (the Devil?) tempted me with a chance to build a Mystery Machine when I was in the middle of building an A-Team van. When I was buying the A-Team van, the guy I was buying it from said "I was thinking of doing a Mystery Machine wrap on this..." By that point I had the signed and notarized title in my hot little hand before I said "You need a '68 Chevy van for a Mystery Machine. This is the A-Team van." A few days later he tried to tell me there was a problem with the title and I should mail it back to him to fix it. I'm 93% sure he decided he wanted an A-Team van and was trying to suck it back. (I looked for over 2 years for an appropriate A-Team van. Wasn't even looking for a 1983 GMC G1500 Vandura--just a sufficiently ballsy looking van to do an "inspired by..." Thinking of an '08 Ford Econoline. And this thing dropped in my lap. Anyway, if I didn't think I could find a decent standard sized GM cargo van with a sliding door, I certainly didn't think I could find a '68. And then it happened. At a town even closer and a price even lower than the A-Team van, someone was selling a '67 Chevy Van. At the time I was regularly driving to my realtor's to buy my first rental. And on the way was a sign place. They also did vehicle wraps. And for a promotion they had a van out front in a Mystery Machine wrap. Stopped and talked to them. Bottom line is, for around $10K I could've had a Mystery Machine.

At the time I didn't have $10K to just waste. And I didn't have enough garage space for 2 vans, so I let the opportunity slip away. A part of me still regrets it, but I stand by my decision.

Anyhow, "Ghostbusters: Afterlife" had a powerful effect on me and now I kind of want to do an Ectomobile. A screen-accurate ECTO-1 would be a 1959 Cadillac/Miller-Meteor hearse-ambulance conversion. The Internet says 400 of these were made. Columbia pictures owns at least 2 of them and I know of at least 2 more. So the odds of finding one are slim to none. And the cost of getting one running...please.

The other option for a screen-accurate ECTO-1 would be to buy a 1959 Sedan DeVille and hire a limo/coachbuilder to convert it to a station wagon. The cost and everything else makes this a difficult proposition.

Another thing to consider: "Ghostbusters" was filmed in 1984. In 1984 a '59 Caddy wasn't *that* old. Today a '59 Caddy is ANCIENT. And with all the wiring and electronics involved in an ECTO-1... Shit, the actual ECTO-1 broke down on Columbia during shooting of "Ghostbusters 2," resulting in a hefty fine from NYC for obstructing traffic. And that was...I forget...30 years ago?--definitely NOT a daily driver. It's kind of like the General Lee. When they made "The Dukes of Hazzard" in 1978, they wanted a cheap, plentiful car they could wreck a lot of if the pilot got picked up for a series. So they went with a '69 Charger. Now, a '69 Charger is fairly hard to find--in no small part because of how many got wrecked during "The Dukes of Hazzard's" run. Anyhow, the way to go was a circa '96 GM wagon.

Now GM apparently has never made a Cadillac wagon. Any that you see are custom jobs. But they made them as Chevys, Buicks, and Oldsmobiles. And a '91-96 GM wagon is only about a foot(?) (May have to go back and check my math/memory) shorter than the mighty ECTO-1. So. The Plan is to get an early '90s GM wagon for an "inspired by..." Ectomobile. And lo, I found one within reasonable driving distance at a fair price. So it is put up or shut up time. Do I blow valuable dollars and valuable potential rent for storage space for some crazy folly that won't even be screen accurate? I dunno. I'm hoping the bugger sells and takes the decision away from me like the Mystery Machine.

LOL. Shit, if I'd have got the Mystery Machine and I built an Ectomobile, I could've gobbled up half my valuable storage space on crazy whims.

 

[Volpone]

I also had a shot at a G-1 Optimus Prime--1970s Freightliner cabover. But even with my added garage space I couldn't have found a place to park it. And just getting it on and off the property was beyond my meager driving skills. Besides, if everything else was in mint condition, I could've easily dropped $20K just painting the bugger.

 

[Lanzman]

I can tell you from the experience of driving my 40-foot class A RV that driving something that big, if you don't do it all the time, is intimidating. Obviously a cab-over semi tractor isn't forty feet long, but it's still a very large vehicle. You have to constantly be aware of where the back end is, where your pivot point is when making turns, how high or low that bridge you're about to go under is . . . there's a reason truck drivers have to get a different license than Johnny Joe Jimmy Bob in his Ford POS does.

 

[Volpone]

I'm hiding out right now. It's OK to be afraid. But you can't let the fear stop you. I should be listing my vacant rental right now--and then doing some minor touch-up work on it. But I haven't yet. Planning to after lunch.

This morning, as I was waking up, I realized why I hate listing a property so much:
1) I'm an introvert. So going out and asking a bunch of people to contact me and then having to arrange showings is very draining for me.
2) I also like to help people and solve problems. A bunch of qualified people will apply for my rental. I only get to say "yes" to one of them. I have to tell all the others "no."
3) There's also the fear of "what if I get it wrong?" I don't have to deal with any of this until I list the place.

I think I will also try to make one more call to property managers to see if I can get someone to work for me. The fee is in line with what a month's insurance or taxes are. Less than $100 to not have these worries and headaches would be worth it for me.

 

[Volpone]

I can tell you from the experience of driving my 40-foot class A RV that driving something that big, if you don't do it all the time, is intimidating. Obviously a cab-over semi tractor isn't forty feet long, but it's still a very large vehicle. You have to constantly be aware of where the back end is, where your pivot point is when making turns, how high or low that bridge you're about to go under is . . . there's a reason truck drivers have to get a different license than Johnny Joe Jimmy Bob in his Ford POS does.

No kidding. Even the Awesome Van requires some awareness. For being a big metal box, I've got the side mirrors set up pretty well to eliminate blind spots and I can see a surprising amount out the rear windows with the rearview mirror. But the lights and spoiler make it a close fit for a standard garage door (that's part of the reason I did the interior right away instead of waiting--added weight lowers the height--and even so the door must be up as far as it will go (I don't think it will fit in my rental that has a garage door opener) and I have to take down the antennae first. There's a whole series of controls for taking her out. There's a string that hangs from the garage door to remind me to make sure it is open far enough and I leave a trash can (that I stand on to get at the antennae) in front of the garage door so I don't forget to take them down.

Well, I listed my rental. Part of the reason I was in a rush to get my other place rented last year was that the county just passed a law to require landlords to accept Section 8 that was about to go into effect. When I posted the listing, I unchecked "allow people to call you" but I guess it didn't take. Because 2 minutes later I got a call. And it was "Hi, do you take Section 8?" So now I gotta dance through that mine field.

 

[Volpone]

I hate humans so, so much. "Hi. I'd like to know more about your property at..."
"What would you like to know?"
"When can I see it?"
"When are you available?"

If they'd just say "Hi, I'd like to see your rental on Saturday at 9:30" that would save both of us about 5 pointless e-mails. And I do appreciate the honesty of "we have to move right away," but that really doesn't fill me with confidence in you as a quality tenant.

Oh. The other great one was "Would you like to do 11:30am March 19? If not, what time works for you? I can do anything except 1:30pm." "What times are you available Saturday?" [Looks at e-mail. Looks at Saturday, March 19 on the calendar. Looks back at e-mail.] Yeah. I'll be getting right back to you on that one.

 

[Volpone]

I hate humans so goddamn much. "When can I see the property?" "I've already got someone scheduled for 5:30 tonight, 1:30 Saturday, and 10am Sunday. Any other time will work." "Great, I'll take the 1:30."

 

[Volpone]

"Sunday is wide open after 10:15." "Sounds good. I'll see you at 9am." "Can you do a showing this morning?" [sent at 2:58pm] I just realized, stupid people aren't a protected class. So I can rule out an applicant for being stupid and it isn't a fair housing violation.

 

[Volpone]

Not ready for the private professional Facebook group post:
Thesis: Doing is scary. But not doing is scarier.
Discussion: In June I took a consulting gig as a favor to a friend. I tried to talk him out of it and argued that I wasn't qualified. But I was the best he had. And he was a friend. And he *swore* the project was 3 months, at longest. And since I wasn't doing it for the money but as a favor to a friend (although the money was very good--and if it hadn't been I couldn't have stayed) I stayed around as 3 months turned into 4, then 5, then 6. When we were coming up on 9 months I said I had to leave. He had 2/3 of his new hires and his last one would be coming on the day after I left.

Well when I agreed to help him, my business was running pretty smoothly. And my Dog had just died. So at least on paper I had an extra 20 hours that could go straight to the project. But the reality was more complex, because wandering along a creek with a dog is a very different experience than running SQL queries on databases to run through analytic programs and report in online meetings. And "things fall apart..." 2 months into the project my best renters called me to tell me they needed to break their lease. Their business had had a setback and they needed to move in with family to save money. And it was at the worst possible time in the rental cycle--September. I wasn't going to have time to get the place ready to re-rent before the Holidays. Since I was making more in a week on the consulting than a month's rent I just decided to leave the place empty until Spring--or the job wrapped up. Then my Cat died. And my other renter started becoming a Problem Child and I started doubting every decision I'd made--and my ability to make decisions.

I finally put my foot down after Problem Child played one too many games. And I put my foot down with my friend--because I absolutely had to get back to my life. If for no other reason, the grass is starting to grow again and I barely have time to mow one lawn let alone 3--without his miserable job. But when it came time to list the vacant place I was terrified. What if I'm not cut out for this? Evidence sure seems to support it. That's the trouble with letting things slide: You lose your confidence. If something goes wrong and you fix it you learn that you know what you're doing, just sometimes life throws curve balls. If something goes wrong and you don't fix it...and then something else goes wrong...and then something else...pretty soon you start to think everything you do goes wrong. So yeah, doing can be scary. But not doing can be even scarier.

 

[Volpone]

And sometimes you've got to do something that you're not sure of--even if doing a similar thing burned you in the past. Other times being burned in the past helps keep you from getting burned the same way.

Listed the house Thursday. For whatever reason all the applicants have really lousy credit. I only had one that met criteria. And she applied sight unseen. Didn't do a tour or anything. A lot of the people I've had do that are either scammers or they put in the application as a fallback plan. On top of that she's a bartender, so if 'rona shutdowns come back like Fauci would desperately love, she (and I) is hosed. Also, tip income isn't as steady as I'd like (and I can't be 100% certain it isn't inflated.

So I was very happy when an older (like my age) couple showed on in a slick Jeep with nice clothes. Good solid jobs too. A few little warning bells, but I'd have the application to follow up on them from. Well the woman sent in an application--but not the man. And there were some little slips and inconsistencies in it. At that point, before coming back with "I need an application from every adult resident" I used the facts I had to do some Web research. The guy likely does make the money he says he makes. But he also spends it. Expensive toys. An ex-wife and kids that may not be getting their child support. Oh well. Back to my bartender.

I couldn't really call the employment reference at 6pm on a Saturday (or maybe I could) but I had some time to kill so I drove by her current listed residence and then stopped by the place she works for a beer. (I also did a little online research on her that actually checked out.) I hadn't met her, but there was a bartender that looked like her sister and mother (like I said, I did a little online research). And then when someone called her by an abbreviation of my applicant's name I was pretty sure it was her. I had other stuff to do so I was set to head out after just one beer and she tried to coax me into staying. After making a somewhat lame excuse, I decided to introduce myself. I was worried that she'd find it weird or creepy but she was actually delighted. We had a nice talk and I think we're on the same page. Some things that I was worried about were somewhat alleviated and I think it will work.

Or, you know, I could be totally wrong again. But sometimes you just have to take the chance and make the best decision available to you. We'll see.

 

[Volpone]

I am increasingly an accidental criminal. I'm not even ready to go into my most spectacular one yet--even with the relative anonymity of this place--but doing my bookkeeping tonight, I'm realizing I've shoplifted more than once.

First time, getting groceries. Making small talk with the cashier as I'm checking out. Got home and put everything away. A few days later, as I'm entering my receipts I'm realizing I don't have a receipt for the groceries. Looked everywhere. Now the supermarket has a liquor store too, so I pick up my booze and I had the receipt from that, so I had a pretty good ballpark estimate of the time I went through the checkout. And I kind of remembered about which lane. So I went back and asked. Turned out there was no way of looking it up apparently. I know I stuck my card in the machine, but the cashier must've voided it instead of just running it.

Thursday I picked up a couple hanging baskets of pansies to dress out some planter hooks on a patio. It was a pain in the ass getting the self-checkout to do what it was supposed to do and the screen said "Transaction voided." So I was just about set to stomp over and wait in the interminable Wal*Mart checkout line when the machine spit out a receipt. I grabbed it. It had the items listed on it. And the amount. Huh. I guess it went through after all. Happily strolled out of the store with a brace of flowers and a receipt in hand. Well today I was trying to put it into the computer and saw that apparently the auto checkout creates receipts for voided transactions. Who'd-a thunk it?

OK. I held off on my greatest crime (for reasons that will become obvious) but with the degree of anonymity and obscurity of this site--and that I didn't technically do anything wrong--I will share it: I stole an AR-15 out of the evidence room of a police department in a Chicago suburb.

A few years ago my house was burglarized on a Sunday morning while I was out walking my dog. Professional job. Snapped a window latch with a big screwdriver, in and out in a bit over an hour, didn't take anything but guns. Well when your gun is stolen and you file a police report, if you have the serial number and other unique identifying information, you info goes into a stolen gun database. So a little over 2 years later I got a call from my local police that my AR-15 had turned up with a police department in a Chicago suburb. After a little over a year of phone calls, I was finally able to get a direct number and a name of a point of contact. And a month or two ago I got a commitment that she would look for it and if it was there I could have it back--but that she would have to go through "all her AR-15s."

After a week or so, not hearing back, I decided to send her a letter(I didn't have an e-mail address for her). I described the theft and the rifle, and provided photos of it. After another week or so I called again. She did have my AR-15 and if I made the 5 hour drive and brought the purchase receipt and my ID I could have it back. It took about 2 hours to find an 11 year old receipt, but I was successful. So the next day I took off from work and drove up to Chicago. Slipped my ID and receipt under the glass in their waiting area and 5-10 minutes later an officer came out with a rifle-sized box labled "EVIDENCE" (and of course my receipt and ID). There was a hole in the bottom of the box so I could see the mag well. With the size of the box it was pretty apparent that my $450 Aimpoint sight was missing but that was about all I could tell except that it was a flat-top AR-15.

Now. Since I'm not 100% sure about Chicago and/or Illinois' gun laws but I'm pretty sure walking around or driving around in your car with an AR-15 isn't particularly legal, I didn't open the box. I didn't ask any questions or say anything that might make them change their mind. I took the box, went straight to my car, stuck it in the trunk, and drove straight home. Got home and was going to stick the box in a duffel bag I'd brought along for the purpose. As I was maneuvering it into the bag, the gun slid to one end of the box. And it slid a lot farther than a rifle should slide in a rifle-sized box. So I opened it up.

What had once been a pretty nicely set-up patrol rifle had been butchered down into a pistol. (Actually a fairly nice pistol, over all, but I really don't want or need an AR-15 pistol and pretty much everything I loved about the gun had been stripped off it.) It was devastating. There was writing all over the gun with a silver paint pen and somehow they'd managed to seamlessly remove the logo from the lower receiver. I brought it in the house and stuck it in the closet.

When I'd recovered from about 12 hours on the road and all the other stress, I got it out to see just what I had to work with. I really don't want to do any gunsmithing, but the AR-15 is a pretty simple and flexible platform for modifying so I figured I could get a new barrel, handguard, and buttstock, new optics, backup sights, and a sling and restore her to her former glory. That's when I noticed it had a different pistol grip. My rifle had a Magpul pistol grip. This one had a GI-style pistol grip. And the trigger guard was different too. Flipped it over and there was engraving on the other side of the receiver that wasn't familiar: "Apache Arms Lexington, KY [XXXXX]" Now. *My* AR-15 was made by TROS (The Riddle of Steel) out of Dundee, OR. It just happened to have the same serial number. Since AR-15s are so easy to build a lot of little shops build them. And a lot probably use a "00001, 00002, .... 09999, 10000" serial number scheme. So either my police department didn't write down the manufacturer information when they submitted the report to the stolen firearms database, the stolen firearms database didn't write it down, or the clerk going over police reports didn't bother to check the manufacturer. They just saw the matching serial number and decided it was my gun. And since this police department kept their firearms evidence in cardboard boxes, they didn't bother to compare the pictures and description in the letter I sent to the firearm they had. They didn't even stop and ask questions about why their evidence box said "Apache Arms [XXXXX]" while the receipt I gave them said "TROS [XXXXX]" on it, they just handed me the box and sent me on my way.

So now I have an AR-15 that I never bought but technically is legally mine. I mean, a police department had possession of it, they looked at my ID and the receipt I showed them and compared it to the gun they had, said "yes, this belongs to you" and gave it to me. So now I have to decide whether it is smarter to just say "they're happy, I'm...well not happy, but I'm OK," and all the paperwork is done, or to call up some police officer and say "Hey, there's been a fuckup and you just gave me a gun that isn't mine from your evidence locker and I took it to another state. How do you want to fix this?" Because if I make that call, someone will have to figure out how to fix it. And if I chose option one there is nothing to fix because all the paperwork is done and proper and nobody fucked anything up that needs fixing.

 

[Volpone]

Sometimes a disturbing thought leads to an even more disturbing thought. I'm in the process of renting my vacant house. It has been...slow. And painful. And I'm like "who decided to put me in charge!? I don't know what I'm doing." And then I realized that I know what I'm doing more than probably 2/3 of people--or more. Ergo, *nobody* knows what they're doing. We're living on a planet of idiots, blundering around just doing whatever they think they should do next. And some of them have nukes.

 

[Volpone]

Reminds me: Back when I was in school for the Marine Corps, we're all piled in the back of a 5 ton, waiting for the people running things to figure out what we're going to do next and making small talk. I turn to the guy next to me and say "The entire rest of the world thinks the US Marines are the best of the best, most elite fighting force. We know how fucked up we are, can you imagine what it's like to be in the Turkish Navy?"

 

[Volpone]

AACK! The Slinky/bungee cord effect. Along with the quirk of the brain, when it has ruled out an option as not practicable, having trouble coming back to that option when conditions have changed to make it valid.

A few months back I decided to pull the trigger and outsource my property management. I thought it through and the idea made sense. Then I spent whatever time I had for months, trying to get a property management company to actually want to manage my properties. Eventually I gave up and just got back into doing it myself. So I had my plate loaded up with stuff to do this morning when I got a call on the business line. "Ah. That must be the person I want to put in my vacant property." [picks up the phone] It's a property management company, finally returning my call. So we talk for a bit but at this point I've kind of already decided to have another go at doing things myself. And their terms aren't quite as nice as the terms for the other companies that I haven't been able to finalize with, so I thank them and say I'm going to try at least once more myself.

And then I have some time to think about it. At least half the stuff I have to do this morning just *goes away* if I let these people manage my properties. All of the headaches go away. You pay an agent 10%. You pay around 10% in property taxes. You pay around 10% for rental property insurance. Why not give someone 10% to take away a big headache and apply systems and tools that they have at their disposal that I don't have because of my small size?

Also, the other day I got off the phone with my brother. Long story short, he's been running a bar into the ground for about 25 years. Gotten to the point where he can't sell it and it is often cheaper for him to have closed than to have it open for business. Then a year or two back he found a guy with experience managing bars that wanted a bar of his own but didn't have the cash for it. So they came to an arrangement. Long story short, the place is turned around and actually making decent money now. Well, as I'm talking to my brother, I learn that he's had a falling out with his manager/partner/whatever and he's going to be taking things back himself. So, knowing my brother, I smile and say "Oh! That's...nice." And dread that he's going to run the place back into the ground. But hopefully he learned a few things from this guy and he'll be able to keep it going.

Anyway, one of the things that led to this was that he felt like this guy was giving himself extra bonuses instead of being an equal partner. OK. Fair enough. But even in the worst case, is it better to have 1/3 of the best year you've had in a decade or 100% of losing money? And I realized this applied to my situation as well. Let the people that know how to do something and have the tools to do it right handle it and pay them a fair amount for this. So I called my person back. Had to leave a message. Now I'll probably get to wait 2 more business days again. And by the time they get back to me I'll have had to go ahead with my plans and it will be too late to use them.

 

[Lanzman]

Sometimes a disturbing thought leads to an even more disturbing thought. I'm in the process of renting my vacant house. It has been...slow. And painful. And I'm like "who decided to put me in charge!? I don't know what I'm doing." And then I realized that I know what I'm doing more than probably 2/3 of people--or more. Ergo, *nobody* knows what they're doing. We're living on a planet of idiots, blundering around just doing whatever they think they should do next. And some of them have nukes.

We should talk . . .

 

[Volpone]

We should talk . . .

A corollary to this is that I go through a cycle of working for myself and going "I don't want to be in charge, I want someone to tell me what to do." So I get a W2 clock-punching job where I just have to do what I'm told and start thinking "these people are idiots. I don't want to have to do what they tell me." Lather, rinse, repeat.

 

[Volpone]

God, I wish Life was like game shows where, if you make a decision a little bell or buzzer would go to tell you if you were right or wrong. Picked a renter for my vacant house. Had some reservations about her but she met all the qualifications and at some point you've got to make a decision. Showed her the place today. She was younger than I remembered her (although also, now that I think about it, I'm older than I remember I am). Anyway, I thought we'd nail this down today and we didn't. Meanwhile I did show the place to someone today that I'd had previously scheduled. I kind of hoped she'd no-show, but she showed up. And I really liked her. I really liked the last people I showed to also and their application raised a decent number of red flags. Hence going with the other person that met qualifications and just was less perfect than I'd have liked. But yeah. I tried to be professional and polite, but I realized I had to balance that with a bit of unpleasant and scary because it is clear my first 2 sets of renters decided they could get away with stuff with me. Have no idea if I was right or not. I guess if I scared her off and it was because she is a turd, then it was the right thing. And I've got to believe that someone that isn't a turd isn't going to get scared off by expectations that rules will be followed. I guess we'll see.

 

[Volpone]

Why don't Southern girls do gangbangs?
Too many thank-you cards to write.

Ugh. Trying to turn off the rental listing firehose and it is exhausting on so many levels:
1) I like to help people and solve problems. So I have to tell all these people I can't help them or solve their problem.
2) I'm an introvert so just interacting with all these people is tiring anyway.
3) A lot of people didn't get accepted for valid reasons: Not enough income. Lousy credit. Being dishonest in the application process. You can't really say that though. You pretty much have to stick with "We've identified a qualified applicant..."
4) There are some stupid people out there. Some really, really stupid people. I already touched on the people that can't understand simple scheduling: "Any time after 10:15." "OK. 9 it is." But I got one person who wanted to look at a house that I don't even have. And once I decided I had someone qualified who was still interested I left the listing active but put a big header on it "WE ARE NOT DOING ANY NEW SHOWINGS OR REVIEWING NEW APPLICATIONS..." This had very little effect at reducing the number of people submitting applications or asking for showings.

 

[Volpone]

Just a quick dump: Rented the vacant place. Mostly think I picked well. Meets all the written criteria. BUT...single parent with 3 kids, so the income is stretched more thin than is ideal. Also a fairly big step up from the place she's currently renting. Finally, she is moving at the end of the month. So I worry that she can afford the place and I also worry about her planning abilities. As a rule, you don't want someone that is saying "I need to move in tomorrow," you want someone who is looking 1-2 months out. Also means I need to make a mad dash to get everything ready. At this point it is mostly putting together a "welcome aboard" package with some driveway patching and maybe mowing the lawn (and I'm 75% sure my lawnmower needs maintenance). Oh, that's the other thing: I'm old, so I just do checks in the mail. She did the deposit and the April rent with cashier's checks so I don't know if she just assumed she needed that or that she doesn't have a checking account. She said she prefers paying with Zelle, so I guess I get to learn how to do that too.

Meanwhile, I stuck the files I'd been working on in an archive folder, changed the password, and shipped it back to my friend. Then on the way to work last night my friend texts me: "The intern says she needs 2 files from you. Get with her if you haven't shipped the laptop yet." "I assume you sent it overnight or next day." OK. First off, dude. You've known me for over 30 years. We were roommates in college. When have you ever known me to do something the most expensive way possible for no practical reason? I shipped it the cheapest way I could. It'll get there Tuesday. (I changed the password so he could get into it if he needed to. Not a huge fan of that idea, but oh well. I did try to talk him out of hiring me and then spent 2/3 of the job begging to leave.) Second, I came so close to uploading the files the intern needed, but I only had so much time and just wanted to be done so I didn't want to fart around recreating an entire file structure in SharePoint and I also didn't want to create a huge confusing junk drawer. And the brand new hire is supposed to be learning the jobs related to those files from the previous employee (who is still with the company in a different role) so I decided to leave them out.

Well I guess that's it. I've got lots to do this weekend, I'd better get moving.

 

[Volpone]

Quick stress therapy: You can't uncrap your pants.

I've spent the past few weeks getting texts from my soon-to-be former tenant, begging and bargaining to be allowed to stay. Sorry buddy. You fucked it up. All you had to do is pay your rent on time and in full and you could've stayed as long as you wanted. But you wanted to play games instead. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. He gets to move because he made me wait 4 days for $24 just to see if I'd put up with it. By the time we were signing the lease I was realizing this was going to be a thing with this guy. And I tried to warn him. I said "I'm a nice guy. I don't like playing games. But I know how to. And when someone forces me to play games I win." But he forgot that. Or wasn't able to learn it.

It frustrates me when you see someone is going to do something stupid and you try to warn them but they're an adult with free will so there's only so much you can do and they have to make their own choices.

Got a Facebook IM from a girl I once had a crush on. Moving back to Oregon from Hawaii, I needed a place to stay. The Plan was to move back, rent a room until I got a job and then buy a house near my job. But Portland being Portland, there were no jobs. Anyway, rented a room from a cute girl my age. Sadly, she had a boyfriend. Eventually they broke up. And she proceeded to get boyfriend after boyfriend that were not me. I wondered if maybe she didn't respect me because I didn't own a house so, since the housing market was crap, I found a house I could afford. And when my Mom wouldn't loan me money to buy it (because obviously banks wouldn't loan money to an unemployed guy)--in spite of having successfully loaned me money for land in the past that got repayed in full on time with interest--I just had to cash out my IRA. Still didn't get the girl and eventually gave up on Oregon. Sold the house for almost 3x what I'd paid for it 7 years earlier.

The cute girl eventually lost her house and had to move into an apartment, and got old and fat. A month or two ago (when I mentioned it above) one of my other Oregon friends said she was asking about me. And today she IM'ed me on Facebook. She misses me. Sorry to hear that darling. You had your shot 10 years ago. Now I'm more than half a continent away and I've moved on. Truth be told, I dodged a bullet on that one. Anyhow, I'll probably reach out to her when I get time. But right now I've got stuff that needs doing and no time to waste on someone else's bad decisions. I want to retire this year.