Freestyle Friends thread

[CaptainWacky]

(Monica and Rachel are eating pizza.)

Monica: This pizza is so good.

Rachel: Yeah, but what did you do to it after it was delivered?

Monica: Oh, I washed it.

(Audience laugh.)

Rachel: You WASHED it?

Monica: I'm not going to eat a pizza straight from the box without washing it!

Rachel: So that's why it tastes soapy!

Monica: Don't judge me!

(Joey walks in.)

Joey: MMMM, PIZZA!

Rachel: Joey, NOOOOOOOO!

(But it's too late! Joey collapses on the floor.)

Monica: Shit, I forgot he's allergic to soap!

(Chandler walks in.)

Chandler: Hello chiildren! I just had sex with a man in a public toilet...only joking! Hey, what's wrong with Joey?

Rachel: He's choking to death you drongo!

(Ross runs in.)

Ross: I'll save him...WITH SCIENCE!

(Phoebe pops out of the trash can.)

Phoebe: Science, pfffft, only WICCAN MAGIC can save him!

Monica: The fuck were you doing in my trash can?

Phoebe: Looking for my dead mother!

(Joey jumps up.)

Joey: I'm not really allergic to soap at all!

(They all laugh.)

THE END

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

FAT NAKED GUY SITS ON MARCEL SHOCKER! Tonight at 6, 6:30, and 11.

 

[Cassie]

STOP MONKEYING AROUND!

 

[CaptainWacky]

It's funny how we all remember Ugly Naked Guy and the monkey when they were only in the first few seasons and also the old guy who lived underneath them and guest starrred in some Star trek I'm sure.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Wasn't there an episode where they found out who the Ugly Nekkid Guy was, because he died? And then Ross moved into his apartment or sumink?

 

[whisky]

No, ugly naked didn't die, he was just selling his apartment, which Ross only got by getting naked himself.

Mr Bickles from upstairs died though

 

[Fuddlemiff]

I'm glad I don't remember that episode properly.

 

[Dr Dave]

One is not meant to.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Mister Heckles from DOWNstairs.

 

[Cassie]

Do you guys still watch Friends?

 

[Dr Dave]

Mister Heckles from DOWNstairs.

Does it really matter?

 

[CaptainWacky]

Yes. Asshole.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

The walls have ears.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

That's Phoebe's grandmother, haunting people.

 

[Dershocka]

I will always watch friends.

SMELLY CAT.

 

[Loktar]

I will always watch friends.

SMELLY CAT.

Smelly cat, smelly cat
what are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat
Its not your fault.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Yes, we all know the song.

 

[CaptainWacky]

They won't take you to the vet,
You're obviously not their favourite pet,
It's not bed or roses,
You're no friend to those with noses.

I WIN FOR POSTING THE WHOLE THING AHAHAHA MONEY MONEY MONEY PHOEBE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN EVOLUTION

 

[Dr Dave]

You win nothing!

 

[Cassie]

He wins a smelly cat.