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New continuing Johnny Nose story

CaptainWacky

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
PROLOGUE

Johnny likes it on buses. They are meeting places, he tells himself. All kinds of different people come together on buses. Someday he'll meet someone on a bus. His future wife. The person who will "discover" him and his "talent". He doesn't actually know what that talent is yet, but he knows he has one.

He walks slowly down the aisle, looking at everyone as he does, not even trying to disguise the fact that he is. He sees a small, cute girl. He can't tell her age. Teenager? Probably. Too young for Johnny. Or maybe not. Maybe an impresonable teenager is what he needs. For some reason he thinks of a cat he used to have as a child, a cat that followed him around everywhere...he loved that cat.

He stops and looks right into the teenage girl's eyes. "You remind me of a cat I used to know," he says. He stays in front of her long enough to see the look of confusion on her face, but walks on before she can say anything.

He goes to the back of the bus and takes his seat. The back is the best place to sit, he decides. He can see everything from there. Everyone. He's in control at the back of the bus.
 
You'll have to search his posts, cause he writes a lot.
 
Cassie said:
You'll have to search his posts, cause he writes a lot.
Click to expand...

yeah, not gonna happen
i am talking about the little story thingie
he could put all those pieces together for a bigger story i bet
if he has more like that...
 
Yep, there are several Johnny Nose stories.
 
Johnny doesn't know where the bus is actually going. He doesn't know where he's getting off. It doesn't matter. He has nowhere to be anyway.

He notices the teenage girl trying to look back in his direction a few times. He smiles. He resists the urge to shout "YEAH, YOU BETTER LOOK, YOU LOOKING BITCH" at her. That is progress.

Nothing much happens. Not many people get on the bus and not many of them are interesting anyway. Johnny sighs. He looks out the window but there's nothing going on out there either.

"The state of this bus journey reflects the state of my life," says Johnny, out loud. No one even looks at him. "HITLER," he shouts. A few people look now. Johnny looks behind him too, as if it wasn't him that said it. Of course, he's at the very back of the bus, so he probably isn't fooling anyone.

The bus stops to let people off. A fat businessman sitting in front of Johnny is suddenly startled. He gets up, or tries to. He's so fat that he's wedged into his seat. He is sweating too. Johnny tries not to laugh. The man finally gets up and tries to run down the aisle, but can't move very fast. He misses his stop.

Johnny can't help but laugh. Loudly. Another man, in the seat on the opposite side of the aisle to where the fat man was, looks round.

"DID YOU SEE THAT FATTY?" says Johnny. "HE MISSED HIS STOP! BECAUSE HE'S SO FUCKING FAT!"

"You can't talk about people that way, you little bastard!" says the man.

"Little? I suppose everyone must look little compared to FATTY MCFAT down there! LAUGH OUT LOUD!"

"I'll punch your lights out!"

"No one says that!"

"What?"

"No one says they'll punch your lights out! It's not the kind of thing people say! IDIOT!"

"Right, that's it..."

The bus has stopped again. Being at the back, Johnny is next to the emergency exist. It's only to be used in emergencies, of course, but Johnny judges this as one. He throws open the emergency exit. The bus has just started moving again, but Johnny doesn't care. He jumps out, into the road. He runs behind the bus, as a car goes racing by.

"FUCK YOU, BUS FUCK, I'M JOHNNY FUCKING NOSE!" shouts Johnny at the bus, the angry man looking out the back window. The bus stops. "Shit," says Johnny. The driver is making his way to the back of the bus to see who opened the door. Johnny turns and runs. He doean't have any idea where he is. He feels alive.
 
good stuff
 
Johnny knows vaguely where he is. He knows which was to walk to get home, more or less. Sure, he won't be home for dinner. He won't even be home during the day. But he knows the way. He could try to get another bus, but he's already done the bus thing today. Best not to get greedy.

He walks and walks and walks, not really looking at anyone, not doing any Johnny Nose things. He suddenly doesn't feel like it. This happens sometimes. He'll just snap out of Johnny Nose mode and almost become...well, not normal. He'll never be that. Non-existant is more like it. As if he's just floating along, with no substance. He doesn't like it. He doesn't dislike it.

He passes some woods. Maybe he could run through the woods? Naked? That would be a Johnny Nose thing to do! He sees some children playing in the woods and decides not to run through the woods naked. It could get him into trouble.

He just walks and walks and walks. Some pretty girls pass and he does nothing. He doesn't even look over his shoulder at their asses. Maybe he really is bi-polar, he thinks, just like they said. Of course, they said a lot of things. A lot of different people have tried to tell Johnny what he is over the years. He doesn't think any of them are right.

"I NEED SOMETHING TO FUCKDAMN DOOOOOOO!" he shouts, as it starts to get dark.
 
I can't wait until Johnny Nose runs into Brent Spiner.
 
Make it so.
 
Johnny keeps walking. He's angry now. He isn't depressed anymore. He wants someone to talk to. Someone to freak out. He loves freaking people out. Hey, he's a freak, why shouldn't he? It's why he was put on the planet. Any person. It's dark now, he can't afford to be selective. Anyone...

A girl. There's a girl walking towards him. Slowly, uncertainly, but still a girl. The universe provides. Johnny doesn't believe in God, but sometiems he believes he IS God and he's creating and controlling reality all around him. He made the girl appear, he must have. She is for him. For him to do.

She's good looking. She's clutching her side for some reason. But she is good looking. "I WANT TO DO YOU!" says Johnny. She screams. She actually scream...and Johnny doesn't laugh. It's quite disturbing, actully. This is not the way he wants to freak people out. He wants people thinking he's a weirdo, not a sex offender.

"Get away from me, I've got pepper spray," she says, rummaging in her handbag. This is interesting. Johnny has never been pepper sprayed before.

"I didn't meant to scare you," says Johnny. "I'm not a sex pervert...I'm just a bit weird. Bi-polar or autistic or OCD or...something."

"Just get away from me..."

"What are you doing out so late? Going for a BOOTY CALL?"

"Fuck you!" She pulls pepper spray out of her bag and tries to spray it...nothing happens. She shakes it and tries to spray again. "Damn it..."

"You must spray a lot of guys of you're out!"

"Just let me pass..."

"Umm, okay." He steps aside. "Seriously, I'm...sorry. If I scared you. NIMMY NOOPS." He just had to add "NIMMY NOOPS" at the end, didn't he?

"Fine...bye..."

"Bye, bitch!" Johnny walks on, not even looking back at her once. Yeah, that was fun! Nimmy noops!

Someone else walks towards him. A man.

"Listen mate, did you a girl just walk by?"

"Uhh, what did she looks like?"

"She would have just come by, come on, it's late at night, nobody else is about, did you see her or not?"

"Uhh...your fists are bleeding." Johnny tries to think. The girl's face had looked fine...but she had been holding her side. Surely he couldn't have punched her so hard he bled though...

"Uhh, I had an accident...DID YOU SEE HER OR NOT?"

"I saw her naked, fuckstain!" And Johnny turns to run. But the man grabs him.
 
I hope Johnny kicks him in the nuts.
 
I hope the guy fucks Johnny Nose up(literally).
 
The man looks Johnny in the eyes. Johnn struggles, madly.

"COME ON THEN, SKANK ME, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO!" says Johnny.

"Skank you? What? You're a fucking retard!" The man knees Johnny in the gut. Johnny doubles over. He catches sight of the girl as he does, at the other end of the street, looking terrified. He tries to mentally tell her to run. The man lets go of Johnny and walks off. Johnny doesn't know if he saw the girl or not, but he's heading in her direction. Johnny does want to help, he really does.

But Johnny's not a hero. Besides, his gut hurts badly. He could phone for help, call the police, but he doesn't have a phone. He threw it down the toilet to prove a point to a girl in a wheelchair four days ago. He can't remember what the point was. He thinks now that it wasn't worth losing his phone.

He tries to stand and manages to, barely. He should just turn around and keep walking home. It's just a domestic. Maybe...maybe it wasn't as bad as it seemed. Maybe the girl hurt herself in some other way. Punching her in the side until his knuckles bled? That didn't seem likely. Who would do that?

But Johnny turns and walks in th direction he last saw the man going.
 
congrats, you managed to make a situation right out of 'COPS' seem to actually retain some dramatic value...
 
"I'm looking for a girl," Johnny reminds himself. He has been running through the dark streets for twenty minutes and hasn't seen the girl or the guy. "I'M LOOKING FOR A GIRL. I'M GOING TO BE A HERO. THEY'LL PUT ME ON THE COVER OF MAGAZINES. HERO MAGAZINES!"

He finds a girl, but it's not the one he's looking for. It's an old crack addict.

"Hi, crack addict," says Johnny.

"Uuurgh..." says the crack addict.

"Yeah, great banter," says Johnny. "Listen, I'm looking for a girl with a sore side...and a guy with bleeding knuckles...I think he's going to beat the shit out of her, so I'm going to save her...somehow."

"Uuurgh, you couldn't save a cold!" says the crack addict.

"I could so!"

"You cold sore!"

"What? You're not making any sense, not even for a crack addict."

"I saw a girl, hehe. I offered her some crack but she just kept running away."

"WAS SHE HOLDING HER SIDE?"

"I think so...my eyes are glazed over due to crack."

"KAY, THANKS, BYE!" Johnny runs. Then runs back. "Oh, which way did you say she went?"
 
Johnny should take the crack addict with him, then he can throw her at the guy with bloody knuckles. He'll never know the difference.
 
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