Ask Donovan anything

[Donovan]

or not, doesn't really matter because I'll volunteer some lengthy, pompous, pontificating lecture all the same whether you wanted it or not.

Soooo, you're pretty much fucked either way.

Oh yeah, I'll add several rambling sentences, sometimes with actual postscripts, indicating that I haven't run out of things to say. I also end every post with an ellipsis because I haven't finished blathering on.

I WILL NEVER HAVE FINISHED BLATHERING ON...WELCOME TO HELL. FUCK DANTE, FUCK MILTON, FUCK THE PARKMOUSE. I AM YOUR HOST, MISTER ROARKE.

PS. ...

 

[Cassie]

If I were an illegal alien, would you marry me so I could stay in the country?

Do you think it's creepy that I have an e-crush on you?

Do you have a cowlick?

If you do, is it the flippy kind?

Does the hair on the crown of your head spin to the left or the right?

Are you considering becoming a MF elitist scumbag?

Why can't we all just get along?

How do you eat an Oreo cookie?

 

[Cock]

do you want to be friends?

 

[Cock]

dis that make you uncomfortable?

 

[Donovan]

If I were an illegal alien, would you marry me so I could stay in the country?

That depends. Does your planet have cool laser guns and lightsaber-type weapons?

Do you think it's creepy that I have an e-crush on you?

No. Women are stimulated in the pleasure centers by conversation and communication, which is why so many place :"sense of humor" high on their list of desired traits. Plus, with the anonymity of the internet, one can imagine any physical traits to go along with an entertaining correspondent. So you could, in theory, be imagining me like that guy from *shudder* Twilight...

Do you have a cowlick?

Only once, to win a bet. Tasted really weird, but the cow still sends me birthday cards...

If you do, is it the flippy kind?

When my hair is short, it looks like an entire herd of bovines held me down and violated my head in a most unspeakable manner. My hair is very friendly; it stands up and waves at passersby.

Does the hair on the crown of your head spin to the left or the right?

It parts in the center and flows in feathery waves down both sides of my face...like Farrah only not dead.

Are you considering becoming a MF elitist scumbag?

I spend enough time in real life stopping in my tracks and yelling "Wait! Where the fuck AM I?" without having to do it online as well.

Why can't we all just get along?

Because if everyone shared hugs and valentines and fuzzywuzzy kisses all the time, this would be Shattered Corpse.

How do you eat an Oreo cookie?

I gently spread it apart, then caress the inner creamy goodness with my tongue, flicking and darting here and there, teasing, brushing ever so slightly until it goes almost mad with anticipation...wait, what were we talking about again?

 

[Donovan]

do you want to be friends?

Depends on how long it's been since my last Celexa or rum-and-coke.

 

[Donovan]

dis that make you uncomfortable?

I am uncomfortable only north/northwest. When the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.

 

[Kitty]

If handsaws could fly, would you train one to pick apples for you?

 

[Donovan]

If handsaws could fly, would you train one to pick apples for you?

No, I would train them to settle roadside disagreements for me in a quick and decisive manner.

 

[eloisel]

Where have you lived before that you would consider living again?

Do you like having sunshine on your shoulders? Does it almost make you cry?

Which do you appreciate more: the way a thing is made or the way a thing looks?

Which person would you most like to have a serious televised conversation with?

How brown is your dirt?

 

[Bickendan]

What prompted you to join TK full time?

 

[whisky]

Whats your favourite song at the moment?

 

[Yub]

Are you a god?

 

[Tisiphone]

Do you dream in color or black & white?

 

[Donovan]

Where have you lived before that you would consider living again?

I am more prone to being excited exploring new places I haven't yet been. Vermont or Maine seem nice. But I miss Oregon on a semi-weekly basis, so I guess that would be a good answer. Maybe extreme northern California.

Do you like having sunshine on your shoulders? Does it almost make you cry?

Occasionally, when the sun rises and sets over me, I get a little burn that itches and is uncomfortable. Price of being the center of the universe, I suppose.

Which do you appreciate more: the way a thing is made or the way a thing looks?

Although I strongly appreciate aesthetic value, I prefer substance over style. All the beauty in the world can't make up for poor function and broken inner works. And yes, that goes double for people.

Which person would you most like to have a serious televised conversation with?

I have a number of people I admire, mostly dead. As for the living, I have a belief that every person has at least one story in them to keep me interested. So it wouldn't really matter.

How brown is your dirt?

The dirt here is deep brown. Comes mostly from composted forest so it's pretty rich. Very rocky, so much so that entire houses were built from cobblestones found in tilled fields, back in the day. Very pretty to look at, wouldn't mind owning one. But I digress...

 

[Donovan]

Do you dream in color or black & white?

both, and three dimension although I always forget to put on the glasses before bed.

 

[Donovan]

What prompted you to join TK full time?

The restructuring of Medicaid forced the closure of my local mental hospital. I had nowhere else to go.

 

[Donovan]

Whats your favourite song at the moment?

Highly dependent on my mood. Last album I liked well enough to play many times in a row was Greenday's 21st Century Breakdown. But truthfully, I could never narrow it down to a single song.

When my computer died suddenly a few months ago, the reboot and fixing process cost me thousands of saved songs on my media player. Most were one-shots I'd found here and there, difficult to replace if not impossible. I was very upset about that.

But yesterday I suddenly remembered an MP-3 player I had laying around that had a bunch of those songs on it, that I hadn't seen or used in over a year. I found it by accident, charged it up and listened to it for hours last night. It was a great feeling and I was able to put the files back on my computer. It's about a hundredth of what I had before, but it's cherrypicked favorites instead of just whatever crap I had downloaded or ripped from my cd collection..


Although, to answer your original question, I do like "the Rodeo song." It's alwasy a favorite of mine when I'm irritated...

 

[Donovan]

Are you a god?

Once, when I was walking in the garden, it occured to me that knowledge was a useful thing to have. And if one could aqcuire knowledge quickly and easily, such as plucking it right off a tree and eating it like fruit, one should do just that. So that is what I did, and what I do.

I am not a god, but I am like them, and that's why they chucked us outta that garden. If I ever find the tree of immortality, there could be serious ramifications...

 

[Gagh]

What were the policies that worked against Thatcher the most during her last years in power?

Denise Van Outen?

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust, if Lillee don't get ya, Thommo must?

Sex?

Pie?

Furries?