Troll Kingdom

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My life has become such a sad state.

johnford

Fuck me silly
I almost don't know where to start, fellow trolls. I have always been so pathetic but believe it or not I have gotten worse so here is a list of things that have happened to me in the past year....

1) I have gained 500 lbs & now smell like moldy cottage cheese with green stuff growing on my ding a ling. Trust me, it's a jungle down there with the crabs,warts & such. The smell you just cannot believe. I vomit everyday because i can't tolerate the odor. I have been banished to my house of squallor because of it.

2) I live in a one room shack thats got collections of trash 8 feet high with cat shit everywhere. I roll around in that cat shit & pee to get rid of that odor i mentioned above. I have a skunk living in one corner & a rabid racoon in the other. I am thinking of going on Hoarders to have them clean up my mountain of garbage so i dont have too.

3) I have had multiple arrests for running out in traffic naked to which i have caused multiple accidents.

4) I was locked up in a mental hospital for a time due to my schizophrenia that makes me talk to myself incoherently in grocery stores.

5) Due to my horrible hygiene i am no longer allowed by law to go out in public as I may be a health hazzard to the planet.

6) I had sex with a light socket & needless to say I got a huge burn scar on my penis.


So many things have happened i just cannot believe i have left you all. You guys must of felt so lost without me.
 
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