I want sex, and I want it Now.

[Consumer]

I usually post this sort of thing in the Tea-room...however I feel like being a little crude.

I want sex. I want it now. I am a careful, skilled, creative, flexible, and attentive lover with "pleasing" dimensions and "exceptional" endurance when I am comfortable with someone. The phrases in quotes can be considered endorsements, as they were descriptions of me by ex-lovers. I also kiss well (and do it often), shower daily, brush my teeth more than once a day (and floss) and have a comfortable and clean apartment that we can make noise in if necessary. I'll happily cook breakfast in the morning and let you sleep in as you may be up for a good portion of the night.

I don't offer money or perks, but you might go home with a "goody bag" of an intimate toy or two and ripped lingerie. I'll walk you to the car and kiss you good-bye.

There. Match that. And (if you are female) why aren't you waiting for me when I get home?

I want sex. And I want it now.

 

[Cinch]

I need a teleporter! Harrumph!!!

 

[Consumer]

I want a girl who never says "No".

I want a woman who is wet and happy with the fact.

I want a woman in a dress or skirt because she's both feminine and slightly vulnerable, and always easily accessible.

I want to feel the slow "pulse" on my curled and tightly held fingers...after... (smile)

 

[I Love Cunt]

I fucking hate sex.

 

[FBI parte due]

Sex is gay.

 

[I Love Cunt]

Sex are for people who wear shoes.

 

[Consumer]

And don't waste cucumbers.

 

[Loktar]

Sex are for people who wear shoes.

Oh thats why I'm still a virgin. I walk around my house barefoot most of the time. Seriously.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Yes, that's probably why.

 

[Consumer]

See opening comment.

It's St. Patrick's day. I SHOULD be able to get laid. Meh.

Well...I can get laid. But not by anyone I WANT to get laid by. I'm too picky.

{open rant}
Why can't I just have sex for sex's sake, some empty, hedonistic/sensual experience where my skin is happy and my brain's off line? Why do I have to like them or think they are interesting and not just "hot"?!?!
{/close rant}

Oh, and I ran across the obituary of a very, very old friend (as in I was 8). They died in 1998. Talk about a strange feeling. I hate "Google" sometimes.

 

[Seph]

what a day, change it now, u have teh powwa!

 

[Consumer]

I can't bring back the dead.

I'm good, but I'm not THAT good.

 

[Seph]

Yes you are.

 

[Seph]

When why don't you call, why don't you write, you just tossed me asside for that Sun woman...(sob)

Well when it boils down to it your one hell of a man, but shes got lady parts.

 

[Consumer]

^ Yeah, can't argue with that.

 

[Cinch]

/has hot, sticky, wild monkey sex with you

/ook

 

[Seph]

!!!

 

[I Love Cunt]

I want a woman who is wet and happy with the fact.

?

Is there really a woman unhappy with being wet? This may be a rhetorical question with no need for an answer.

 

[The Tomtrek]

The Wicked Witch of the West.

 

[Loktar]

The mermaid from Splash.