I always just thought reality would change

[CaptainWacky]

reality doesn't work for me so surely if i wait long enough its nature will alter

 

[CaptainWacky]

remember when i spammed at the speed of light to slow down the passage of time?

 

[CaptainWacky]

that was 11 years ago

 

[CaptainWacky]

it might have slowed the passage of time for a moment but it ended

 

[CaptainWacky]

i probably should have been happy for those eleven years

 

[CaptainWacky]

since i should have logically known that i was better off then than i would be eleven years later

 

[CaptainWacky]

but i just kept thinking "just going to die" and always will

 

[CaptainWacky]

I remember being a child and thinking properly about the concept of death for the first time and being so utterly terrified that i think it just crippled my mind in a way i'll never recover from (but it doens't matter if i do because i'm just going to die)

 

[CaptainWacky]

at least i can leave posts on a message board behind. no children or anything but at least there's thsi!

 

[CaptainWacky]

do youthink you die every time you go to sleep? like the person you are ceases to be and the person who wakes up the next day just has the same memories

 

[CaptainWacky]

but at least they have memories. we need to find a way to upload memories to somekind of "memory thing" yeah that's the new lie about reality i'll tell myself

 

[CaptainWacky]

imagine you're just sitting there spamming the mf and then you die right as you type this. that woildn't be very satisfying.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I know at least i Had it good for a while. I have it better than a lot of people all over the world.

 

[CaptainWacky]

that doesn't actually make me feel better! knowing that other people are suffering doesn't make me happy!

 

[CaptainWacky]

i'd rather have time travel than that memory thing

 

[CaptainWacky]

aliens who fix everything would be good too. hey, if you're a super advanced alien monitoring all earth communication and you're reading this: please fix everything..NOW

 

[CaptainWacky]

I don't think they did it.

 

[CaptainWacky]

that doesn't actually make me feel better! knowing that other people are suffering doesn't make me happy!

And i know it's really arrogant to think reality's going to change for ME to stop bad things happening to ME when bad things happen to everyone every day, but I think everyone is self centered since myself is the only person i can ever truly know. And I thought when reality change for me I could undo all the bad things for other people as wel, maybe!

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

I still plan parts of my life based on winning the lottery.

We all do what we need to do to get through the day. Why else would God have invented porn? I mean Mario?

 

[CaptainWacky]

"Well I let babies be born with AIDS and children be blown up at pop concerts and I'm going to allow the nuclear war that's about to happen, but yes I WILL change reality just because CaptainWacky can't face life!" - God, probably