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3 Strike nocturnal masturbation policy

Wow...this place has indeed sunk low, if this dipshit's "let's talk about my fake masturbation 'policies' garners such a response.

How the mighty have fallen.

Fuck all of you!

D
 
godkillskittenah8.jpg
 
wizer said:
To the guys on this forum who jack off too much, I offer this:

I have a "three-strike and you are out" policy of masturbating in a month, and I have a nocturnal masturbation policy where I pay myself $2.00 coupons if I don't masturbate while sleeping, plus $5.00 bonus coupons if I struggle not to masturbate.

Nocturnal masturbation is a relaxed policy I have that basically uses masturbation as a sleeping pill if I cant sleep. The concept is if I masturbate I'll knock myself out and fall asleep if I have insomnia or something like that. It's usually 80% effective, but I usually try to find other ways of falling asleep (to get the $5.00 coupon).
Click to expand...

LMFAO!

Seriously....

*catches breath*

That's some funny shit.

SHIT WAS SO CASH!
 
Darkside said:
Wow...this place has indeed sunk low, if this dipshit's "let's talk about my fake masturbation 'policies' garners such a response.

How the mighty have fallen.

Fuck all of you!

D
Click to expand...

Um..it's not "fake". Unless the guy who originally posted it is the greatest troll of all time and has a lot of time to waste. He goes on and on for literally 1000s of posts like this...they get much, much worse than what I posted here on this thread. It has been speculated by many that he has Aspergers, which is like an adult form of autism.

I would bet my bottom dollar the guy is real. Over on my board I have copied over some of the weirdest, wackiest, and most entertaining of all his posts. It's even better than what I posted here.
 
wizer said:
That was a FANTASTIC description..however you didn't answer the question correctly because I was looking for your favorite way and you gave several. You will have to be punished for that...

I think the punishment should fit the crime, so you will use my penis as a substitute for whatever you were using in the above narrative. What night is good for you next week? My schedule is open...
Click to expand...
Do you know when you're well off, Wizer? You conned her into giving you some fucking candy, and then you want to punish her?
 
Conchaga said:
Anything involving confessions of a fleshlight = solid gold.
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Not only does he admit using it, he goes into explicit detail of his first masturbatory experience with the fleshlite, and even describes how he goes about cleaning the thing when he's done. The purpose of his thread was to ask others if they thought it was "realistic enough" to prepare him for real sex..as compared to just using his hands. He's never been with a woman, he's mid 30s, and lives with his parents..who tell him what to do, when to do it, and how to do it.

I find this dude..fascinating. Its like getting inside the mind of a madman.
 
I have not read the thread yet,
but
there was this time
in the front seat
of his truck
when he
stuck
a cold metal object
inside
and brought it
in and out
slowly
then
quicker
bringing
me
to
orgasm
all over
his
red shiny flashlight
 
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