CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
When Jimmy the Hood realised that he could only feel half his mouth he told his mother, who didn't quite know what to say and asked him to stop going out at all hours of the night and suggest that maybe he'd caught a chill down half his body by doing so.
"Oh shut up Mother you don't understand, I'm a Hood, I have to go out at night and defy the law, it's how I roll, what's for dinner?" said Jimmy. His mother sighed and went to make fish fingers and chips because Jimmy had a poorly developed pallete and would only eat meals such as that.
There was a knock on the door and Jimmy went to answer it. Officer McNally stood there. Jimmy was terrified. Had his hoodish ways been discovered?
"Hello Jimmy, is your mother home?" ask the good constable.
"She's cooking fish fingers," said Jimmy.
"I really need to speak to her," said McNally.
"MUM, MCNALLY'S AT THE DOOR," shouted Jimmy.
"Hello, what seems to be the prolem?" said his mother.
"MISSUS FRIEND? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR PROSTITUTION. YOU SLAAAAAG!" said McNally, hand-cuffing her roughly.
"No, no!" said his mother.
"Mummy!?" said Jimmy, feeling nothing but terror.
"I'm sorry!" she said. "We were so poor, I had to sleep with 458 men this month alone just to pay the bills...I'm sorry!"
"SHUT YERR TRAP, PERP," said McNally, and he punched her in the ribs. Jimmy wanted to attack McNally and free his mother, but he was paralysed by shock.
"Make sure the fish fingers don't burn!" said his mother.
Jimmy found himself alone. He still couldn't feel the left side of his mouth.
The fish fingers were good. He settled down to watch tv, trying not to think about anything.
It was at this point that his feet exploded.
TO BE DISCONTINUED
"Oh shut up Mother you don't understand, I'm a Hood, I have to go out at night and defy the law, it's how I roll, what's for dinner?" said Jimmy. His mother sighed and went to make fish fingers and chips because Jimmy had a poorly developed pallete and would only eat meals such as that.
There was a knock on the door and Jimmy went to answer it. Officer McNally stood there. Jimmy was terrified. Had his hoodish ways been discovered?
"Hello Jimmy, is your mother home?" ask the good constable.
"She's cooking fish fingers," said Jimmy.
"I really need to speak to her," said McNally.
"MUM, MCNALLY'S AT THE DOOR," shouted Jimmy.
"Hello, what seems to be the prolem?" said his mother.
"MISSUS FRIEND? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR PROSTITUTION. YOU SLAAAAAG!" said McNally, hand-cuffing her roughly.
"No, no!" said his mother.
"Mummy!?" said Jimmy, feeling nothing but terror.
"I'm sorry!" she said. "We were so poor, I had to sleep with 458 men this month alone just to pay the bills...I'm sorry!"
"SHUT YERR TRAP, PERP," said McNally, and he punched her in the ribs. Jimmy wanted to attack McNally and free his mother, but he was paralysed by shock.
"Make sure the fish fingers don't burn!" said his mother.
Jimmy found himself alone. He still couldn't feel the left side of his mouth.
The fish fingers were good. He settled down to watch tv, trying not to think about anything.
It was at this point that his feet exploded.
TO BE DISCONTINUED
