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A new continuing story
- Thread starter CaptainWacky
- Start date
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
The Fellowship scattered as the eagles attack. Legolas took out his bow and strung an arrow then fired it right into the eye of one of the eagles.
"YEAH, KILL THE WINGED BASTARDS!" said Sam.
"This is strange," said Gandalf. "The eagles are supposed to be on our side! Unless...these are really shapeshifting ghouls in the shape of eagles!"
"SO YOU WORKED IT OUT," boomed Saruman. "Very good, old friend, but you will not get past them!"
The eagles all landed in front of the fellowship then transformed into BIG MONSTER THINGS, blocked the way between the Fellowship and Saruman, Bilbo and Saddam.
"Now then," said Saruman, "do you, Saddam Glyn Hussien take this man Bilbo Baggins to be your lawful wedded wife?"
"INDEEDY-DO!" said Saddam, a manic grin on his face. The Fellowship hacked at the monsters but they would not move.
"And do you, Bilbo Baggins, take this man Saddam Glyn Hussien to be YOUR lawful wedded husband?"
"Don't do it, uncle, it's a trick!" shouted Frodo. Bored, Merry and Pippin had went back to fucking each other like crazy.
"I...I...I," said Bilbo, fighting something inside.
"Yes?" said Saruman.
"I...I...I SAY YOU CAN KISS MY HAIRY HOBBIT ASS, FAGGOT!" said Bilbo.
"YAY!" cheered Legolas.
"Those words have given me the strength to do this!" said Gandalf, driving his staff into the ground and send the monsters flying in a hail of fire.
"No, no!" said Saruman. "YOU BASTARDFUCK! I'll...I'll...I'll do THIS!" and he drove his great staff into the ground and it did break asunder and the entire tower started to sway.
"FLY YOU FOOLS!" said Gandalf.
"Umm, we can't," said Pippin.
"RUN THEN!" said Gandalf, as the tower started to collapse.
"YEAH, KILL THE WINGED BASTARDS!" said Sam.
"This is strange," said Gandalf. "The eagles are supposed to be on our side! Unless...these are really shapeshifting ghouls in the shape of eagles!"
"SO YOU WORKED IT OUT," boomed Saruman. "Very good, old friend, but you will not get past them!"
The eagles all landed in front of the fellowship then transformed into BIG MONSTER THINGS, blocked the way between the Fellowship and Saruman, Bilbo and Saddam.
"Now then," said Saruman, "do you, Saddam Glyn Hussien take this man Bilbo Baggins to be your lawful wedded wife?"
"INDEEDY-DO!" said Saddam, a manic grin on his face. The Fellowship hacked at the monsters but they would not move.
"And do you, Bilbo Baggins, take this man Saddam Glyn Hussien to be YOUR lawful wedded husband?"
"Don't do it, uncle, it's a trick!" shouted Frodo. Bored, Merry and Pippin had went back to fucking each other like crazy.
"I...I...I," said Bilbo, fighting something inside.
"Yes?" said Saruman.
"I...I...I SAY YOU CAN KISS MY HAIRY HOBBIT ASS, FAGGOT!" said Bilbo.
"YAY!" cheered Legolas.
"Those words have given me the strength to do this!" said Gandalf, driving his staff into the ground and send the monsters flying in a hail of fire.
"No, no!" said Saruman. "YOU BASTARDFUCK! I'll...I'll...I'll do THIS!" and he drove his great staff into the ground and it did break asunder and the entire tower started to sway.
"FLY YOU FOOLS!" said Gandalf.
"Umm, we can't," said Pippin.
"RUN THEN!" said Gandalf, as the tower started to collapse.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
The Fellowship ran down the stairs as the tower collapsed around them. It was all VERY EXCITING and full of SUH-WEET FX!
"We made it!" said Frodo, after they made it out.
"Yep!" said Sam, for no reason.
"I can't believe I was going to marry him!" said Bilbo.
"Lucky you broke Saruman's spell!" said Gimli.
"Huh?" said Bilbo, confused. "That's not why I stopped the wedding. I stopped because I noticed Saddam and Saruman had cum stains on their robes! They've been shagging!"
"I noticed too," said Gandalf, lying.
"BUT DID YOU NOTICED THIS!?" said Saruman brandishing a sword, fllying towards Gandalf on a WINGED HORSE, Saddam riding on the back, his penis standing erect and proud.
"NOOOOO!" screamed Aragorn, jumping in front of Gandalf. Saruman drove his sword deep into Aragorn's chest.
"NOOOOOOOO!" said Merry, as Pippin demanded his swallow.
Legolas fired arrows at Saruman as he flew away but they all missed and hit random innocent birds, killing them.
"You monster!" said Sam.
"Help...me...urgh!" said Aragorn, as he died.
"Shit!" said Gandalf.
"We made it!" said Frodo, after they made it out.
"Yep!" said Sam, for no reason.
"I can't believe I was going to marry him!" said Bilbo.
"Lucky you broke Saruman's spell!" said Gimli.
"Huh?" said Bilbo, confused. "That's not why I stopped the wedding. I stopped because I noticed Saddam and Saruman had cum stains on their robes! They've been shagging!"
"I noticed too," said Gandalf, lying.
"BUT DID YOU NOTICED THIS!?" said Saruman brandishing a sword, fllying towards Gandalf on a WINGED HORSE, Saddam riding on the back, his penis standing erect and proud.
"NOOOOO!" screamed Aragorn, jumping in front of Gandalf. Saruman drove his sword deep into Aragorn's chest.
"NOOOOOOOO!" said Merry, as Pippin demanded his swallow.
Legolas fired arrows at Saruman as he flew away but they all missed and hit random innocent birds, killing them.
"You monster!" said Sam.
"Help...me...urgh!" said Aragorn, as he died.
"Shit!" said Gandalf.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"Wait!" said Legolas. "There's still a way to save Aragorn!"
"What are these LIES of which you speak, so-called friend elf!" said Gimli, angry. "Or should I perhaps say FOE elf, for foe you are if lie you do!"
"I'm not lying you short bastard!" said Legolas. "If we hunted down and kill the golden bear that lives in Fangorn Forest, we can use its blood to heal Aragorn of all earthly wounds!"
"This is true!" said Gandalf, snapping to attention. "I just remembered!"
"Not much of a wizard, are you, if you need reminding by an elf!" said Sam.
"HOLD YOUR TONGUE GAMGEE OR I'LL HOLD YOU BY THE PENIS," said Gandalf.
"Err, shouldn't we be hurrying?" asked Frodo. "Aragorn looks pretty dead."
"How about if me and Pippin go to Fangorn?" asked Merry.
"Yeah, we know the way around," said Pippin.
"You two are just looking for an excuse to shag again!" said Frodo.
"We're all going," said Gandalf, decisively. "I'll take Aragorn's body in my hat." He put Aragorn's body in his hate using magic. "NOW WE RIDE!"
And ride they did! Until they were stopped by the Rider's of Rohan!
"Well met, Riders of Rohan!" said Gandalf. "What business do you have with the Fellowship of the wedding ring?"
"WE ARE HERE TO KILL THE ONE NAMED BILBO BAGGINS!" said Eomer.
"Me!?" said Bilbo.
"That's right! You burned down my kitchen!" siad Eomer.
"Oh yeah!" said Bilbo. "Saddam bet me I wouldn't do it, so I went and did it! But I didn't mean to, I was under Saruman's thrall!"
"No excuse!" said Eomer. "DIEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Here we go again!" said Frodo.
"What are these LIES of which you speak, so-called friend elf!" said Gimli, angry. "Or should I perhaps say FOE elf, for foe you are if lie you do!"
"I'm not lying you short bastard!" said Legolas. "If we hunted down and kill the golden bear that lives in Fangorn Forest, we can use its blood to heal Aragorn of all earthly wounds!"
"This is true!" said Gandalf, snapping to attention. "I just remembered!"
"Not much of a wizard, are you, if you need reminding by an elf!" said Sam.
"HOLD YOUR TONGUE GAMGEE OR I'LL HOLD YOU BY THE PENIS," said Gandalf.
"Err, shouldn't we be hurrying?" asked Frodo. "Aragorn looks pretty dead."
"How about if me and Pippin go to Fangorn?" asked Merry.
"Yeah, we know the way around," said Pippin.
"You two are just looking for an excuse to shag again!" said Frodo.
"We're all going," said Gandalf, decisively. "I'll take Aragorn's body in my hat." He put Aragorn's body in his hate using magic. "NOW WE RIDE!"
And ride they did! Until they were stopped by the Rider's of Rohan!
"Well met, Riders of Rohan!" said Gandalf. "What business do you have with the Fellowship of the wedding ring?"
"WE ARE HERE TO KILL THE ONE NAMED BILBO BAGGINS!" said Eomer.
"Me!?" said Bilbo.
"That's right! You burned down my kitchen!" siad Eomer.
"Oh yeah!" said Bilbo. "Saddam bet me I wouldn't do it, so I went and did it! But I didn't mean to, I was under Saruman's thrall!"
"No excuse!" said Eomer. "DIEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Here we go again!" said Frodo.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"WAIT!" said Gandalf. "If you let him love I'll give you a sensual massage."
Eomer stopped. "Well, I do like sensual massages," he said. "Okay, what the hell!"
"The rest of you go on," Gandalf instructed the Fellowship. "This may take a while."
And so they rode on deep into Fangorn Forest.
"Where is this golden bear anyway?" asked Frodo.
"Umm, I think it lives in a cave or something," said Legolas.
"Ah, the golden bear cave, I remember that!" said Pippin, fondling Merry's thighs. "It's over there!"
"Where?" asked Bilbo?
"THERE!" said Merry, pointing at a cave...the entranced to which was blocked by a sleeping Treebeard!
"Oh noes, Treebeard!" said Gimli.
"I suppose we'll just have to wake him up," said Frodo. "How about you do it, Sam?"
"I ain't wakin' up no big angry tree!" said Samwise.
"Fine, I'll do it," said Legolas, putting an arrow in his bow and drawing back the string.
"WAIT!" said Pippin. "He's our friend! Surely we should just ask him to move?"
"Yes, you're probably...shit!" said Legolas, who had accidently released the string and shot Treebeard right in the beard with an arrow.
"HROOOM HROOOM!" said Treebeard, as he woke. "WHO DARES DISTURB THE SLEEP OF THE SHEPARD OF THE TREES?"
"It was him!" said Legolast, pointing at Sam.
"Oy, no it wasn't!" said Sam. Treebeard grabbed Sam and put him in his mouth.
"Sam!" cried Frodo. "You coward Legolas! How are we going to get out of this one!?"
Everyone looked around for a while, as Treebeard just stood there with Sam in his mouth.
"Umm...we could tickle Treebeard?" suggested Bilbo.
"Tickle his balls, tee hee!" said Pippin, running at Treebeard and climbing up his massive leg, humping at as he did so.
"GET OFF MY WOODEN BALLS, LITTLE ORC!" said Treebeard and he grabbed Pippin and put him in his mouth too!
"Umm..." said Bilbo. "How about we set him on fire?"
TO BE CONTINUED
Eomer stopped. "Well, I do like sensual massages," he said. "Okay, what the hell!"
"The rest of you go on," Gandalf instructed the Fellowship. "This may take a while."
And so they rode on deep into Fangorn Forest.
"Where is this golden bear anyway?" asked Frodo.
"Umm, I think it lives in a cave or something," said Legolas.
"Ah, the golden bear cave, I remember that!" said Pippin, fondling Merry's thighs. "It's over there!"
"Where?" asked Bilbo?
"THERE!" said Merry, pointing at a cave...the entranced to which was blocked by a sleeping Treebeard!
"Oh noes, Treebeard!" said Gimli.
"I suppose we'll just have to wake him up," said Frodo. "How about you do it, Sam?"
"I ain't wakin' up no big angry tree!" said Samwise.
"Fine, I'll do it," said Legolas, putting an arrow in his bow and drawing back the string.
"WAIT!" said Pippin. "He's our friend! Surely we should just ask him to move?"
"Yes, you're probably...shit!" said Legolas, who had accidently released the string and shot Treebeard right in the beard with an arrow.
"HROOOM HROOOM!" said Treebeard, as he woke. "WHO DARES DISTURB THE SLEEP OF THE SHEPARD OF THE TREES?"
"It was him!" said Legolast, pointing at Sam.
"Oy, no it wasn't!" said Sam. Treebeard grabbed Sam and put him in his mouth.
"Sam!" cried Frodo. "You coward Legolas! How are we going to get out of this one!?"
Everyone looked around for a while, as Treebeard just stood there with Sam in his mouth.
"Umm...we could tickle Treebeard?" suggested Bilbo.
"Tickle his balls, tee hee!" said Pippin, running at Treebeard and climbing up his massive leg, humping at as he did so.
"GET OFF MY WOODEN BALLS, LITTLE ORC!" said Treebeard and he grabbed Pippin and put him in his mouth too!
"Umm..." said Bilbo. "How about we set him on fire?"
TO BE CONTINUED
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"HROOM HROOM!" said Treebeard and he spat Sam and Pippin out. "THEY DIDN'T TASTE SO GOOD, HROOM HROOM!"
"Treebeard!" said Frodo. "We're looking for the golden bear. Have you seen it?"
"WHY SHOUD I TELL YOU, HOOM HOOM, LITTLE ORCSES?" asked Treebeard.
"Oh for fuck's sake, we're not orcs!" said Legolas, annoyed. "We don't even look like orcs!"
"A-HOOM, NOBODY SWEARS IN MY PRESENCE," said Treebeard. "I WILL KILLETH THOU!" But before Treebeard could do anything, Gandalf and Eomer rode in with FLAMING BRANDS.
"Stand back, you devilish tree!" said Gandalf.
"Well met, Gandalf the grey!" said Gimli. "I thought the massage would take longer!"
"He finished me off quickly," said Eomer.
"Yeah, Merry has that problem," said Pippin.
"Oy!" said Merry, elbowing Pippin.
"HROOM HROOM!" said Treebeard. "IF YOU REALLY WANT THE GOLDEN BEAR THEN HE IS RESTING IN THAT CAVE. BUT BE WARNEDED! HE IS HUNGRY. HUNGRY FOR MAN FLESH, A-HOOM, A-HOOM! I'M COOKING AN EGG FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME!"
"Oh shut up!" said Legolas.
"NOW WE RIDE!" said Gandalf and they rode to the golden bear's cave. Which wasn't actually very far. The Fellowship and Eomer entered the dark cave.
"It's dark," said Sam.
"No shit, Samlock!" said Frodo.
"Where is this bear...ARGH!" said Eomer.
"Where is this bear argh? What does that mean?" asked Gimli. But Eomer was gone, he had been grabbed by a pair of golden paws and dragged off into the dark.
"The bear got him!" said Sam.
"We must be careful!" said Gandalf. "Merry, Pippin, stop humping."
"But we might be about to die!" protested Pippin.
"Yeah come on Gandalf, let us get one hump in before we're eaten by the bear!" said Merry. Gandalf rolled his eyes below his prominent brows.
"Maybe we need some LIGHT!" said Bilbo and suddely the cave lit up.
"How did you do that!?" asked Gandalf.
"Oh, I picked up some magic from Saruman while he had me under his thrall!" said Bilbo.
"Good hobbit!" said Gandalf, mussing up Bilbo's hair and laughing. "NOW WE SEARCH!"
And search they did, until they came to the golden bear's kitchen...where Eomer was trapped inside a big pot.
"Hurry!" said Eomoer. "He's gone to fetch the spices!"
TO BE CONTINUED
"Treebeard!" said Frodo. "We're looking for the golden bear. Have you seen it?"
"WHY SHOUD I TELL YOU, HOOM HOOM, LITTLE ORCSES?" asked Treebeard.
"Oh for fuck's sake, we're not orcs!" said Legolas, annoyed. "We don't even look like orcs!"
"A-HOOM, NOBODY SWEARS IN MY PRESENCE," said Treebeard. "I WILL KILLETH THOU!" But before Treebeard could do anything, Gandalf and Eomer rode in with FLAMING BRANDS.
"Stand back, you devilish tree!" said Gandalf.
"Well met, Gandalf the grey!" said Gimli. "I thought the massage would take longer!"
"He finished me off quickly," said Eomer.
"Yeah, Merry has that problem," said Pippin.
"Oy!" said Merry, elbowing Pippin.
"HROOM HROOM!" said Treebeard. "IF YOU REALLY WANT THE GOLDEN BEAR THEN HE IS RESTING IN THAT CAVE. BUT BE WARNEDED! HE IS HUNGRY. HUNGRY FOR MAN FLESH, A-HOOM, A-HOOM! I'M COOKING AN EGG FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME!"
"Oh shut up!" said Legolas.
"NOW WE RIDE!" said Gandalf and they rode to the golden bear's cave. Which wasn't actually very far. The Fellowship and Eomer entered the dark cave.
"It's dark," said Sam.
"No shit, Samlock!" said Frodo.
"Where is this bear...ARGH!" said Eomer.
"Where is this bear argh? What does that mean?" asked Gimli. But Eomer was gone, he had been grabbed by a pair of golden paws and dragged off into the dark.
"The bear got him!" said Sam.
"We must be careful!" said Gandalf. "Merry, Pippin, stop humping."
"But we might be about to die!" protested Pippin.
"Yeah come on Gandalf, let us get one hump in before we're eaten by the bear!" said Merry. Gandalf rolled his eyes below his prominent brows.
"Maybe we need some LIGHT!" said Bilbo and suddely the cave lit up.
"How did you do that!?" asked Gandalf.
"Oh, I picked up some magic from Saruman while he had me under his thrall!" said Bilbo.
"Good hobbit!" said Gandalf, mussing up Bilbo's hair and laughing. "NOW WE SEARCH!"
And search they did, until they came to the golden bear's kitchen...where Eomer was trapped inside a big pot.
"Hurry!" said Eomoer. "He's gone to fetch the spices!"
TO BE CONTINUED
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
They dragged Eomer out of the big pot.
"Now let's get out of here!" said Bilbo.
"Umm, we have to catch the bear to save Aragorn," said Frodo.
"Oh yeah," said Bilbo. "I forgot about that."
"Me too!" said Sam.
"How are we going to do it, Gandalf?" asked Pippin, while rimming Merry's asshole.
"Well I think we'll...OH SHIT, THE BEAR IS HERE!" said Gandalf.
"Huh? That makes no sense. Mmm, I love the feeling of a tongue up my ass!" said Merry.
The bear had returned to the kitchen.
"WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING IN HERE!?" asked the Golden Bear.
"It can talk!? What manner of wizardry is this!" said Gimli.
"FUCK YOU, OF COURSE I CAN TALK! I'M NOT STUPID!" said the bear.
"We're here for your blood," said Legolas. "We need it to heal our friend Aragorn."
"Oh, why didn't you says so!" said the bear, reaching into his cupboard.
"HE'S GOING FOR A GUN!" said Sam, panicking.
"No I'm not!" laughed the bear. "Here's a jar of my blood. You can use that to heal your friend. Run along now!"
"Err, thanks," said Frodo. Gandalf took the jar of blood and they exited the cave.
"Well, that was easy," said Eomer. I...OH NOES, SARUMAN AND SADDAM HUSSIEN IN A TANK!"
And, indeed, outside the cave Treebeard was lying dead in a pool of his own sap and Saruman and Saddam were in a tank with the cannon aimed at the Fellowshp.
"I BELIEVE BILBO WILL BE MARRYING SADDAM NOW," said Saruman. "OR I'LL BLOW YOU AWAY!"
TO BE CONTINUED
"Now let's get out of here!" said Bilbo.
"Umm, we have to catch the bear to save Aragorn," said Frodo.
"Oh yeah," said Bilbo. "I forgot about that."
"Me too!" said Sam.
"How are we going to do it, Gandalf?" asked Pippin, while rimming Merry's asshole.
"Well I think we'll...OH SHIT, THE BEAR IS HERE!" said Gandalf.
"Huh? That makes no sense. Mmm, I love the feeling of a tongue up my ass!" said Merry.
The bear had returned to the kitchen.
"WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING IN HERE!?" asked the Golden Bear.
"It can talk!? What manner of wizardry is this!" said Gimli.
"FUCK YOU, OF COURSE I CAN TALK! I'M NOT STUPID!" said the bear.
"We're here for your blood," said Legolas. "We need it to heal our friend Aragorn."
"Oh, why didn't you says so!" said the bear, reaching into his cupboard.
"HE'S GOING FOR A GUN!" said Sam, panicking.
"No I'm not!" laughed the bear. "Here's a jar of my blood. You can use that to heal your friend. Run along now!"
"Err, thanks," said Frodo. Gandalf took the jar of blood and they exited the cave.
"Well, that was easy," said Eomer. I...OH NOES, SARUMAN AND SADDAM HUSSIEN IN A TANK!"
And, indeed, outside the cave Treebeard was lying dead in a pool of his own sap and Saruman and Saddam were in a tank with the cannon aimed at the Fellowshp.
"I BELIEVE BILBO WILL BE MARRYING SADDAM NOW," said Saruman. "OR I'LL BLOW YOU AWAY!"
TO BE CONTINUED
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"I won't do it!" said Bilbo.
"THEN I'LL BLOW YOU AWAY," said Saruman.
"He's bluffing!" said Pippin, licking his fingers after removing them from Merry's ass.
"OH REALLY"? said Saruman, firing the tank's cannon into Eomer, blowing him away.
"Umm, maybe not, Pip," said Merry.
"I guess I'll be marrying Saddam then," said Bilbo, sadly.
"STAY YOUR TONGUE, BAGGINS!" said Gandalf. "If you marry Saddam then the very gates of Hell will open and Satan's legions will consume all that is fair upon God's green Earth. I will not let that happen. I will let the members of this Fellowship die before I let that happen!"
"Speak for yourself!" said Legolas, hiding behind a tree.
"Hey, don't hide behind me, I don't want to be shot!" said the tree, an Ent.
"COWARDLY ELF!" said Gimli, wrestling with Leoglas. As this was going on and Saruman was distracted, Gandalf poured the Golden Bear's blood over Aragorn's body. Aragorn stood up, rubbing his eyes.
"Was I asleep?" he said.
"ARAGORN, YOU CAN STOP SARUMAN'S TANK!" boomed Gandalf.
"Kill him, Saruman, dude!" said Saddam. Saruman aimed at Aragorn and fired, but the King of Gondor lept out of the way deftly and pounced right into the tank. He held his sword andruil at Saruman's throat.
"Ah shit," said Saruman.
"Hurrah!" said Frodo. "Finally we've come out on top!"
"HAVE YOU NOW?" said a voice from above. Everyone looked up. It was Wormtongue. And he was thirty feet tall!
TO BE CONTINUED
"THEN I'LL BLOW YOU AWAY," said Saruman.
"He's bluffing!" said Pippin, licking his fingers after removing them from Merry's ass.
"OH REALLY"? said Saruman, firing the tank's cannon into Eomer, blowing him away.
"Umm, maybe not, Pip," said Merry.
"I guess I'll be marrying Saddam then," said Bilbo, sadly.
"STAY YOUR TONGUE, BAGGINS!" said Gandalf. "If you marry Saddam then the very gates of Hell will open and Satan's legions will consume all that is fair upon God's green Earth. I will not let that happen. I will let the members of this Fellowship die before I let that happen!"
"Speak for yourself!" said Legolas, hiding behind a tree.
"Hey, don't hide behind me, I don't want to be shot!" said the tree, an Ent.
"COWARDLY ELF!" said Gimli, wrestling with Leoglas. As this was going on and Saruman was distracted, Gandalf poured the Golden Bear's blood over Aragorn's body. Aragorn stood up, rubbing his eyes.
"Was I asleep?" he said.
"ARAGORN, YOU CAN STOP SARUMAN'S TANK!" boomed Gandalf.
"Kill him, Saruman, dude!" said Saddam. Saruman aimed at Aragorn and fired, but the King of Gondor lept out of the way deftly and pounced right into the tank. He held his sword andruil at Saruman's throat.
"Ah shit," said Saruman.
"Hurrah!" said Frodo. "Finally we've come out on top!"
"HAVE YOU NOW?" said a voice from above. Everyone looked up. It was Wormtongue. And he was thirty feet tall!
TO BE CONTINUED
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"Hahahaha!" laughed Saruman. "You didn't bet on my Giant Wormtongue back-up, did you!?"
"Umm, no, we didn't," admitted Frodo.
"BY GONE, GIANT!" said Gandalf, holding up his staff. But Giant Wormtongue paid no heed. He kept stomping on trees.
"No, many of those trees are Ents!" said Legolas.
"They're DEAD ENTS now!" said Saruman. "Release me or I'll have Giant Wormtongue stomp you into the earth!"
Relunctantly, Aragorm let Saruman and Saddam go.
"I'm still not marrying you!" said Bilbo, defiantly.
"Fine," said Saruman. "In that case I'll just have GIANT WORMTONGUE STOMP YOU INTO THE EARTH!"
Giant Wormtongue STOMPED near the Fellowship. They all jumping out the way.
"His feet are huge, by gosh!" said Sam.
"Merry, maybe you should tickle him?" said Pippin.
"This is no time for sex games!" said Merry, angry.
"Yes, target the foot, good idea!" said Gandalf, looking to Legolas, who nodded.
Giant Wormtongue lifted his foot to stomp it down again, but before he could do so Legolas shot him in the sole of the foot with an arrow!"
"OUCH!" said Giant Wormtongue, hopping mad. He tripped over some trees and crashed down, taking out more of the forest.
"Err, I think he killed a few more Ents there," said Gimli.
"Oh well, that's TREE way it goes!" punned Legolas.
"HAHAHAHA!" laughed Saruman. "I've used the distraction to kidnap Bilbo. Now I will forced him to marry Saddam...again! And there's no stopping me...again!"
Saruman rode away in his tank with Bilbo and Saddam with the Fellowship in hot pursuit.
"I hope this ends soon, I'm hungry," said Sam.
"Umm, no, we didn't," admitted Frodo.
"BY GONE, GIANT!" said Gandalf, holding up his staff. But Giant Wormtongue paid no heed. He kept stomping on trees.
"No, many of those trees are Ents!" said Legolas.
"They're DEAD ENTS now!" said Saruman. "Release me or I'll have Giant Wormtongue stomp you into the earth!"
Relunctantly, Aragorm let Saruman and Saddam go.
"I'm still not marrying you!" said Bilbo, defiantly.
"Fine," said Saruman. "In that case I'll just have GIANT WORMTONGUE STOMP YOU INTO THE EARTH!"
Giant Wormtongue STOMPED near the Fellowship. They all jumping out the way.
"His feet are huge, by gosh!" said Sam.
"Merry, maybe you should tickle him?" said Pippin.
"This is no time for sex games!" said Merry, angry.
"Yes, target the foot, good idea!" said Gandalf, looking to Legolas, who nodded.
Giant Wormtongue lifted his foot to stomp it down again, but before he could do so Legolas shot him in the sole of the foot with an arrow!"
"OUCH!" said Giant Wormtongue, hopping mad. He tripped over some trees and crashed down, taking out more of the forest.
"Err, I think he killed a few more Ents there," said Gimli.
"Oh well, that's TREE way it goes!" punned Legolas.
"HAHAHAHA!" laughed Saruman. "I've used the distraction to kidnap Bilbo. Now I will forced him to marry Saddam...again! And there's no stopping me...again!"
Saruman rode away in his tank with Bilbo and Saddam with the Fellowship in hot pursuit.
"I hope this ends soon, I'm hungry," said Sam.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"Ride with all haste, Shadowfax!" said Gandalf.
"Yeah, you too, umm...I don't know my horse's name," admitted Frodo.
Saruman's tank was heading towards the great river Anduin.
"Hey can't cross the river in his tank!" said Pippin, sucking Merry's toes.
"God that feels good!" said Merry.
Suddenly, Saruman's tank SPROUTED WINGS and flew over the river!
"Shiiiit," said Frodo.
"What now, Gandalf?" asked Aragorn.
"What are we waiting for!?" asked Gimli, confused. "We can just use the new dwarf bridge to cross the river!"
"That what now?" asked Legolas.
"WHAT IS THIS BRIDGE YOU SPEAK OF, QUICKLY GIMLI, LOOSEN YOUR TONGUE!" said Gandalf.
"The dwarf bridge over the river, I thought everyone knew about it!" said Gimli.
"Well where is it!?" asked Aragorn.
"It's invisible! DUH!" said Gimli. "I'll show you." And he stopped forward...and fell right into the river.
"Umm..." said Frodo.
"Wait a minute!"? said Gandalf. "I've suddenly remembered I'm a fish!" And he started dancing.
"And I suddenly remembered I'm gay!" said Merry, making out with Pippin furiously.
"Laddie-daa, I love noses!" sang Frodo.
"MESSA ERECT PENIS MAN!" said Aragorn, wanking his erect penis.
"What's going on!?" asked Legolas. "Everyone's gone mad except me and...Sam!?"
Sam had started eating the ground.
"I LOVE THE TASTE OF GROUND!" said Sam.
"Have you all taken drugs!?" asked Legolas.
"Wait that's it!" said Gandalf, coming to his senses for a moment. "Saruman has put a DRUGS SPELL on us all! They don't work on elves, you see! HAHAHA, I FEEL SO GOOD ON DRUGS! SEX WITH TURNIPS, HAHAHA!"
"How do I counter the spell!?" asked Legolas.
"YOU DON'T," said the voice of Saruman, his winged tanked swooping down for the kill. "NOW I END THIS FELLOWSHIP!"
"THE EAGLES ARE COMING, THE EAGLES ARE COMING!" cried Bilbo, from his seat on the tank.
TO BE CONTINUED
"Yeah, you too, umm...I don't know my horse's name," admitted Frodo.
Saruman's tank was heading towards the great river Anduin.
"Hey can't cross the river in his tank!" said Pippin, sucking Merry's toes.
"God that feels good!" said Merry.
Suddenly, Saruman's tank SPROUTED WINGS and flew over the river!
"Shiiiit," said Frodo.
"What now, Gandalf?" asked Aragorn.
"What are we waiting for!?" asked Gimli, confused. "We can just use the new dwarf bridge to cross the river!"
"That what now?" asked Legolas.
"WHAT IS THIS BRIDGE YOU SPEAK OF, QUICKLY GIMLI, LOOSEN YOUR TONGUE!" said Gandalf.
"The dwarf bridge over the river, I thought everyone knew about it!" said Gimli.
"Well where is it!?" asked Aragorn.
"It's invisible! DUH!" said Gimli. "I'll show you." And he stopped forward...and fell right into the river.
"Umm..." said Frodo.
"Wait a minute!"? said Gandalf. "I've suddenly remembered I'm a fish!" And he started dancing.
"And I suddenly remembered I'm gay!" said Merry, making out with Pippin furiously.
"Laddie-daa, I love noses!" sang Frodo.
"MESSA ERECT PENIS MAN!" said Aragorn, wanking his erect penis.
"What's going on!?" asked Legolas. "Everyone's gone mad except me and...Sam!?"
Sam had started eating the ground.
"I LOVE THE TASTE OF GROUND!" said Sam.
"Have you all taken drugs!?" asked Legolas.
"Wait that's it!" said Gandalf, coming to his senses for a moment. "Saruman has put a DRUGS SPELL on us all! They don't work on elves, you see! HAHAHA, I FEEL SO GOOD ON DRUGS! SEX WITH TURNIPS, HAHAHA!"
"How do I counter the spell!?" asked Legolas.
"YOU DON'T," said the voice of Saruman, his winged tanked swooping down for the kill. "NOW I END THIS FELLOWSHIP!"
"THE EAGLES ARE COMING, THE EAGLES ARE COMING!" cried Bilbo, from his seat on the tank.
TO BE CONTINUED
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
The Eagles swooped down and pecked out Saruman's eyes.
"ARRGH, MY EYES!" he said, in his great voice.
"Is this FINALLY over with?" asked Frodo, recovering from the spell now that Saruman had no eyes.
"Umm, I think so," said Gandalf. "I forgot to mention that I asked the eagles to step in if we were ever in trouble."
"We've been in trouble loads of times!" said Bilbo, now free.
"Yes but they only come in to save us in the LAST chapter," explained Gandalf.
"Well, that makes sense," said Frodo.
"If it makes sense to Mister Frodo, it makes sense to me!" said Sam.
"Me too, suck it harder!" said Pippin.
"Mmmph tommph!" said Merry, Pippin's cock in his mouth.
"AND MY AXE," said Gimli.
"I feel stronger than ever now that I've been resurrected by that golden bear blood!" added Aragorn.
"Yeah, great," said Legolas. "I want to go home."
"Wait a minute!" said Bilbo. "What do we do with Saddam Hussien? He was part of Saruman's evil scheme!"
"Oh come on guys, I can change!" said Saddam. "Just look up me singing 'I can change' from the South Park movie on YouTube!"
"GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!" said Gandalf, and they all laughed and rode home.
Saruman crawled on the ground, searching for his eyes in vain (the eagles had eaten them.)
"AM I CURSED TO WALK THIS EARTH WITHOUT EYES?" he boomed.
"Mabe we cans be off assistance, precious!" said GOLLUM!
THE END!?
"ARRGH, MY EYES!" he said, in his great voice.
"Is this FINALLY over with?" asked Frodo, recovering from the spell now that Saruman had no eyes.
"Umm, I think so," said Gandalf. "I forgot to mention that I asked the eagles to step in if we were ever in trouble."
"We've been in trouble loads of times!" said Bilbo, now free.
"Yes but they only come in to save us in the LAST chapter," explained Gandalf.
"Well, that makes sense," said Frodo.
"If it makes sense to Mister Frodo, it makes sense to me!" said Sam.
"Me too, suck it harder!" said Pippin.
"Mmmph tommph!" said Merry, Pippin's cock in his mouth.
"AND MY AXE," said Gimli.
"I feel stronger than ever now that I've been resurrected by that golden bear blood!" added Aragorn.
"Yeah, great," said Legolas. "I want to go home."
"Wait a minute!" said Bilbo. "What do we do with Saddam Hussien? He was part of Saruman's evil scheme!"
"Oh come on guys, I can change!" said Saddam. "Just look up me singing 'I can change' from the South Park movie on YouTube!"
"GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!" said Gandalf, and they all laughed and rode home.
Saruman crawled on the ground, searching for his eyes in vain (the eagles had eaten them.)
"AM I CURSED TO WALK THIS EARTH WITHOUT EYES?" he boomed.
"Mabe we cans be off assistance, precious!" said GOLLUM!
THE END!?
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Anyone can be redeemed in the end