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Atlantis (BBC)

Disappointed about the lack of drama horn on that trailer.

I would have put more cock jokes, zombies and caves in it myself. I am a traditionalist like that.
 
Pretty disappointing return episode. No cave set. Major character death happens off camera. Medusa just cries a lot. Not enough terrible humour!
 
I'm just glad it's ending before Mark Addie's sense of self esteem is completely worn down by the "lol he's fat!" jokes.
 
Atlantis is really embracing serial storytelling!

Too many bald guys! Can't tell them apart. And now Cassandra is a bald girl!

The Irish guy seemed to get more Irish as the episode went on.

I laughed when they said they were going to burn Hercules in the bull with Jason. "Must be a big bull," I thought (because Hercules is fat.)
 
So this week's was good on the Atlantis scale. SPOILERS FOLLOW. Jason chopped Medusa's head off and used her to kill people! Irish guy died! They brought back characters from the previous series! Hercules ate loads of food and fell asleep! Still not Pythagorus gayness though and it seems Jason having hate sex with Hot Scottish Girl is just a dream. But still! Fun episode!
 
OMG.

Finally Jason gets Scottish tits in his face and kisses her at the end. Amy Manson is hot and a much better actress than Jason so I felt like he didn't deserve it. But Dark Jason is here! It meant he didn't have to act much as he spent most of the episode sitting around looking angry. He's so dark.

Pythagoras again went on a solo mission back to Atlantis and I thought he was finally going to get gay but his potentially gay friend turned heel on him! So when is he going to get gay? There's only three episdoes left. That's not a lot of time for gay.

John Hannah returned as Jason's father and I vaguely remembered him being in it before but I had no idea what happened to his character. Atlantis really needs a "previously on Atlantis" intro because they can't expect us to remember bland plot points from series one. He's a leper now. How did he send Jason to the future that time? Will that ever come up again?

They weren't even subtle at all with Pasiphae "using the Force" to choke an underling.

Next week Jason is shirtless and fighting in an arena. Again.
 
And so Atlantis continues to eat itself with...another episode where Jason has to fight in an arena. Shirtless. It's like they're doing a great hits tour before the finish. John Hannah attepts to act with Rice Krispies glued to his face but doesn't explain how Jason ended up in the future. Everyone else sits around that forest set for a while doing nothing.

Next week is a DOUBLE EPISODE FINALE. That's right, the BBC are trying to burn this off as quickly as possibly and this means I'll be watching NINTEY MINUTES of Atlantis next week just for you lovely people.
 
And it's over. A 90 minutes episode that REALLY OBVIOUSLY wasn't meant to be a series finale. Everything is wrapped up with about half an hour to go...so of course Pasiphae magically comes back to life to hit the reset button. Why did Hercules let her pray before he executed her? She's a fucking witch, fatty! Loads of secondary characters died but I never learned any of their names. The episode ends with a flashfoward showing that series 3 would have just dragged out the Jason/Hot Scottish Girl/lAriadne love traingle even longer.

But at least we got GAY PYTHAGORAS at last! And Icarus flew! With the power of gay! That was good payoff.

The girl playing Cassandra was good. Better than Jason. Everyone was better than Jason.

So long, Atlantis. You won't even get a Christmas special to tie up your storylines.
 
So this week's was good on the Atlantis scale. SPOILERS FOLLOW. Jason chopped Medusa's head off and used her to kill people! Irish guy died! They brought back characters from the previous series! Hercules ate loads of food and fell asleep! Still not Pythagorus gayness though and it seems Jason having hate sex with Hot Scottish Girl is just a dream. But still! Fun episode!


OMG MEDUSA IS DEAD.

Hercules is fat lol
 
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