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Volpone

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Apparently if you get LASIK it flattens your corneas to a degree where contact lenses won't fit on them properly anymore. So if you ever need to have different colored eyes for something you'd better hope they will do it with a computer in post. Or that you can find a crooked optometrist who'll sign off on contacts for you.

For that matter it might be something to be aware of if you're getting LASIK and they don't think they'll be able to correct enough. If that happens, contacts will probably be out and you'll need glasses.

(Of course I went to America's Best. Maybe a legitimate eye doctor might be able to help you.)
 
What you talking about Willis?
 
Thank you for having your eyes shaved with a laser by a cheap hack so that you now have money to give to me. God Bless America.
 
I'll stick to my glasses.

My pal Jean now sees "halos" around the stars and can't drive at night.

So I'm thinking: shaving my eyeballs - not happening.
 
Lasik is one thing I will NEVER EVAH do. You're awake and you can see those needles coming at you? FUCK THAT.
 
I loves my LASIK. Part of the key to it is to spend good money on a reputable doctor who has the latest equipment. I got mine done in 2003, when I was flush with cash. There was a place that was advertising in the Sunday funnies for $169 per eye. I looked into them a bit and wound up going with someone who charged a...little...more.

But it was worth every penny. They talk about dry eyes, loss of night vision, and "halos". They also tell you that it may take a couple days before your vision improves and stabilizes. I think I rolled of the table with around 20/15 eyesight and the only side-effect I ever encountered was I broke some blood vessels in one eye, so that eye was an evil red color for a couple weeks.

Oh, and apparently I can't wear fake contacts.
 
I hope I go blind at the exact time Geordi La Forge's VISOR is invented.
 
A friend of mine had it done and talked me through the operation in detail. It sounds like torture. Would be a nice alternative to contacts if it was done well, though. Most of the time my contacts are fine, but every so often they dry up or get irritated for no apparent reason. Annoying.
 
the only time my glasses bug me is when I'm x-country skiing and they fog up.
I'll live with it.
the only two peeps I PERSONALLY know who had it done have problems (Bro in law find bright lights bothersome...)...so 2 for 2? ...not the greatest batting average, IMHO.
btw, they both went to Toronto and had them done for quite a chunk of change and in seperate places.
 
Indeed. I once told someone what the actual process entails, play-by-play. I have since learned to tell the story at a high level. The one detail I do share is after they gave me Valium for the procedure the doctor took me to an exam room to make "reference marks"--he literally drew on my eyeballs with a magic marker.

Well as he's doing this I start laughing. This unsettled him a bit and he asked what was so funny. "Well, you know, I'm thinking about how dentists tell you not to put any sharp metal objects in your mouth and then when you visit them, that's the first thing they do to you. I'm guessing this is, like, a million times worse than that."
 
What if the surgeon is actually a Bond Villain in disguise and he aims the laser between your legs...
 
Then you start blurting out random words that sound like they could be codenames for world domination plans until he sets you free and plies you for more information using one of his nurses as a whore.
 
Laser near my eyes, no thanks.

I don't think they could correct my eyes anyway.
 
^good point; IIRC aren't there some astigmatisms (however the hell it's spelled) the laser can't correct?

[Valpone, not jumping on ya, just saying NO TO LASER.]
 
I know a few people who have had the surgery and STILL wear their glasses. The surgery made their eyesight worse than before.
 
I hate wearing glasses. Contacts are such a godsend. No steaming up when you enter a warm room, no getting dirt or splashes on them and no falling off your nose. And you can see in all directions!

I wouldn't get laser surgery if there was a chance I might be stuck wearing glasses and not being able to use contacts.
 
Yeah. If you go to a reputable doctor they'll look at your eyes to see if you're a good candidate for LASIK. And not just whether you have a prescription they are able to fix but whether or not your corneas are the right thickness to allow a successful procedure. Because if there isn't enough lens there they can't shape it right. I think it was possible to have too much cornea too, but I don't recall.
 
i'm all for lasik. i figure it's a day of horror & torture vs. a lifetime of perfect vision and no hassle. fair trade in my book. now i just gotta get my shit together and find the right dude w/laser.
 
AM I ONLY ONE HERE WITH GOOD EYESIGHT?
 
Eh. I dunno if I'd say a day of horror and torture. It was a morning of stress and discomfort. Mentally it was very stressful--even with the Valium--and if I had it to do over again I'd have done one eye at a time.

After they finished the first eye I asked the doc if I could maybe just get up and walk around the building once or twice. Wisely and calmly he said "you're already here and everything is set up. If you'll just sit tight for another ten minutes we'll be done." And we were.

Then after a preliminary exam they gave me some eye-drops that, IIRC, I had to put in every two hours for the first day and then a couple times a day for a couple weeks after that. And they slapped some goggles on me to keep me from touching my eyes unwittingly and put me in a cab. I spent most of the rest of the day sleeping (in goggles).

Speaking of stressful procedures, maybe one day I'll tell you about the time I had my wisdom teeth pulled using only local anesthetic. Actually I quite enjoyed that and the worst part of the whole procedure was getting like, 127 Novocaine shots into my mouth.
 
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