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Badlands ITEM of the WEEK (Item)

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Thing Of The Day Is a Mine Field exclusive and CANNOT be posted in the Badlands...

...BUT THERE'S NO RULE AGAINST POSTING THE BADLANDS ITEM OF THE WEEK

It will be a different format from Thing Of The Day is it is an item and not a thing and weekly instead of daily.

It will be me listing everything I've masturbated over for the past week.

1)

Actually no it won't be that; that would be terrible!

So instead how about a story where Chandler from Friends joins THE BORG!

(Chandler from Friends has been assimilated. He is on a Borg Cube.)

BORG: WE ARE THE BORG.

Chandler Borg:: Could we BE any more of the Borg!

(The Borg Queen slinks into the scene.)

Borg Queen: You are showing signs of individuality, 8 of 38.

Chandler Borg: Sorry, I can't help it. I'm outrageous!

Borg Queen: Your individuality disgusts me...but also arouses me. I had sex with Data once and it was hot. I'm going to give you a robot cock so you can fuck me too.

Chandler Borg: Can't I just fuck you with my own cock?

Borg Queen: No, it must be a robot cock. Resistance is futile.

Chandler Borg: Could I BE any more CUCKED!

(Hugh Borg walks in with a penis slicer.)

Hugh Borg: The penis slicer is ready to slice.

Chandler Borg: Hugh Borg? Didn't you die?

Hugh Borg: Aren't you a fictional character from an ancient Earth sitcom?

Chandler Borg: Good point! This makes no sense!

(Chandler wakes up in bed with Janice. He is sweating.)

Chandler: Don't chop my cock off!

Janice: What? I was asleep.

Chandler: Sorry, I had a strange dream. But at least I'm safe in bed with you, Monica.

Janice: Oh my GODDDDDDDD! I'm not Monica, you cunt!

(She turns into a askgdfjlsFASHOER8ODFRSY9GB9UGFD
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yeah this will probably be the last item of the week
 
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