BDM'S LONG-AWAITED 2009 OSCARS FASHION THREAD!!

[Big Dick McGee]

That’s right, friends! It’s time for my annual gay-a-palooza known as The Official Mine Field 2009 Oscars Fashion Thread!! As my son used to say when I was toilet-training him, “Let’s get this potty started!”

Amy Adams, the colour is a bold choice, but the necklace looks like it was made by a strung out hippie from New Mexico. Also, she looks like Spider-Woman, with the black piping and the way the dress hangs down like a web from her bosoms.

Anne Hathaway, looking very elegant in a cream-coloured strapless number. I LOVE the detail on this dress, and the fact that she kept in minimalist by eschewing a flashy necklace. Sometimes alabaster skin is the best accessory. Not a huge fan of her hair, and I wish her earrings were a bit bigger. Still, a winner!

Mrs. Jay-Z, channeling her inner hula dancer. Where to begin? The shape isn’t flattering, the bottom looks like bad origami, and the gold leaf makes me think of an old sofa my grandparents had. If she dressed like this when she first met Mr. Carter, I’m certain he wouldn’ta put a ring on it!

Hollywood Royalty. I LOVE this dress, and her earrings and ring were phenomenal. She just looks so classy, yet sexy with the sheer gathering at the bottom of the gown. All of Young Hollywood should take their cues from Angie. Flawless.

What. The. Fuck. Talk about using old sofa upholstery to make a dress. Bridget Fonda has been out of the spotlight for how long? This ain’t the way to get back on the A-List, sweetie!

 

[Big Dick McGee]

Evan Rachel Wood, in a stunning gown. I like the fact that she chose a pale dress that matches her skin tone, rather than something colourful to contrast it. Love the style, and her hair is very 1940’s glam. Excellent!

Freida Pinto, in probably the best dress of the night. I LOVE the colour, and the gauzy material and the neck and the bottom really offset the beautiful detailing. The lacy long sleeve perfectly completes this dress!

This dress is just wrong. The colour is hideous, it reminds me of cheap wine. The cut is all wrong, it makes her look flabby in the stomach. And the single strap looks out of place. Not good.

Jessica Biel. I know the consensus is that this dress looks like a poorly-folded napkin, but I disagree. I think it looks like she stuffed a towel down her tits. The bottom looks very restrictive, also, like she’ll have to shuffle around like a geisha. Proof that attractive women can look horrible.

Diane Lane-beautiful, simple, elegant.

Judd Apatow and the star of his new Superhero movie, Disco Ball Girl!

Maria Menounos. Wow. I normally hate grey gowns, but this one is spectacular. Love the colour, love the cut, and the accent piping really works to draw your eye down to the amazing flowers/ruffles at the bottom of this dress. Absolutely fantastic! My favourite gown so far!!

Marisa Tomei. Not sure about this one. I like the colour, and her hair is nice. I’m kind of split about the bottom, it sort of looks like a wedding dress that was altered to make it look “funky”. The pleats at the bottom look too busy. And the bust looks overly “formed”, like there’s a plastic insert somewhere in there. My overall opinion: Meh.

 

[Big Dick McGee]

Aww, Melissa Leo. Someone FINALLY invites you to the prom, and you decide to pull a Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink, and make your own dress. I mean, I’ve heard of the carpet matching the drapes, but the drapes matching the dress? Not so much!

Look, you’re a National Treasure, we love you, your work is phenomenal. But leave the method stuff to Penn and Bale, and don’t dress like the character you were nominated for.

Saturday Night Fever: The Hip Replacement Years!

“I don’t care WHAT you say, I want to look like one a them fancy white Christmas trees, but crossed with a Disney mermaid! DO IT!”

Oh. My. GAWD! Do you love it? I KNOW, RIGHT? Everything about this is so right, the only thing I can do is fuck it up by trying to describe it.

Penelope looks a bit lost in this dress. Lost like, it’s swallowing her alive!

I will never, ever say a bad word about Phoebe Cates, for when she was the hottest girl on the planet, she made a little 11-year-old boy’s dreams come true, baring her breasts in FT@RH. She’s still pretty hot, too.

Didn’t see much else of Robin Wright Penn’s dress, but I like what I see here. She’s still so pretty, I had SUCH a crush on her in Princess Bride.

 

[Big Dick McGee]

SJP, why the long face? NYUK-NYUK! F’real, though, that dress does wonders for her chesticles!

Honestly, the dress is pretty bad. I mean, it looks like they made a gown from an old Hallowe’en devil cape. But Heidi still looks gorgeous!!

Taraji P. Henson. This dress is gorgeous. I know it may kinda look like she’s wrapped up in ace bandages, or T.P., but I like it. Really, really fantastic.

OK, I'm about 2/3 done, leaving for home, I'll finish then! Ciao!

 

[CaptainWacky]

ABOUT TIME!!!

Thanks for including Natalie (and smiling!) I think she looks best so far.

 

[The Tomtrek]

Anne Hathaway looks really scary in that dress, with her LONG neck and her long spindly arms.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

This Old Grecian Urn Lady gown on Meryl is driving me crazy. Half the fashion mavens love it, half hate it. Half the pictures of it make it look awful, the other half make it look regal.

I guess the final verdict has to be BZZZZZZZZ, because something is obviously wrong for it to bring about such inconsistent results.

 

[Big Dick McGee]

What's a Grecian Urn?

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Don't fear the Google.

 

[Tisiphone]

Poor Meryl, she's probably tired of dressing herself for all these award shows. Every time she does a movie, she gets nominated, and sometimes for no reason at all. Don't get me wrong, I love her, but I think the people in charge of the awards shows see her name and wet themselves.

Loved Taraji's dress, and Amy Adams looked like a Christmas tree.

 

[curiousa2z]

someone should shoot Meryl's dresser. grey's never a colour I much like anyway, but Grey on a 40+ ? JUST SAY NO.

with all the money these babes can spend on dresses, maybe some of them should invest in an HONEST FRIEND when they go shopping!

 

[Big Dick McGee]

Don't fear the Google.

Dude. Fastball down the middle. Admittedly, it's more of a verbal joke, but when asked, "What's a Grecian Urn?" the proper response is "about $5.50 an hour!" NYUK-NYUK!

 

[Big Dick McGee]

I never did finish this...

 

[CaptainWacky]

Finish it!

 

[CaptainWacky]

THREE YEARS since Natalie wore that pink dress? FUCK.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

The purple pregnant gown sort of overshadowed it in people's minds, especially since she won that year.

 

[Cassie]

How come BDM doesn't spell color like an AMERICAN?

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Mine Field UK Peer pressure!

 

[curiousa2z]

Well she was the most gorgeous pregnant woman I've ever seen at the Oscars in that purple dress!

Speaking of purple= Tina Fey FTW!!!
But WHAT the HELL was Colin Firth's wife thinking with that red shelf over her bosom???OMG. ALLthat money and no sense at all.
The woman from The Help (sorry! what's her name???) in the emerald green looks STUNNING.
Penelope Cruz in the lavender= mue GOR geous!!! But I was sad to see she's cut her hair.
Still awaiting Angelina J!

Oh, here's her paramour with long hair....