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BREAKING NEWS: I KILLED OSAMA BIN LADEN

Colonel Kira's Left Tit

Bearded Belly of Bajor
By shoving an entire box of toothpicks up his nostrils. Worship me like the monkeys climbing trees and tossing around beachballs on the White House lawn. USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
 
I thought we couldn't find him? Last rumored to be hiding in the caves of Afghanistan. And now all of a sudden we find and kill him in Pakistan? How convenient. Too convenient.
 
It's the faked moonlanding all over again!
 
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POST YOUR FAVOURITE BIN LADEN STORIES! HERE IS MINE FROM WHEN JOHN SIMPSON MET HIM

Life as the most wanted man on earth has changed him. It has made him clinical and cold. But people who have seen him recently say he has an extraordinary aura. He didn't have it the only time I came across him. It was in July 1989, close to his present base in Jalalabad.



Then he was just another rich Saudi, come to fight the infidel. I was filming a Mujahedin group firing mortars at the city when bin Laden leapt on to a wall, magnificently bearded and white-robed, and urged the Mujahedin to kill my colleagues and me. When the Mujahedin voted, on balance, not to kill us, he offered a nearby lorry driver $500 to run me over: disturbingly little, I felt. The driver turned him down too, and bin Laden went off and lay on a bed, weeping with frustration.
 
LOL
 
I liked that time he ate an apple in a cocky manner.
 
I like the time he got shot in the head by a Navy SEAL.
 
I liked the time he crept in my window and tickled my feet with his soft beard.
 
I liked the time when the British SBS and SAS had Osama cornered in the Tora Bora mountains back in 2001 due to British intelligence and Special Forces personnel and were then told to pull back and let the Americans get the kill who subsequently took hours to get there by which time he had escaped.

The SAS men setting up targets for Rummy's killers - Times Online


My face when the Americans get him 10 years later...

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IF YOU'RE NOT DOWN WITH THE USA THEN YOU'RE A FUCKING TERRORMONKEY SO TAKE YOUR ALAN DAVIES BACK TO JAPAN WHERE HE WAS BORN
 
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