What's new
Troll Kingdom

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

BREAKING NEWS: THE ROCK'S NOSE EXPLODES

CaptainWacky

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
"...unconfirmed reports are coming in that former professional wrestler and current professional actor The Rock..."

"...more and more reports coming in of some kind of explosion..."

"...apparently The Rock's face was the source of the explosion..."

"...witnesses say that huge chunks of his nose just came flying towards them..."

"HIS NOSE MAN, IT WAS HIS NOSE, SHIT JUST EXPLODED..."

"...Stone Cold Steve Austin has been called to see if he can shed some light on..."

"I..." WHAT? "Think..." WHAT? "That..." WHAT? "I THINK THAT..." WHAT? "Itwasanaccident, The rock..." WHAT? "Would never hurt..." WHAT? "AH GO TO HELL, I HOPE THE ROCK'S EXPLODING BODY PARTS KILL YOU ALL!"

WHAT?

"...A TERRORIST, The Rock was nothing but a terrorists all along, a Hawaiin...Samoan, ah whatever the FUCK he was, they all look the some to me...hey, don't cut my mic, you can't surpress the truth, WHITE POWER, WHITE POWER..."

"...The Rock's body still has not been found...weeks after the incident..."

"...scientists are now claiming that the explosion which claimed The Rock's nose three months ago was actually caused when The Rock, quite literally, attempted to smell what The Rock was cooking..."

"...as a scientiest, I can confirm this. For years he's told everyone to smell what he's cooking...it seems he just wanted to smell it for himself...but that's not possible, how can the Rock smell what the Rock is cooking? It created a paradox...a tear in the space time continuum...centred around his nose...terrible loss of life..."

"Hehe, I'm glad he's dead, BECAUSE I AM THE GAME!"
 
The Rock is hot even with an exploded nose.
 
THE ROCK TO APPEAR AS NICKY THE NOSE IN STAR TREK: FRST CONTACT REMAKE? STEVE BUSCEMI TO PLAY PICARD??
 
KAREEM ABDUL JABAAR TO PLAY LILY AND DONALD TRUMP TO PORTRAY ZEFRAM COCHRAN? ENTIRE CAST TO WEAR DONKEY HEADS AND TALK LIKE THE PROPHETS IN PICARD'S BORG DREAM? "THE PICARD IS LINEAR...AND F'IN BALD, DOG! ASSIMILATE HIS ASS NNNYEEEE-HAWWWWWW!!!"
 
PICARD TO DONKEY PUNCH ENSIGN LYNCH WHEN HE ASKS FOR HELP?
 
It's the only way to get the Borg neuro-processor (in the new version)
 
GEORDI LAFORGE TO BE PLAYED BY MR HILTER?

BEVERLY CRUSHER TO BE PLAYED BY THE PROBLEM CHILD??
 
DEANNA TO BE PLAYED BY LEO SAYER WHO EVEN FEELS LIKE DANCIN WHEN HE'S DRUNK ON SOMETHING CALLED TEQUILA SLAMMERS BONC?
 
MIDDLE AGED CLEAVAGE?
 
CAMEO BY B-4 SPORTING 38-B's?
 
RIKER TO STILL BE PLAYED BY FRAKES BUT INSTEAD OF A BEARD HE HAS A PUBIC WIG CRUDELY STAPPLED TO HIS FACE AND HE KEEPS SHAKING HIS ASS LIKE A BABOON FOR NO APPARENT REASON AND INSTEAD OF "IT'S ABOUT TO GET A WHOLE LOT BIGGER" HE SAYS "THEY TRIED TO MAKE ME GO TO REHAB AND I SAID: MEEP MEEP MEEP!"?
 
He says that every movie.
 
Yes, and then Phil Jupituss appears suspended on wires, floating around the bridge, and he's dressed like Daredevil, but with a cape, and he floats around making strange chipmunk noises, but nobody acknowledges him or refers to him, and the helmsman (HAWK) has been replaced by Christopher Biggins and they finally deal with the HAWK IS GAY lines that were cut from the first movie when Biggins traps Worf in the Turbolift and squeals "It's tough in the Jungle, whip your Mek'leth out for a lonely man!", and then Troi appears, but she doesn't look right, and that's because she's being played by Adam Sandler, who has signed a new contract to appear in every movie, and she gets BLENDED on Earth as Ainsley Harriott chases Zephram Concrane around with a pink feather duster shouting "Ladies and Gentlemen! Ladies and Gentlemen" then Lily Vapourises Ainsley without warning and says "It's my first raygun plus he wasn't AS GOOD A #### AS ME!" and then Cochrane says "Are we all on some kind of Star Trek" then all the cast appear for an unexplained reason (including Jupituss on the wire) and they do a Riverdance before moving straight onto the next scene without comment.
 
LEVAR BURTON AND RANDY NEWMAN TO REMAKE HAWK THE SLAYER AS A MUSICAL STARRING GILBERT GOTTFRIED'S CHORRISO PIZZA RECIPE?
 
Ooh - I hope so!
 
You must spread your legs more before giving it up for ChrisG64

Yes and at the end where Data says "resistence is futile" for no apparent reason and it makes no sense in context, he instead says "suck my robot dick, borg queen! You clamp your jaws around mah robo-dick and you suck it hard, INHALE my robo-sperm, biatch, because it's the SUH-SWEETEST thing you ever did taste in your life and you KNOW IT, HO!" but while he's saying this the borg queen turns into a giraffe so her head can avoid the plasma and Picard has to kick her head off with a SPINNING BIRD KICK like Chun Li but he misses and tears his pants and says "I tore my pants!" like O'Brien in Rocks and Shaols and then Worf jumps down from the ceiling saying "mind if I DROP IN" and heroicly pulls the Borg Queen into the plasma killing himself nad Picard and Data are sad but then worf jumps out the plasma and says "WE KLINGONS ARE BUILT TO LAST, GRRRRAAAH!"
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top