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Carrie Fisher Has Been 2016'd.

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So will Disney rewrite Episode IV? Fisher and Hamill reportedly had big roles in it.

My suggestion is to drop her in a lava pit in the opening scene, then put her in a small Darth Vader suit for the rest of the movie.
 
I'm waiting for the left to realize that Carrie Fisher's story, and Princess Leia's, was one of white privilege cranked to 11.
 
Just to kick things off for the Social Justice Warriors, here's a start.

Princess Leia was the lily white daughter of a lily white Queen and a lily white Jedi. Her mother died in childbirth but she was adopted by another royal family because, well, she was fuckin' white. She rose to the rank of general because she was white. Her whole life story happened because she was white.

Her dad grew up on a backwater planet and worked in a junk yard, but unlike other people from Tataouine, he was a white kid so he got snatched up by the elites of the old Republic and flown to their capital for special training in oppressing the poor and minorities. He quickly drew the attention of the white chancellor because, let's face it, he was whiter than other Jedi. Then a black Jedi and some aliens tried to kill the white chancellor, but Anakin, who is white, saved him in an act of white solidarity and brought new order to the galaxy. The black Jedi with the LGBT approved light saber was hacked up and thrown out a window, which is fine because he was never straight and white anyway.

So Anakin's white privileged daughter is taken to Alderaan to be raised in the royal court as a white princess, while her brother is dumped back on Tataouine. But then the white Emperor and his white Jedi toady build a Death Star, and in alarm, Princess Leia (a princess because she was born white and privileged) sends a message to a white guy her father knew. That guy grabs up Luke, because he's white, and starts teaching him the ways of the force so he can go on to oppress poor and minorities, as is his white destiny. Meanwhile the white people on the Death Star blow up the princess's adoptive planet of Alderaan, because hey, she's white and some of them were certainly minorities.

The old white Jedi and his young white apprentice rescue the princess, and not thousands of other Imperial prisoners held on the Death Star, because of course she's white - and privileged. They escape the Death Star and fly off to the rebel base (which she could have told Darth Vader about, but she didn't because she was a privileged white girl who was worth more than her entire adoptive planet), and then blow up the Death Star, sparing the white guy who was defending it. Afterwards they have an awards ceremony that's even whiter than the Oscars and give each other medals - because they're white and privileged.

So then Luke flies to Degobah because Jedi masters who aren't white are forced to live in a shack in a swamp, unlike privileged white princesses who get to live in palaces just because they're white - and privileged. But Luke has to cut his training short because his white friends have fallen into the hands of the Empire, who don't give a fuck about white people. Vader freezes Han Solo (who is white) in carbonite to return him to a non-white, non-human who got stiffed by a white person. But the rebels rally, travel to Tataouine in disguises, and kill every motherfucker who isn't white.

They then fly to Endor to lead an assault on a shield generator, in which they use all the native non-white inhabitants as cannon fodder, because white heroes can do shit like that. Finally, Luke confronts Darth Vader, but upon noticing how fucking white he is, the Emperor decides to replace Vader and give Luke half ownership in the galaxy. Must be nice to be white. But Vader and Luke realize that they're plenty white enough to rule the galaxy themselves, so they off the Emperor.

Many years later we find that Luke has run off and the rebels send a white girl to find him. Leia has been made a general even though her father and son were both Sith and even though she'd never done a damn thing except get rescued, because she is white - and privileged. Her husband, Han Solo, is still a general because even though he's a smuggler and a scumbag, he's white and had saved countless white lives.

And so we await episode VIII, where we'll see yet more white heroes being white - and privileged.
 
gturner said:
Just to kick things off for the Social Justice Warriors, here's a start.

Princess Leia was the lily white daughter of a lily white Queen and a lily white Jedi. Her mother died in childbirth but she was adopted by another royal family because, well, she was fuckin' white. She rose to the rank of general because she was white. Her whole life story happened because she was white.

Her dad grew up on a backwater planet and worked in a junk yard, but unlike other people from Tataouine, he was a white kid so he got snatched up by the elites of the old Republic and flown to their capital for special training in oppressing the poor and minorities. He quickly drew the attention of the white chancellor because, let's face it, he was whiter than other Jedi. Then a black Jedi and some aliens tried to kill the white chancellor, but Anakin, who is white, saved him in an act of white solidarity and brought new order to the galaxy. The black Jedi with the LGBT approved light saber was hacked up and thrown out a window, which is fine because he was never straight and white anyway.

So Anakin's white privileged daughter is taken to Alderaan to be raised in the royal court as a white princess, while her brother is dumped back on Tataouine. But then the white Emperor and his white Jedi toady build a Death Star, and in alarm, Princess Leia (a princess because she was born white and privileged) sends a message to a white guy her father knew. That guy grabs up Luke, because he's white, and starts teaching him the ways of the force so he can go on to oppress poor and minorities, as is his white destiny. Meanwhile the white people on the Death Star blow up the princess's adoptive planet of Alderaan, because hey, she's white and some of them were certainly minorities.

The old white Jedi and his young white apprentice rescue the princess, and not thousands of other Imperial prisoners held on the Death Star, because of course she's white - and privileged. They escape the Death Star and fly off to the rebel base (which she could have told Darth Vader about, but she didn't because she was a privileged white girl who was worth more than her entire adoptive planet), and then blow up the Death Star, sparing the white guy who was defending it. Afterwards they have an awards ceremony that's even whiter than the Oscars and give each other medals - because they're white and privileged.

So then Luke flies to Degobah because Jedi masters who aren't white are forced to live in a shack in a swamp, unlike privileged white princesses who get to live in palaces just because they're white - and privileged. But Luke has to cut his training short because his white friends have fallen into the hands of the Empire, who don't give a fuck about white people. Vader freezes Han Solo (who is white) in carbonite to return him to a non-white, non-human who got stiffed by a white person. But the rebels rally, travel to Tataouine in disguises, and kill every motherfucker who isn't white.

They then fly to Endor to lead an assault on a shield generator, in which they use all the native non-white inhabitants as cannon fodder, because white heroes can do shit like that. Finally, Luke confronts Darth Vader, but upon noticing how fucking white he is, the Emperor decides to replace Vader and give Luke half ownership in the galaxy. Must be nice to be white. But Vader and Luke realize that they're plenty white enough to rule the galaxy themselves, so they off the Emperor.

Many years later we find that Luke has run off and the rebels send a white girl to find him. Leia has been made a general even though her father and son were both Sith and even though she'd never done a damn thing except get rescued, because she is white - and privileged. Her husband, Han Solo, is still a general because even though he's a smuggler and a scumbag, he's white and had saved countless white lives.

And so we await episode VIII, where we'll see yet more white heroes being white - and privileged.
Click to expand...
Jealous much, cock sucking nigger?
 
I'm betting Carrie's brother Todd will be dead in a couple of days, too.

It's patently apparent that Carrie's daughter is using the Force to kill her entire family for the inheritance money, an idea she obviously got from Episode VII.

Scooby and Shaggy would already have this case wrapped up.
 
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