coronal mass erection

[Cassie]

http://topekasnews.com/giant-sun-eruption-captured-by-nasa-are-the-gays-to-blame/

(CW GLOBAL) – In a rare moment of scientific marvel, NASA scientists have captured recent eruptions on the surface of the Sun. These recordings are in high definition and many people have been put into a state of wonder and awe due to the sheer magnitude of the massive coronal mass ejection.

Could a universe randomly strung together produce a display so magnificent and powerful?

Parishioners at Topeka Baptist Bible Fellowship Church definitely seem to think so. In fact, they think that the magnitude of the Sun’s explosion is directly proportional to the ‘steaming anger of God’s holy wrath due to gay marriage laws supported by Obama’.

After a televised Sunday sermon, the mid-sized congregation’s chief parishioner, Bishop Haywood Bynum III, drew ire from the local community and national media after claiming that the sun’s massive explosion was actually a ‘coronal mass erection’ and allowed by God to ‘certify Satan’s lust for the Earth and mankind will be allowed, since mankind does not care enough to keep God’s dictations pure and true.”

The church’s sermon is being denounced as ‘outlandish’ by many but sadly, mirrors beliefs held by nearly 20% of the region’s faithful.

LOOK OUT TWINKS, SATAN IS LOOKING AT YOUR HOT TWINK ASS AND HE'S GOT THE HORN! I knew God's wrath was steamy, but damn, THERE ARE CHILDREN WATCHING!

 

[CaptainWacky]

I got a fucking huge erection for no reason at all last time (pretty rare these days!) and I think it might have been caused by this.

 

[headvoid]

I think the Sun might be homosexual.

Everyone talks about it shining out of peoples bottoms so much.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Mmmm...hot twinks...

 

[Dr Dave]

That Sun and it's erections!

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Bit of a cheek considering this sounds like one of those places where every girl's married to her cousin brother.

 

[Dr Dave]

And the bible is king.

 

[Cassie]

Satan will fuck the earth with his fiery cock.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Sounds hot!

 

[CaptainWacky]

I'D FUCK ANYONE AND EVERYTHING.

 

[Dr Dave]

Everything?

 

[CaptainWacky]

I'D FUCK A SOUP.

 

[Loktar]

I'D FUCK A SOUP.

What kind of soup?

Split Pea? Tomato? Cream of Celery?

 

[headvoid]

Cassie sounds like she might actually have attended one of these bible gatherings.

I must admit the idea of Satan having a hot fiery cock and thrusting it into things is KINDA HOT

 

[Cassie]

I grew up Baptist in the South! Hellfire and brimstone sermons are popular, but the little church I went to never said such nasty things. HOWEVER, once my grandmother got too old and feeble to go to church she started watching John Hagee Today on that bizarre Christian TV network and I used to watch with her sometimes. I have come to the conclusion that the bigger the church and audience, the crazier the leader is.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Reverand Jim Jones must have been charismatic.

 

[Cassie]

I bet he had a fiery cock, also.

 

[curiousa2z]

if it's a "sin", that makes it more secretly exciting......