Troll Kingdom

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Decisions

we ought to do a tele health session. I'm supposed to do 50 free coaching hours after graduation to get my license.
 
Does it involve a bannana?
 
we ought to do a tele health session. I'm supposed to do 50 free coaching hours after graduation to get my license.

I appreciate that. I really do.
 
My decision is becoming clearer now.

I have sent in my negotiation letter even knowing I may still decline.

I feel more solid now.
 
Every time I think I am close to a decision and a roadblock comes up

Where are they coming from?

What do I really really want to do? Why? Does it matter why? Why don't I want to do it? and to me it doesn't matter why. I don't need a reason why not, but I need a reason why.
 
I will pack my stuff up,
I will move away
into the mountains again
I will have visitors
they will travel long distance to get there
I will wait weeks for my groceries
what will I eat? what will I make? Do I have a freezer big enough for everything i need?
What if the power goes out?
Is there a lantern?
What if there is a bear at my door?
 
And what about the work? the work is less than desirable
what do I do on my days off?
sit by the river?
draw?
write?
take photos?
I mean yeah, that sounds amazing
 
How can one be lonely? THey are lonely in a crowded place, they are lonely in town, they are lonely watching the families go by
 
I'm never lonely. Way too busy with people in real life.
 
I am going forward
on this path
but I am still not certain
it
is
pretty crazy
 
What will bring me the most peace?

The thing that is the most boring unfortunately.

The one that seemilngly has no adventure.

The safe route.

Hmmm I wonder why I wrote that.
 
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