Don't audition for a role

[Mirah]

that has already been cast

 

[Mirah]

Don't eat the crumbs off the floor

 

[Mirah]

When there is a whole cake on the table

and if you can't find that cake
or table
well
then maybe it isn't meant for you

 

[Mirah]

If someone offered to mow your lawn
but you only have trees
tell them
they need a bigger axe

 

[Mirah]

If someone offers to water your garden
but they can't even water their own garden

watch out!

 

[Mirah]

If someone invites you on a fishing trip
but can't stop starring at their own reflection in the water
beware
you will not have dinner tonight

 

[Mirah]

If someone compliments your flowers
while stepping on them
believe their feet
not their words

 

[Mirah]

Don't sweep the porch when the roof is on fire

 

[Mirah]

Don't paint the barn if the cows are still inside

 

[Mirah]

Never ask a duck to explain dry socks!

 

[Mirah]

don't ask a fox to watch the henhouse and then be surprised at dinner

 

[Mirah]

A squirrel will go for your nuts, never expect a squirrel to be anything but a squirrel.

 

[Mirah]

If you keep dipping your paintbrush in the green paint, don't be surprised when your house isn't pink.

 

[Mirah]

If you keep planting fir trees stop looking for peaches

 

[Mirah]

When you give a pig a bath, it is still a pig

 

[Mirah]

If you keep hiring circus workers don't be disapointed when the clowns show up

 

[Mirah]

Don't blame the hallway when you can't find the right door to open

 

[Mirah]

Don't teach a gold fish to climb a tree

don't compare your compass to a weather vane

 

[Mirah]

Never ask the wind for directions
it may have somewhere else to be.

If someone shows up to your well with a bucket
beware

 

[Mirah]

If you wallpaper an outhouse
it is still a shitty place

Never teach a rooster to yodel

Don't wax the tractor when its out of gas