Don't forget to set your COCKS forward tonight!

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

The only clocks in the house that I have to change manually at this point are 1) the wall clock in the bathroom, and 3) the microwave. Everything else adjusts itself automatically.

(I don't wear wristwatches, they are tools of Satan)

 

[CaptainWacky]

WHAT ABOUT 2?

 

[kaonashi.shinu]

the retro clock in the front hall, my alarm clock, my clock in my den. the stove clock, my wristwatch, the clock I put in the bathroom to subtly tell people to hurry the hell up(fail) AND my car clock (which I still cant figure out): all manual.
so basically the puter & the TV are the only ones I dont have to change.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Try nearly 200 antique clocks, my personal collection of wristwatches (need them for work - time is important), 4 different alarm clocks, the stove, the microwave, and multiple car clocks.

Guess who's the clock whisperer? Tick tock, motherfuckers, tick tock.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

I made a typo. IN MY PANTS.

 

[Dr Dave]

!

 

[curiousa2z]

thanks, eggsy - I forgot the microwave clock!

 

[Dr Dave]

What about the BRAIN CLOCK?!

 

[CaptainWacky]

Did Data have to adjust his internal chronometer for GALACTIC SAVING TIME? (No.)

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

When they were young and newly activated, Lore used to play a prank by sticking his finger up Data's butt and twirling the minute hand on his internal chronometer so that it would be off by 1.0287403020412163772 minutes.

 

[curiousa2z]

oh that Lore - he was always grinning about something!

 

[Dr Dave]

Till he died.

 

[curiousa2z]

that's usually when most of us stop having facial expressions.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Another time Lore stuck his finger up Data's butt and lost his emotion chip in there.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Lore was constantly having orgasms. That's why he had that facial twitch. AND WHY HE WAS EVIL.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

(Picard enters the bridge)

PICARD: Cmdr. Data: report.

DATA: MY ASS IS SAD, BALDO!!

PICARD: (taps communicator) Cmdr. LeForge, please report to the bridge.

DATA: MY BEST FRIEND! NOW MY ASS IS HAPPY! *orgasms* OMG KILL ALL HUMANS!

LEFORGE: (voice) Captain, I'm currently repairing the warp engines in under 3 hours AS ORDERED.

PICARD: Georgi, Data is curently talking about killing all of us. WIth his buttocks.

LEFORGE: (voice) Yeah? I bet he can do it in UNDER 3 HOURS!!!

PICARD: Alright Geordi, I get it! I'm a hardass!

DATA: I AM THE HARDEST ASS ON THIS SHIP! I WILL TAKE ALL CHALLENGERS!

WORF: (Mournfully) I require a Klingon woman for ass challenges.

MORN: ...

BEVERLY: ...

TROI: Captain, I can sense feelings in Data!

PICARD: OH CAN YOU YOU STUPID BETACOW??? (Data is currently holding Picard 5 inches off the ground by the throat)

O'BRIEN: (voice) I'd like to help you Captain, but I'm off making a movie in Ireland. Unlike here in Hollywood, they kiss my ass over there!

DATA: I AM THE MOST LOVING ASS KISSER ON THIS SHIP! (Lowers Picard and begins goving his behind a series of rapis yet tender kisses.

PICARD: Geordi!

GEORGI: (voice) Yes Captain?

PICARD: ...never mind.

O'BRIEN: (voice) What a bloody asshole...

DATA: (stops kissing) BLOODY ASSHOLE????? GRRRR...

(Picard's eyes fill with terror, he screams like a little girl)

(Blackout, "Executive Producer Rick Berman")

 

[CaptainWacky]

The eighties were a simpler time.