CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Dr Dave is walking through a forest and it's night and there are squirrels about.
"Excuse me, I've got some pipe to lay," said Dr Dave to a squirrel. "Do you know where Princess Cocktease lives?"
"No, I'm a squirrel," said the squirrel and it squirreled away up a tree.
"Fuck you very much," said Dave. He pressed on. He found himself in a zoo. "Why am I in a fucking zoo?" he asked.
"I could answer, but my master would beat me!" said a monkey.
"Who's your master?" asked Dave.
"YOU ARE. THIS IS A METAPHOR."
"Fuck you," said Dave and he kicked the monkey in its stupid monkey face. He pressed on. He was back in the forest but not the trees were made out of metal. "Fucking metal trees," he said.
"I know where Princess Fuckbrains is!" said a talking snake.
"Where?" asked Dave.
"ON THE MOON!" said the snake.
"FUCK THE MOON", said Dave. Then he remembered that he could fly. He looked up at the moon...and he was there. Standing on the moon. "I didn't fly, I just teleported," said Dave, disappointed.
"Yes, but at least I'm here!" said Princess Inabigbed who was in a big bed.
"Finally, let's fuck some sex," said Dave.
"You do know it's Easter, don't you?" she said. "That means we have to eat easter eggs first, silly!" She pulled some easter eggs out of her bra.
"Wait, how come your breasts are still the same size?" asked Dave.
"Because this is a dream!"
"A dream? A FUCKDAMN DIRTY DREAM?"
"Yes!"
"Whatever, let's fuckulate!"
The dream lasted a further EIGHTEEN HOURS before Dave woke up to find it was actually July!
THE END
"Excuse me, I've got some pipe to lay," said Dr Dave to a squirrel. "Do you know where Princess Cocktease lives?"
"No, I'm a squirrel," said the squirrel and it squirreled away up a tree.
"Fuck you very much," said Dave. He pressed on. He found himself in a zoo. "Why am I in a fucking zoo?" he asked.
"I could answer, but my master would beat me!" said a monkey.
"Who's your master?" asked Dave.
"YOU ARE. THIS IS A METAPHOR."
"Fuck you," said Dave and he kicked the monkey in its stupid monkey face. He pressed on. He was back in the forest but not the trees were made out of metal. "Fucking metal trees," he said.
"I know where Princess Fuckbrains is!" said a talking snake.
"Where?" asked Dave.
"ON THE MOON!" said the snake.
"FUCK THE MOON", said Dave. Then he remembered that he could fly. He looked up at the moon...and he was there. Standing on the moon. "I didn't fly, I just teleported," said Dave, disappointed.
"Yes, but at least I'm here!" said Princess Inabigbed who was in a big bed.
"Finally, let's fuck some sex," said Dave.
"You do know it's Easter, don't you?" she said. "That means we have to eat easter eggs first, silly!" She pulled some easter eggs out of her bra.
"Wait, how come your breasts are still the same size?" asked Dave.
"Because this is a dream!"
"A dream? A FUCKDAMN DIRTY DREAM?"
"Yes!"
"Whatever, let's fuckulate!"
The dream lasted a further EIGHTEEN HOURS before Dave woke up to find it was actually July!
THE END
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