Last week, Big Brother reject Emily Parr was interviewed in Heat magazine explaining how tough things had become for her following her eviction from the house for making a racist comment; she had received “two death threats”, she was crying all the time, her whole family was a mess, her own mum had called her stupid and she was even nervous about going outside. Emily was, according to Heat, “in a state of complete and utter devastation”.
This week’s Emily Parr exclusive in Nuts seems ever so slightly different. “I know I have a nice arse,” says the new face of right-wing Britain, “people tell me all the time.” Other ‘revelations’ include: how amazing it is that she looks a bit like Peaches Geldof, how she would have sex on camera if it was in a film, how she exercises by having sex and that she still gives herself ten out of ten for intelligence.
The logic of the change in strategy seems to be that by moving focus from her moment of shame to a discussion of her bottom, Miss Parr can win over the nation’s ‘lads’ with a cynical flash, and then cash in on all those “deals” while she’s at it.
Not this lad I'm afraid. She's not even that attractive. No really. She isn't. And her front teeth remind me of some anthropomorphous Watership Down character. I'm sure her and Billi will be very happy in their really, really GREAT relationship though!
