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Ever have one of those days...

Eggs Mayonnaise

All In With The Nuts
...when you're really hoping you'll run into someone who will do something that will make you tell them, "WHY DON'T YOU SUCK MY LEFT TIT!"

I've been dying to tell somebody that really loud, but I'm alone in the house.

Quandry.
 
You should see a doctor about your left tit!
 
Ours all pale in comparison to Colonel Kira's (lol pale).
 
SOMEbody's trying to procrastinate from working.....
 
What about your right tit?
 
You could open the window and shout it down to the world.

I am mad as hell, and you can suck my left tit.
 
I walk by people giving me dirty looks (because I'm paranoid and I know they are) and I mumble I wish a bitch would.

SO I FEEL YOUR PAIN, EGGS
 
I get dirty looks from people who are walking on the bike path when I am on a bike.

The clue is in the title people!
 
Go outside and shout it at a bus.
 
No laughing matter! I did stand up tonight and I swear no one laughed. My first serious crowd ever! It wasn't really a crowd, just a couple of people.
 
Left tits get ALL the action. Its just not fair.
 
In 60% of women, the left tit is larger than the right one.

In other news, I said the following phrase to some dickhead in my apartment building yesterday "shut up and fuck off, ya crusty douche nozzle, put your mouth back where it belongs, on your mother's left tit."

TRUE FUCKING STORY!

Well, the first half of the insult was true, I added the rest to make it apropos to this topic.
 
What if your tits are too big to notice if one is larger than the other?

CONUNDRUM
 
What if your tits are too big to notice if one is larger than the other?

CONUNDRUM

Buy a wider angle mirror.
 
That's what one of my men tell me to do with my camera phone. But I think he just says that so I'll finally have an excuse to send him pictures. I told him he lives right by me, if he needs a flash, just drive by and I'll whip my shirt up real quick. No need for pictures.
 
YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND.
 
I like to think so.

(Yes, it took me four days to respond. I'VE BEEN FUCKING SICK GOD DANGIT)
 
If memory serves, Tis, I think it's the right one. There was extra pull on my left side during that motorboat race. Of course, that could've just been due to the muddy rudder.
 
Hmmmm....you might be right about that. I should have been on my game and asked loverboy yesterday when he was...um, checking for lumps. Yes, that's right. Checking for lumps. When he checks for lumps again today (he's very thorough) I'll have him do a detailed inspection and get back to you on that, my friend.

I know my left one is more sensitive though.
 
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