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FHM 100 sexist list 2008 (annotated)

CaptainWacky

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Here is the unmolested list, so you can add your own comments if you want. Mine will follow...

(Thi sis the UK list by the way, I'll post the US list too I suppose when I'm done.)


1 Megan Fox
2 Jessica Alba
3 Keeley Hazell
4 Elisha Cuthbert
5 Hayden Panettiere
6 Scarlett Johansson
7 Cheryl Cole
8 Hilary Duff
9 Angelina Jolie
10 Keira Knightley
11 Rihanna
12 Kate Beckinsale
13 Jessica Biel
14 Eva Longoria
15 Alessandra Ambrosio
16 Rachel Bilson
17 Beyonce Knowles
18 Gemma Atkinson
19 Jennifer Love Hewitt
20 Christina Aguilera
21 Adriana Lima
22 Gisele Bundchen
23 Ana Ivanovic
24 Sophia Bush
25 Salma Hayek
26 Jessica Simpson
27 Jennifer Aniston
28 Charlize Theron
29 Rachel Stevens
30 Maria Sharapova
31 Britney Spears
32 Sarah Michelle Gellar
33 Emma Watson
34 Kelly Brook
35 Eva Mendes
36 Sarah Harding
37 Avril Lavigne
38 Olga Kurylenko
39 Natalie Portman
40 Heidi Klum
41 Lindsay Lohan
42 Bar Refaeli
43 Nadine Coyle
44 Alesha Dixon
45 Katherine Heigl
46 Halle Berry
47 Monica Bellucci
48 Kristen Kreuk
49 Nicole Scherzinger
50 Rachel McAdams
51 Emma Griffiths
52 Carmen Electra
53 Shakira
54 Evangeline Lilly
55 Abbey Clancy
56 Mischa Barton
57 Jennifer Garner
58 Marissa Miller
59 Charlotte McKenna
60 Cameron Diaz
61 Holly Valance
62 Vanessa Hudgens
63 Alexa Chung
64 Ali Larter
65 Emily Scott
66 Kimberley Walsh
67 Milla Jovovich
68 Nadine Velazquez
69 Mandy Moore
70 Sienna Miller
71 Fearne Cotton
72 Eva Green
73 Tricia Helfer
74 Stacey Keibler
75 Petra Nemcova
76 Chelsy Davy
77 Denise Richards
78 Gwen Stefani
79 Mary Elizabeth Winstead
80 Agyness Deyn
81 Anna Kournikova
82 Michelle Ryan
83 Katherine Jenkins
84 Katie Holmes
85 Gloria de Piero
86 Ellen Page
87 Hannah Spearritt
88 Odette Yustman
89 Kristen Bell
90 Amber Heard
91 Kirstie Allsopp
92 April Scott
93 Kylie Minogue
94 Billie Piper
95 Dannii Minogue
96 Nicola Roberts
97 Roxanne McKee
98 Victoria Beckham
99 Marion Cotillard
100 Holly Willoughby
 
Eeeewwww, Megan Fox? Really?
 
1 Megan Fox - VERY SUSPICIOUS that she's top of both the UK and US list. Makes it seem very likely to me that her agent paid for the top spot for her. Not saying she isn't hot, but I can't see her winning in a fair vote. And her tattoos are hideous.
2 Jessica Alba - Does nothing for me. Next.
3 Keeley Hazell - Does little for me, but she's okay.
4 Elisha Cuthbert - Hotter than the three above her.
5 Hayden Panettiere - BLEH. I like her fine, but way overrated. Not even the hottest girl in Heroes.
6 Scarlett Johansson - Now we're talking.
7 Cheryl Cole - She's okay I suppose.
8 Hilary Duff - WTF? She's cute, but is she even well known enough in the UK to make it this high? Another suspicious placement.
9 Angelina Jolie - NO. From Hell's heart I stab at thee. For hate's sake I spit my last breath.
10 Keira Knightley - Gone off her a bit, but no complaints.
11 Rihanna - Yes. Yes.
12 Kate Beckinsale - Never been a fan.
13 Jessica Biel - Still not sure who she is.
14 Eva Longoria - Not a fan.
15 Alessandra Ambrosio - No idea who she is and the google pics didn't grab me.
16 Rachel Bilson - Quite hot, actually, maybe a bit skinny but the kind of face I like.
17 Beyonce Knowles - Meh. Seems a bit high.
18 Gemma Atkinson - Too high. She's okay in terms of ridiculously large-breasted bimbos.
19 Jennifer Love Hewitt - No!
20 Christina Aguilera - Haven't seen much of her at all for ages, but I've always liked her.
21 Adriana Lima - Another model I've never heard of, but hotter than the last one.
22 Gisele Bundchen - A quick google and I'm not impressed.
23 Ana Ivanovic - I'm not up to date on my hot tennis players, but she looks alright.
24 Sophia Bush - So many girls I've never hread of! She looks very cute though.
25 Salma Hayek - Not really my thing.
26 Jessica Simpson - Totally not my thing.
27 Jennifer Aniston - WHY? It's 2008.
28 Charlize Theron - Meh.
29 Rachel Stevens - Meh on toast.
30 Maria Sharapova - This one I know.
31 Britney Spears - No. This is a joke, right? A FUCKING JOKE?
32 Sarah Michelle Gellar -For fuck's sake! Do people just vote for her as a reflex action? She is NOT hot anymore, accept it!
33 Emma Watson - Hehe, muff. Fair placement.
34 Kelly Brook - Quite a big drop (was she not number one last year?)
35 Eva Mendes - Another dull Eva.
36 Sarah Harding - I think she's actually my favourite Girls Aloud ho (the dirty blond one slutty one, right?)
37 Avril Lavigne - YES. Top ten for me, easily.
38 Olga Kurylenko - Can't be bothed googling anymore...
39 Natalie Portman - Sadly enough, I think this is actually her highest placing. Still 38 places too low.
40 Heidi Klum - I find it hard to get excited about models.
41 Lindsay Lohan - Look, she can be pretty when she scrubs up, but this is taking the piss yet again...
42 Bar Refaeli - Another model, can't be bothered forming an opinion.
43 Nadine Coyle - No. Two Girls Aloud on the list is enough.
44 Alesha Dixon - She's okay, eyes are a bit mad.
45 Katherine Heigl - RobL is lurking.
46 Halle Berry - Heavily pregnant during the voting period, so well done.
47 Monica Bellucci - Was she in a Matrix movie or something?
48 Kristen Kreuk - Bad actress, annoying character, but lovely looking girl!
49 Nicole Scherzinger - Not terribly exciting.
50 Rachel McAdams - Never seen any of her movie. Seems okay.
51 Emma Griffiths - No! Well, she's okay, but she's dating that fat Matt Willis twat.
52 Carmen Electra - Meh.
53 Shakira - Yeah! Her hips are always truthful.
54 Evangeline Lilly - KATE DAMN IT RUN (to Wacky's bed)
55 Abbey Clancy - Posing for FHM probably helps your rating.
56 Mischa Barton - Hot in a too skinny, always looks stoned, way.
57 Jennifer Garner - No! Not even top 100.
58 Marissa Miller - I feel nothing when I look at all these model pics on google, not even the slightest stirrings. I guess I'm more sexually mature than a FHM reader? Or just that I have a very low sex drive and only find about ten girls hot.
59 Charlotte McKenna - PAUL MCKENN'S HOT DAUGHTER?!
60 Cameron Diaz - No. No. Not top 100 material at all. No.
61 Holly Valance - What? Is she still around AT ALL anymore? Haven't heard of her in years.
62 Vanessa Hudgens - Some Disney girl that showed her tits? Fair enough.
63 Alexa Chung - Hate her. She's okay looking (but way too skinny) personality is foul, not funny at all.
64 Ali Larter - Hotter than Hayden Panettiere, I'd say.
65 Emily Scott - Boring...
66 Kimberley Walsh - NO MORE GIRLS ALOUD, ARGH.
67 Milla Jovovich - Liked her in the Fifth Element!
68 Nadine Velazquez - Not googling, can't be pissed.
69 Mandy Moore - Alright...
70 Sienna Miller - Pretty. Could be a bit higher, actually.
71 Fearne Cotton - No, stupid rating.
72 Eva Green - Yes, beautiful. Should be higher.
73 Tricia Helfer - Should be higher. AND SHE HAS A PLAN.
74 Stacey Keibler - Still around? She's hot.
75 Petra Nemcova - So...many...models...
76 Chelsy Davy - No. Just no.
77 Denise Richards - No.
78 Gwen Stefani - WHAT? Who would vote for her?!
79 Mary Elizabeth Winstead - Not sure who she is, looks okay on google.
80 Agyness Deyn - Looks like a boy. Which isn't always a complain coming from me.
81 Anna Kournikova - Who? So 1999.
82 Michelle Ryan - Her looks have definitely improved since she was ranked 4, so this is a lot more sensible, but there's still plenty of hotter girls who aren't on the list at all.
83 Katherine Jenkins - Too wholesome.
84 Katie Holmes - Like her years ago. Not so much now.
85 Gloria de Piero - Not googling.
86 Ellen Page - YES. Cute as fuck. Would be way higher on my list (and will be on the Wacky hot 100) but, to be fair, I have weird autistic tastes. But I'm happy she made the list, a pleasant surprise.
87 Hannah Spearritt - NO!
88 Odette Yustman - jkgfmk
89 Kristen Bell - Too low. Glad she's on the list, I suppose, but she is blatantly hotter than Hayden Panettiere, who is in the top ten...
90 Amber Heard - Don't know her, seems okay.
91 Kirstie Allsopp - This year's comedy entry, I guess.
92 April Scott - This is sapping my strength.
93 Kylie Minogue - Never liked her much...but she's way hotter than her sister.
94 Billie Piper - How does Billie (who I like) make the list but the CEARLY hotter Freema Agyman doesn't? Don't want to cry RACISM but about 95 of the girls on the list are white...
95 Dannii Minogue - Get out.
96 Nicola Roberts - The final insult.
97 Roxanne McKee - Hollyoaks slut. Not bad.
98 Victoria Beckham - WHY?
99 Marion Cotillard - Who? Seems alright, a bit more interesting than some of the others. I guess her fans spammed the list or something.
100 Holly Willoughby - Nice tits, vacant face.

Probably not the worst list ever, but still crap. No Anna, no Trachtenboobies, no Summer Glau (you'd think TSCC would be enough to get her on...put Lena Headey on too), no Emilie de Ravin. NO SOUL.
 
Look at the freudian slip in the thread title!
 
I disapprove of sexists in the MF! :rwmad:

yes, anything to avoid work.
 
LOL@ Victoria Beckham!!!

SOMEBODY give her a sandwich!!!!
 
At this point I'm just goint to assume Megan Fox is just a REALLY bad typo for Michelle Trachtenberg, because Megan Fox looks like a skeleton that has been sitting in a bath of coffee for a week.
 
1 Megan Fox - She is nicce, but No 1 nice? No.
2 Jessica Alba - At times she's nice, but at the moment she's just a skull on a stick.
3 Keeley Hazell - Nice tits. A definite lad's mad no 3, but nah.
4 Elisha Cuthbert - I think she's fit,
5 Hayden Panettiere - Too young.
6 Scarlett Johansson - Yeah
7 Cheryl Cole - Too thin. Too fake. Too fucking Cashley Cole.
8 Hilary Duff - HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAH Yeah, right
9 Angelina Jolie - Never done anything for me
10 Keira Knightley - Gone right off her
11 Rihanna - Fantastic body. Yeah
12 Kate Beckinsale - Does nothing for me again
13 Jessica Biel - I've always like her
14 Eva Longoria - A little too orange
15 Alessandra Ambrosio - Who?
16 Rachel Bilson - Can't remember what she looks like
17 Beyonce Knowles - Nice curves,
18 Gemma Atkinson - Yeah, right
19 Jennifer Love Hewitt - HAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHA
20 Christina Aguilera - Hmph.
21 Adriana Lima - Who?
22 Gisele Bundchen - Too thin
23 Ana Ivanovic - Yeah, awwigh I spose
24 Sophia Bush - Who?
25 Salma Hayek - Looking her age now, and inexplicable position
26 Jessica Simpson - bLUEEEEUUUUUUURGH
27 Jennifer Aniston - WHAT IN THE BLUE HELL????
28 Charlize Theron - Nah. I don't like her face.
29 Rachel Stevens - Should be higher.
30 Maria Sharapova - Shut her up, and yeah.
31 Britney Spears - Yeah. Fitter than Kelly Brook ?>?> FUCK OFF
32 Sarah Michelle Gellar - Not what she was, but still fuckable
33 Emma Watson - No way. Too young. Too man face.
34 Kelly Brook - Below Emma Watson, Jennifer Aniston & Hilarf Duff? FUCK OFF. No 1.
35 Eva Mendes - I would.
36 Sarah Harding - No. I hate all of Girls Aloud.
37 Avril Lavigne - I think I would, 'cos I reckon she's an animal in bed
38 Olga Kurylenko - Who?
39 Natalie Portman - SHOULD BE HIGHER.
40 Heidi Klum - Too old and fucks a seal.
41 Lindsay Lohan - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
42 Bar Refaeli - Who?
43 Nadine Coyle - No thanks.
44 Alesha Dixon - Yeah, if we can shut her up.
45 Katherine Heigl - Should be higher than this.
46 Halle Berry - Yeah.
47 Monica Bellucci - Yeah.
48 Kristen Kreuk - Yeah.
49 Nicole Scherzinger - Who?
50 Rachel McAdams - M'kay.
51 Emma Griffiths - Couldn't care less
52 Carmen Electra - Oh fuck off already.
53 Shakira - Should be higher.
54 Evangeline Lilly - Should be higher.
55 Abbey Clancy - Who?
56 Mischa Barton - I can't fucking stand her.
57 Jennifer Garner - I still like her.
58 Marissa Miller - Forgotton who she is.
59 Charlotte McKenna - Forgotton who she is too
60 Cameron Diaz - I'd still do her,
61 Holly Valance - Yeah, so long as she never ruins an episode of Prison Break again.
62 Vanessa Hudgens - Oh go away.
63 Alexa Chung - Who?
64 Ali Larter - Should be higher.
65 Emily Scott - Who?
66 Kimberley Walsh - Nah.
67 Milla Jovovich - Never really done anything for me.
68 Nadine Velazquez - Nah.
69 Mandy Moore - Nah.
70 Sienna Miller - Nope.
71 Fearne Cotton - She looks a bit like the missus but is 500 times more annoying
72 Eva Green - You would
73 Tricia Helfer - Oh yes. After a chin reduction.
74 Stacey Keibler - Wow - never expected to see her in here, but should be higher really.
75 Petra Nemcova - Who
76 Chelsy Davy - Who
77 Denise Richards - No way. Over the hill, indeed never really had it.
78 Gwen Stefani - Sometimes.
79 Mary Elizabeth Winstead - Who?
80 Agyness Deyn - Who?
81 Anna Kournikova - People still remember her? I still would.
82 Michelle Ryan - Nope
83 Katherine Jenkins - Who?
84 Katie Holmes - FUCKOFF
85 Gloria de Piero - Who?
86 Ellen Page - She's cute, but way too young
87 Hannah Spearritt - Who?
88 Odette Yustman - Who?
89 Kristen Bell - Oh yes.
90 Amber Heard - WHO
91 Kirstie Allsopp - WHO
92 April Scott - WHO
93 Kylie Minogue - Over the hill
94 Billie Piper - Nope
95 Dannii Minogue - Nope
96 Nicola Roberts - Oh go away. Not in the top million
97 Roxanne McKee - Who?
98 Victoria Beckham - WHAT>!>!!!!!!
99 Marion Cotillard - NO
100 Holly Willoughby - Who?


This is getting harder. I hardly know most of these people. The list is jism, really.
 
Jism on toast.
 
What's the US list?

ANY TRACHTENBERG? THERE'D BETTER BE TRACHTENBERG GOD DAMNIT.
 
There are a lot of names on that list that I don't recognize. I really can't believe some of the ones I do know are on there.. Brittney Spears? come on.
 
US LIST

1. Megan Fox
2. Jessica Biel
3. Jessica Alba
4. Elisha Cuthbert
5. Scarlett Johansson
6. Emmanuelle Chirqui
7. Hilary Duff
8. Trisha Helfer
9. Blake Lively
10. Kate Beckinsale
11. Hayden Panettiere
12. Angelina Jolie
13. Eva Mendes
14. Rihanna
15. Erica Durance
16. Lindsay Lohan
17. Kim Kardashian
18. Cameron Diaz
19. Ali Larter
20. Beyonce Knowles
21. Kaley Cuoco
22. Heidi Klum
23. Sienna Miller
24. Kristen Bell
25. Natalie Portman
26. Vanessa Hudgens
27. Selita Ebanks
28. Keira Knightly
29. Maria Sharapova
30. Rachel Bilson
31. Gisele Bundchen
32. Kate Bosworth
33. Halle Berry
34. Carmen Electra
35. Jessica Simpson
36. Adriana Lima
37. Evangeline Lilly
38. Katherine McPhee
39. Christina Aguilera
40. Cheryl Burke
41. Kristin Kreuk
42. Jennifer Aniston
43. Charlize Theron
44. Heidi Montag
45. Anna Faris
46. Shannon Elizabeth
47. Alessandra Ambrosio
48. Mayra Veronica
49. Katherine Heigl
50. Keeley Hazell
51. Anne Hathaway
52. Jenny McCarthy
53. Marisa Miller
54. Kate Hudson
55. Shakira
56. Tara Reid
57. Jennifer Love Hewitt
58. Cassie Ventura
59. Eva Longoria
60. Fergie
61. Ellen Page
62. Nicole Scherzinger
63. Grace Park
64. Stacy Keibler
65. Katie Holmes
66. Leeann Tweeden
67. Liv Tyler
68. Kari Byron
69. Christina Ricci
70. Mischa Barton
71. Amanda Bynes
72. Elizabeth Banks
73. Carrie Underwood
74. Kelly Hu
75. Pam Anderson
76. Rachelle Leah
77. Paris Hilton
78. Karina Smirnoff
79. Christine Lakin
80. Audrina Patridge
81. Mila Kunis
82. Alyssa Milano
83. Jenna Fischer
84. Maria Kanellis
85. Olivia Munn
86. Reese Witherspoon
87. Madonna
88. Shamron Moore
89. Rachel McAdams
90. Summer Glau
91. Ashley Collette
92. Maggie Gyllenhaal
93. Whitney Able
94. Olga Kurylenko
95. Lauren Conrad
96. Carmit Bachar
97. Amber Heard
98. The Olly Girls
99. Victoria Beckham
100. Britney Spears

BRIEF COMMENTS: Tricia ranked much higher (with horrible name misspelling!), Summer made it at least, Britney's ranking is a lot more sensible, what the fuck is an Olly Girl?
 
Natalie higher, Kristen MUCH higher (good), Hilary Duff and Megan Fox in the same place in both lists pretty much confirms at the whole thing is a fix.
 
The US list is much better if only because they realise that Jessica Biel is far far hotter than Jessica Alba.

And Summer.
 
Yeah, I don't know who Megan Fox is.. and Hilary Duff isn't that popular with the teens anymore. I did recognize a lot more names on the US list, can't believe Victoria Beckham and Britney are on either list, they're both gross.

OOHHH she's the transformers chick.
 
I agree about Megan Fox...FUGLY TATTOOS DO NOT MAKE YOU SEXY.
 
This thread is about 20 posts away from getting a Kelly Brook image explosion TO PROVE MY POINT.
 
I triple dog dare you!!!!!
 
Madonna on the US list. LOL.
 
madonna is from Brooklyn NY, whatchoo bangin bout?
 
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