Freestyle Lost thread

[CaptainWacky]

(Kate is sitting on the beach. Sawyer walks over.)

Sawyer: Hey Freckles, sitting on the beah, are you?

Kate: You disgusting pervert, go away!

Sawyer: That ain't very nice, little missy!

(Jack springs over and hits Sawyer in the back of the head with a steel bar.)

Jack: Leave her alone!

Michael: You got what you deserved, Sawyer!

Hurley: Yeah dude!

Shannon: Has anyone seen my legs?

Jin: Hoochie moochie boochie!

(The unconcsious Sawyer has a flashback to when he's in a dentist's waiting room.)

Nurse: The dentist will see you now, Mister Sawyer.

Sawyer: Thanks, sweetie!

(He gets up revealing that LOCKE is in the waiting room too!!!!!!!!!! Flash forward.)

Sawyer: Oww, my head.

(Jack is standing over him holding a gun.)

Jack: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't blow your fucking brains out?

Sawyer: Umm...I didn't actually do anything?

Jack: Not good enough!

TO BE CONTINUED

 

[CaptainWacky]

(Walt comes running out of the jungle.)

Walt: Help, something chased me!

Michael: Did you see what it is?

Walt: No, it won't be revealed for another 8 episodes. And even then it'll still be kind of vague. But it chased me!

Locke: Well whatever that thing was, I'm going to hunt and kill it.

Sawyer: I'm coming too!

Jack: I'm still holding this gun, you know!

Kate: Give Jack one good reason why he should let you go.

Jack: Yeah, what Kate said goes, as usual!

Sawyer: Because I'm the one having flashbacks this week!

WHOOOOSH

(Sawyer enters the dental surgery.)

Dentist: TAKE A SEAT, MWAHAHAHA!

(Sawyer punches the dentist out! The nurse smiles, sexily.)

Nurse: You broke one of my HUSBAND'S teeth just there.

Sawyer: I reckons I did! Now let's have sex on his very dentist's chair!

Nurse: Okay!

WHOOOOOOSH

Jack: Okay, good enough.

TO BE CONTINUED

 

[CaptainWacky]

WOW, this was really accurate.

 

[Caitriona]

Except that Clair would have screamed about her baby and Charlie would have come to her rescue looking at her with lust in his heart--and pants.

 

[CaptainWacky]

AND HEROIN BETWEEN HIS TOES.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Lost was a bit different in season one.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Why didn't Sawyer shout "son of a BITCH!" when he got hit with the steel bar?!

 

[CaptainWacky]

IT WAS SEASON ONE

 

[Fuddlemiff]

What about Vincent? Shouldn't he have been sniffing Hurley's crotch or something?

 

[Cassie]

Yes, because that is where Hurley keeps the spare peanut butter.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

That's VILE! Here, have some karma!

 

[CaptainWacky]

Vincent is the Smoke Monster omg.