Gazza!

[CaptainWacky]

http://www.dailyexpress.co.uk/posts/view/186135/Paul-Gascoigne-turns-up-in-Rothbury/

TROUBLED former footballer Paul Gascoigne, 43, bizarrely turned up at the police cordon in Rothbury last night – claiming he was Moat’s friend and could act as a mediator.

The ex-England star, whose battles with drink and drugs have been well-documented, arrived at the scene with a can of lager, some chicken, a fishing rod, a mobile phone and a dressing gown for Moat. His arrival stunned onlookers and police, who claimed Gascoigne did not actually know Moat.

In a strange slurring rant, Gascoigne, said he knew Moat from when he worked as a bouncer in Newcastle. He said: “I didn’t come here for a publicity stunt. I was sitting in the house with nothing to do and I felt sorry for him. I got in a taxi and went to stay in a B&B.

“All I have to do is walk through the moors shouting, ‘Moaty it’s Gazza.’ Someone has given him drugs and made him like that. I’ll speak to him – I am a good friend of his. I’ve known him for years. I’d like him to talk to me one to one. If he goes to jail, I’ll go to jail and visit him a couple of times a month.”

Gascoigne’s agent was shocked to learn he was in Rothbury. Kenny Shepherd said: “He’s doing what? I am sitting having an evening meal in Mallorca. I’m speechless.”

LEGEND! Best nutter ever.

 

[Gagh]

His intervention worked!

 

[whisky]

That's quality insanity right there

 

[headvoid]

I thought it was a joke when I heard.

The shame is, there is a joke in here somewhere.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I think EVERYONE thought it was a joke at first. The best part is his agent's response.

 

[Tisiphone]

Well, they didn't mention that on BBC World News when I was captioning that story this morning.

 

[Mentalist]

Now I feel stupid since I just posted this story and lamented the fact that there were no Moaty threads! I should have looked closer.


The youtube of the radio interview with him is in that thread.

 

[Mentalist]

Seriously, it's stories like this that make me convinced I'm living in the fucking Matrix.

You could not make this shit up.

 

[whisky]

I would have paid good money to see him do it.

"Away man pet, its Gaa..hic,.. Gazza! Ya divnt wanna shoot more people bonnie lad, it jushst gets in the way of beer pet man woman man, ah ya hungry pet, I could murder a chinese"

Bang, as Moat shoots asian looking police officer.

"Whadda ya doing man, thats a red card man, now you wont play in the finals, waaaaaa"

Moat shoots Gazza, then self.

 

[Gagh]

I think Gazza should attempt to intervene every major incident.

 

[headvoid]

He has been employed for years to keep things calm.

Many a time, he has been sent to settle unrest in the Kashmir area armed only with a dressing gown and a can of lager.

I am surprised he is in the North East as recently he went fishing with Kim Jong Il who he described as "just a really straight bloke, I know he sank that boat like, butits understandable ya kno"

This is the first time his role has become public.

 

[CaptainWacky]

He'll get you some chicken.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

It's a pity he was indisposed when Cumbria needed his help last month.