HOUSEMATE RANKINGS

[CaptainWacky]

Since it's a week in...though I'm not quite sure about any of this yet, really.

1) John James - I think he's been quite entertaining and funny. But he needs to stopy "analysing" things with the vile Govan.
2) Caoimhe - She IS funny okay you wouldn't know from the highlights but her and Shabby and Ife stay up late every night and do funny things and stuff on the LIVE FEED alright and also she's intelligent and doesn't like the Pope and ALSO pale breasts so there.
3) Sunshine - Quite a tournaround as I thought she'd be the first to go, but I think everyone has adjusted to her Sunshineness. She is a nice person and quirky and quite intelligent and funny. I'd tickle her.
4) Ben - Early favourite and I still find him entertaining, but he's gone all paranoid and constantly goes around trying to make sure he's still friends with everyone. Plus he did lie over the onions.
5) Mario - He did exceptionally well in the Mole task but I'm not sure if he'll be as good for the rest of the series.
6) Shabby - See, I understand why people find her annoying and overly-dramatic beause she IS both those things but she's also quite funny and shouldn't be out first.
7) Ife - She's a nice girl. Not much else to her.
8) Josie- She's amusing but she's sleeping more and more. Her cock/fart jokes will get boring soon.
9) Steve - He ain't got no legs!
10) Corin - I recognise that she's a nice person but I really don't enjoy watching her and her chirpy platitutdes.
11) Rachael - She's not like a SUPER bitch or anything but she is naturally bitchy and sadly she knows about it now and will probably stay in for a long time.
12) Nathan - Does he even exist?
13) Dave - He loves everyone, man! He just doesn't think you should be allowed to get married!
14) Govan - He is more evil than ten Hitlers.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

1) Mario - I recognize that he's not going to be as clever with the rest of the season as he was with the Mole challenge. Slightly daft. But he's still my sweet baboo.
2) John James - The show is his to win or lose. Will he be smart enough to realize this and chill out?

6) Caoimhe -
6) Ife -
6) Corin -
6) Josie - Time will tell for me among these 4. Not enough of an impression made yet, just going by the shows.

7) Shabby - Twisted, but she can be entertaining, I'll give her that. Sad to see her go so early.
8) Ben - He's going to overthink and overtalk himself into a corner. Not built for this.
9) Steve - He ain't got no eye neither!
10) Nathan - Who?
11) Sunshine - Not doing it for me. Sorry.
12) Rachael - The world already has one Sasha Fierce. No need for duplicates.
13) Dave - Too squirrelly to be loveable. Off to the monastery with him.
14) Govan - Die you pig.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I think Nathan cooks or something.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

HE'S THE KLINGON CHEF!

 

[The Tomtrek]

1) John James - He's cool on a stick and he also hates the people I hate (except Govan but maybe that will change)
2) Sunshine - OKAY maybe I like her more because everyone's so mean about her all the time, and yes she can take things too personally and things but I think she's a real person who is nice and not an amazing bitch unlike some.
3) Caoimhe - A nice person who seems nice and is nice and looks nice.
4) Ben - He's not become the annoying posho people thought him to be and seems pretty good!
5) Shabby - Loud, annoying, BUT LOVABLE.
6) Steve - seems like a nice, down to Earth bloke who's also the closest we will get to having a robot in the house.
7) Mario - good when he was the mole. Now though? Hmmm.
8) Corin - everything apart from her looks and voice is okay.
9) Ife - She's not really done anything that I've seen.
10) Josie - Chripy, I guess, but could get annoying later.
11) Dave - I don't find him as evil as some other people but really now.
12) Nathan - What is Nathan?
13) Rachael - Horrible bitch who is full of herself and seems to hate anyone who doesn't instantly obay everything she says just because she looks like a fatter Beyoncé.
14) Govan - Literally Satan.

 

[CaptainWacky]

We should all leave Nathan off next week as an ironic joke.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

1) John - Quite possibly the perfect man. I love how much he hates Beyoncé and feel guilty now for writing him off as a misogynistic himbo when he first went in.
2) Mario - Even if he doesn't do anything else spectacular he still seems like a generally nice, upbeat kinda guy. I wish he'd stop going on about Ben, though. It's embarrassing.
3) Caoimhe - Okay, I haven't seen as much of her as you guys, but I dislike her the least out of all the following people and if you all like her then she must be pretty good.
4) Ben - His poshness isn't annoying, but his second guessing is. Generally nice, though.
5) Josie - Toss up between her and Corin for 5th place. They're both nice and friendly, but I find Josie more entertaining even though I think she's putting a lot of it on.
6) Corin - Nice and I believe it's genuine but it really does get annoying.
7) Steve - He's okay, but if it weren't for all his missing body parts he wouldn't be very interesting. Should be at home watching the world cup with a beer.
8) Ife - Most interesting thing she's done so far is not finish a sentence. Maybe she'll be really entertaining when all the "big characters" are gone.
9) Sunshine - Sorry, but she really is that annoying. If I had to share a house with her one of us would be leaving through the nearest window.
10) Rachael - She's a cow, but...
11) Dave - His whole raison d'etre is his religious views, but they're fucking bullshit. I hate gimmicky housemates like this. Go away.
12) Shabby - Tired of her swearing between every other word and flying into rages every day. She's like a completely inarticulate version of Nikki from BB7.
13) Gayvan - I've had more than enough of his constant wittering on about the experience of being in the house and the minute details of Sunshine's personality. How people can sit there and listen to him without battering him to death with the closest object I don't know.

 

[Mentalist]

1) John James - At this point he is my clear favourite in the house. He hasn't followed the pack and forms his own "RIGHT" opinions on people like Racheal plus he's entertaining and doesn't seem ludicrously up himself like almost everyone else. He's also self deprecating which is a rarity in BB. Could win the whole show if he doesn't fuck it up... Will probably fuck it up.

2) Mario - Was great as the mole and has an expected drop off now he's not doing the secret task but he's still alright in my books and he keeps second spot because he made the first 4 days of the show.

3) Caoimhe - She is pretty and seems genuinely nice but I want to see more of her personality. She's been a bit quiet. FIT THOUGH.

4) Ben - So far defying the odds of being highly annoying because he's some posh toff. Seems paranoid and unsure of himself but seems like a decent bloke.

5) Steve - He had a brick removed from his head.

6) Sunshine - I do like her but she is really annoying. She's socially inept and has been singled out but the way she doesn't let anything drop and repeats her woes over and over again is grating on me. Instead of taking Ben's apology which was sincere she refused to drop it and kept at him again and again complaining with an expression of a slapped fish. She's needs to lighten up big time. Not a bad person though.

7) Dave - Creepy and weird and even though he is a batshit crazy God squad muppet I didn't think he handled himself that badly when it came to the gay marriage conversation. He doesn't agree with it and that's because he's a moron God squaddie but we knew that before and he hasn't shoved his views down anyone's throat. OK, I don't really like him but he has been one of the more interesting housemates.

8) Ife - Seems nice. Hasn't done anything though. Meh.

9) Shabby - I don't like her. Her tantrums are pathetic and she is quick to turn on people. Can be somewhat entertaining though. I admit that her going first will make the house less interesting.

10) Corin - Seems nice despite being fucking retarded but hasn't done much yet.

11) Josie - Loud and garish. Not my type of person at all and could get very annoying. Also hasn't done enough to move up the list.

12) Nathan - As has been said before he's blended in to the walls and any time he has spoken he's sounded stupid and his eyebrow gives me cold sweats.

13) Rachael - Very pretty girl but she fucking knows it and has been bitchy since day one. Totally up herself and basically just a rather nasty piece of work. She's not as bad as previous BBitches YET but considering it's only the first week she's been awful.

14) Govan - CUNT.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Caoimhe and Shabby stayed up like all last night last night and Cao did show a lot of her persoanlity BUT THAT'S FIOR LIVE FEED VIEWRS ONLY LOL and she talked about hating the pope once too. Anyway she seems to be a bit down now and all the guys are turning against the girls so you'll probably never see her again.

 

[CaptainWacky]

(Standard "ON THE LIVE FEED" disclaimer following every ranking.)

1) Sunshine - She's a classic BB housemate. Funny (often unintentionally), quirky, vulernable, nice (look how she went to comfort Govan after Rachael was evicted despite what a cunt he was) and will never make it to the final BECAUSE NONE OF YOU UNDERSTAND (except Tomtrek.) Plus she has a nice bum.
2) John James - Despite his unbelievable temper he still has a lot of likable qualities and is one of the most watchable housemates. His friendship/flirtation with Sunshine is really entertaining me now. JUST DON'T GET HIM FUCKING ANGRY, OKAY?
3) Shabby - Controversial choice and the showmance with Caoimhe is starting to grate, but she's still giving a lot to the show. She was brilliant in the Tree task with Ben ("you'd make a great Dick!")
4) Corin - Really don't want to like her because of her appearance, but she's had a great week and will definitely win the show. Will get annoying soon though.
5) Ife - Seriously, she's pretty funny (on the live feed) when she starts rambling about things.
6) Caoimhe - Yeah, I'm over her. Not that interesting or a patricularly good housemate and spends all her time with Shabby. Like literally all her time. Still fit though.
7) Ben - He's a total twat but there's still some entertainment value in his ridculousness.
8) Govan - Yeah he's a complete bitch but sometimes he actually seems decent. And you've got to give him credit for setting off the whole Ben/Shabby thing. But he's out on Friday.
9) Mario - Completely off him after his super childish reaction to being nominated.
10) Steve - He's actually really really boring.
11) Josie - Not feeling her anymore. There's something sinister and calculating under the surface. Watch out for her jealousy over JJ and Sunshine's friendship (the highlights will probably catch onto this in about a week.)
12) Dave- "I love the Lord, me!" One of the worst housemates ever.
13) Nathan - It's not just that he does nothing but when he DOES do something it's unpleasant and vulgar. AND PUT A SHIRT ON.

 

[Mentalist]

THE FOLLOWING IS BASED ON THE HIGHLIGHT SHOWS


1 Corin - Wat you say? She may stereotypically stand for everything I hate but she's just a lovely person who doesn't bitch and genuinely cares for people and gives good advice. Look how nice she was to Govan. On top of that she is really funny. When she went off for ages in the Diary Room babbling on about nothing I laughed. OK. Will she be my favourite to the end of the show? Probably not but the last few highlight shows have shown what a good person she is and she's entertaining so for now she tops the list.

2 John James - To be honest he would be further down the list usually but I'm not feeling any great affection for any of the HM's at the moment and JJ at least brings a lot to the table as a HM. The way he flies off the handle at women is disconcerting and really uncalled for. That said he's clearly a pretty messed up bloke and has a real aversion to the type of female bitchiness that we see so often on BB. Also the fact that he would have LITERALLY murdered Bea if he had been on last year makes him alright in my book. Has probably fucked his chances of winning the show.

3Sunshine - I do like her and she looked cute in her bikini but there is something extremely off-putting about her bipolar personality and she can be very sullen and her whining and inability to drop the tiniest of issues stops me from embracing her fully. With all that said I am drawn to the fact that she's a bit insane and she has lots of good qualities and when she is happy she's fun to watch and a billion times more likable than when she goes all depressive and difficult for no reason.


4 Ben - What a complete muppet this guy is but he is BB Gold through and through. He is bitchy and completley clueless and loves to go off on tangents that last forever but he is unintentionally hilarious and completley lost as a human being. Weird guy but fun to watch.

5 Steve - Doesn't do much admittedly but I still like him and he will have his moment to shine soon and we will all love him. TRUST.

6 Mario - Ehh... I've barely noticed him the last few days.

7 Caoimhe - She has been sucked in to the gravitational pull of Shabby and they are together all the time and make no effort to talk to anyone else and I find her boring. She's alright though and I don't dislike her but she's not doing it for me.

8 Ife - Nice enough but.. WHO IS SHE?

9 Josie - Don't like her at all. I thought she was cool when she made an effort to patch things up with JJ even though JJ was more to blame but that's about the only positive thing I have to say about her. Meh.

10 Dave - I don't like him at all but I think he is good value as a BB house mate. He is starting to grate on me more and more though.

11 Govan - I REALLY don't like him and he will not be forgiven for being a super bitch right out of the gate and he clearly relishes other people arguing and then smirking from the sidelines but he did show his human side when he broke down with Corin in the snug. He is clearly highly confused and even though it is patently obvious he is gay he doesn't seem to have accepted that fact himself yet which is odd on BB where everyone is so ready to shout and holler about their sexual preferences.

12 Nathan - What a cock nose.

13 Shabby - I'm sorry. Yes, she is great value as a house mate and I did find it bordering on hilarious when she had to do OPERATION BEST FRIEND with Ben and she was great doing it but I simply cannot stand her in any way shape or form. Everything about her personality rubs me the wrong way. We need Marcus to be parachuted in to the garden just to call her a mingebag. FUCK HER.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I thought you'd stopped watching, to be honest!

I'm hoping they show Sunshine's fun side more on the highlights now as she seems comfortable and more accepted by the group (other than when they bitch about her behind or back or talk about her as if she's not in the room, of course), but I'm not holding my breath.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

1. John - Despite his ramblings, use of the F-word til it loses all meaning and his belief that bees aren't animals, he's my favourite. It also helps that I don't really like the others much.

2. Josie - I like her jaunty banter and I don't actually notice her talking about cocks all that much. IM SURE SHE DOES IT ON THE LIVE FEED THOUGH.

3. Mawio - He doesn't do much, I admit, and his affection and arse kissing of Ben is bemusing, but over all he's a nice chap and I'm glad he's there.

4. Shabby - Surprisingly. I mean, she does say "heinous" way too much and she is far too impressed by herself and she does go on about Keema way too much, but she's still pretty funny and the task yesterday really raised her up in my estimations.

5. Ben - Come Friday he'll be my least favourite housemate. Annoying, tedious and commands way too much attention in the house. I admit he is entertaining with it, though.

6. Corin - Provided one of my favourite quotes so far. Genuinely nice. Genuinely annoying. Wouldn't want to be stuck in a lift with her.

7. Gayvan - The breakdown he had the other day showed he has a heart, but he's too much of a bitch for me to really feel for him. Yet another housemate that does a disservice to gay people, though that's partly down to BB only ever picking the horrid ones.

8. Dave - Had to edit this post to include him, so he must be very memorable and worthwhile in the house! Has stupid, prejudicial views, which might be excusable if he didn't constantly air them among the people he's discriminating against, before going on to completely contradict these deeply held views. Total mug.

?. Steve/Keema/Norman/Ife/Sunshine - None of these people interest me.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

WORK IS REALLY BUSY TODAY BUT I'M WORKING ON MINE, OKAY???

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

The following is based on partial highlight shows, occasional live feed glances, and of course theft from other rankings: (also, I wrote #1 and #2 at around 2PM, and wasn't able to continue until after 11PM OKAY? Plus I didn't get to see tonight's highlight show yet...)

1) Mario - Actually, he isn't my number one right now. But I believe once Ben goes, the Moley that we loved at first sight will slowly begin to re-emerge. And honestly, I'm not unconditionally attached to anyone else. But Ben better go soon, or else all bets are off. Even my gay patience is wearing thin.

2) Shabby - I KNOW SHADDUP! But here's the thing: In a house where so few impress me, she's chalking up points merely by showing up. She won't last, so I'm giving Shabby her due now as a creator of "good TV."

3) Sunshine - THIS DOESN'T MEAN I LIKE HER, but she's also making some good TV out there. Keep up the crazy, girl!

4) Steve - He's 4th because even though I can barely stand to look at him and he does nothing for the show, I still contend that his metal feet are going to tiptoe across the finish line at the end.

5) Ife - Agree with above assessments. I like her. Someday I may find out why.

6) JJ - Useless pouty mook. Easy on the eyes. Shut up and get naked, ya little brat.

7) Corin - Might have been higher, but anything perky seems to get on my nerves today. FAIL!

8) Caoimhe - She should probably be higher, and she's going to last, but this whole middle group are still semi-interchangeable for me.

9) Josie - DO SOMETHING. But she's not evil or anything.

10) Ben - Once Govan is gone, I'd really like Ben gone, maybe even before Dave. Mario is hypnotized, and since BB isn't going to undo the spell for him, we simply need to remove the cause. He's on the wrong reality show.

11) Dave - Totally needs to go, but isn't doing deliberate evil, other than criminally misinterpreting the Old Testament.

12) Nathan - They will keep him around for ballast in case they hit an iceberg. I would sooner give the money to Bob Righter.

13) Govan - Gollum must NOT get the ring.

 

[The Tomtrek]

Right here's mine YOU SLAGS.

1) Sunshine - LOOK AT TOMTREK AGREEING WITH WACKY. But I like Sunshine. I think she's nice. And that's all the matters.
2) John James - He's mental as anything but when he calms down he's a great guy, I think.
3) Corin - As everyone else had said, if it weren't for her looking like everything I hate about how some women look, she'd be much higher. But she is actually really nice and things NICE.
4) Shabby - She's like an 8 year old boy trapped inside the body of a hot girl who is trying to look like an 8 year old boy. She's annoying and angry but you just want to take off her hat and give her a hug (I don't want to hug 8 year old boys).
5) Mario - I felt sorry for him when he was put up by Shabby. Although he mopes after Ben too much at he just wants everyone to be nice to each other.
6) Ife - I feel like I like her more now but I can't remember anything she's done that would make me like her more.
7) Josie - SHE'S ALWAYS UP FER A LAFF AINT SHE
8) Ben - He insults people and then apologises and then insults then while he's apologising to them so he has to apologise again. I mean he's not EVIL but really.
9) Caoimhe - Ummm, she's alright. I mean. Um. She's a bit... I don't know. Hmmm.
10) Steve - Again he's not bad he's just there.
11) Dave - His views are wrong, he loves Jesus too much but he keeps coming out with wonderfully bizarre statements like "But what if those UFOs are ACTUALLY fallen angels looking for your DNA???" which is why I hope he doesn't go.
12) Nathan - What is Nathan?!?
13) Govan - Every time he's on screen I look away. Every time I hear his whiny voice I want to punch something. He has no redeeming features, and I hate his fucking hat.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Nathan has hairy shoulders.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

The hair on Nathan's hairy shoulders has hair.

 

[CaptainWacky]

1) Sunshine - No contest. It's ironic that the one the other housmeates label as an "attention seeker" is probably the most genuine person in there, completely unafraid to be herself no matter how much the others make fun of her and bully her. She's quirky and naturally amusing and just a generally nice person. If she goes on Friday then BB is over for me forever. "I don't want to look like a nice person, I want to be a person who has a crisp sandwich."
2) Mario - He's a nice guy.
3) Ben - He's a twat, but he's not EVIL or anything and he's unintentionally hilarious (his penalty kick, trying to sing Eminem.)
4) Shabby - It's annoying how she's really intelligent and often makes great points but then ruins it all with the silly airtime tantrums and hanging out with the most evil woman alive.
5) Corin - She's a nice person but does she really have any close friendships or relationships in the house?
6) David - The way he wound up John James was pretty amusing and he gets credit for putting Caoimhe up.
7) John James - Still amusing sometimes, but let's face it, he's a total knobnose.
8) Steve - Yes, we get it, he has metal legs. Anything else to him?
9) Ife - Weak-willed sheep with an annoying voice.
10) Josie - Greedy, fake who isn't as funny as she thinks she is. Don't want to see her anymore.
11) Caoimhe - The most evil woman alive.
12) Nathan - Cunt.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Okay, so I hate them all and Sunshine will ALWAYS be number one in my heart (just ask me about the editing, I'll tell you!) but here we go anyway...

1) Ben - Yes he's a twat and not a team player and he'd probably literally steal candy from a baby, but he's the most entertaining one in there and he can be very amusing.
2) Mario - He's nice and he still defends Sunshine when she's brought up and she wants him to win so I like him.
3) Corin - She hams it up a bit but she's not as obnoxious as Brian Bello.
4) David - Did well taking over the task from Ben and makes some funny remarks. Shame he's insane.
5) John James - I don't even like him.
6) Steve - Does he even exist?
7) Josie - Stop sucking your thumb.
8) Caoimhe - Evil bitch but at least she put Nathan up.
9) Ife - I personally blame her for Sunshine's eviction. Annoying gossip.
10) Nathan - I like that, even though he lasted a week longer than Sunshine, he'll be forgotten instantly when he leaves on Friday and she'll still be remembered (by me and several thousand Twitter followers!)