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i eat dead cows and i like it

I had shrimp for breakfast.
 
I had chicken for lunch.

Having pizza for dinner.
 
I always thank the cow being in the sky when I eat beef. Or the greater goddess of piggie when I eat ham.
 
Homo Erectus said:
I always thank the cow being in the sky when I eat beef. Or the greater goddess of piggie when I eat ham.
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The Flying Spaghetti Monster when you eat spaghetti?
 
I do not support slaughterhouses where cows die horrible deaths. I only eat steak from cows who died peacefully in their sleep, or who had heart attacks during sex, or died without knowing they were doomed, like from snipers or ninjas.

I do not eat steak from cows who were strangled, stabbed, or killed in botched drug deals.

I just don't.
 
I only eat cows that were tipped. They're hilariously delicious.
 
I EAT DOLPHINS
 
I EAT MUMMIFIED JESUS
 
Loktar said:
I EAT MUMMIFIED JESUS
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I ate Jesus Pieces once, in church, before I found out you're supposed to be baptised before you get to eat those. I always wondered why Jesus made himself into crackers and wine, but not jalapeno bean dip. You'd think the last supper would have been a little bit more of a party. The guy WAS going away after all. It was the fucking Middle East; nobody thought to bring Hummus?
 
they used to make us do it in Catholic school even if you weren't baptised or catholic.
 
Even if you're baptized & Catholic, you're only supposed to take it if you've gone to confession and not sinned since.

I'm only a "wedding & funeral" Catholic now, so I take it mostly to piss off the clergy.
 
Homo Erectus said:
they used to make us do it in Catholic school even if you weren't baptised or catholic.
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Way I understood it, being an outsider and pretty much doomed to Hell for my misbegotten deeds anyway: kids are sinless and therefore able to accept Jesus Cheezits without baptism, confirmation, or whatever. However, at the confirmation age they inherit the original sin, that's why they gotta do the ceremony or they can't accept the sacrament after that. As an unconfirmed adult (shaddup) and non baptised sinner, I was not allowed by church doctrine to take sactrament, but as an inveterate rulebreaker and scofflaw I went ahead and ate one anyway. As I did not immediately burst into flame, I was somewhat mollified but a little disappointed at the same time. Would have been fucking aces to go out like that...
 
and that is why I love you dude.
 
And pork-and-beans PORK'N'BEANS! :pissed:
 
SPAM flavored SPAM?!

spam_waitress.jpg
 
DR DAVE EATS DUCKS AND DUCKS EAT DR DAVE. I HAVE SAID TOO MUCH.
 
DAMN YOU SIR!
 
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