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Does touching yourself count? What I have learned from the internet: All woman, shortly after waking up and accidentally having their breasts slip out of their nightgowns while stretching, massage lotion into their beautiful pimple free butts.
The only reason I watched the show at all was because the woman is obsessed with it. But after seeing the finale I was so angry I had to rape her for wasting my time.
However even rape can not make up for the Lost finale, so I think you came out ahead.