I Witnessed The Big Bang.

[Gagh]

It wasn't all that impressive. A bit of a light show, then I ran out of oxygen and died.

 

[Cloudy]

I agree, Stephen Hawking is gorgeous

 

[CaptainWacky]

It was me banging Christy Hemme up the arse.

 

[Mentalist]

I'm only 21 so I didn't see it.

 

[CaptainWacky]

God is only 21 billion and he saw it.

 

[Gagh]

I reckon he was around longer, as a BLACK MAN.

 

[Mentalist]

If thats true then I wish I was dead.

 

[CaptainWacky]

THis makes so lilttle sense that: NADIASITGNAS GL ASG sagjash gAGHFL DAG AgJO?NSAgl as tas SGHW TDAG AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Coulda been the Pamela Anderson-Tommy Lee video. He was indeed big, and they banged.

And people usually ended up blind after watching it.

 

[Gagh]

Not seen it. I have taste.

 

[Big Dick McGee]

According to the Jews, the earth is only 5,775 years old or some such. Their New Year is tomorrow.

Fucking Jews!

 

[Kerb Crawler]

According to the Bible, the earth started about 4400 BC, a little after lunch.

 

[feijuada]

My dad caused the big bang.

 

[Uranium 4]

No, he fucking did not.

 

[CaptainWacky]

If God exists then WHO CREATED GOD!?!?!

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Mike Nesmith's mom, right after she invented Liquid Paper.

 

[Kerb Crawler]

THEN WHO CREATED MIKE NESMITH'S MOM!?

We're peeling back layers now, people!

 

[Mentalist]

Fundamentalist Christianity - fascinating. These people actually believe that the the world is 12,000 years old. Swear to God. Based on what? I asked them.

"Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years."

Well how fucking scientific, okay. I didn't know that you'd gone to so much trouble. That's good. You believe the world's 12,000 years old?

"That's right."

Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?

"Uh-huh."

Dinosaurs.

You know the world is 12,000 years old and dinosaurs existed, they existed in that time, you'd think it would have been mentioned in the fucking Bible at some point.

"And lo Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus... with a splinter in his paw. And O the disciples did run a shriekin': 'What a big fucking lizard, Lord!' But Jesus was unafraid and he took the splinter from the brontosaurus's paw and the big lizard became his friend.

"And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch for O so many years inviting thousands of American tourists to bring their fat fucking families and their fat dollar bills.

"And oh Scotland did praise the Lord. Thank you Lord, thank you Lord. Thank you Lord."

 

[Kerb Crawler]

DINOSAURS ARE ANTI-RELIGION AND HATE TEH BLACKS!

 

[jack]

According to the Jews, the earth is only 5,775 years old or some such. Their New Year is tomorrow.

Fucking Jews!

I lost track after 5760. And fucking jew girls is a pretty good deal, especially the zaftig ones.