I would like a family that doesnt die

[whisky]

It doesn't seem that much to ask.

I found out last night that my only brother broke his back some time ago, and that's why he was in so much pain, and that they had more to tell him today when the morphine wore off and he could take it in.

Today they told him his spine, liver and other lower organs are riddled with cancer, and that if he has any family, they had better come see him soon.

Looks like I am a few weeks away from being an only child.

 

[Daystrom]

Im sorry to hear that Whisky, I really am.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

That's terrible to hear. I hope you can be there for him. I seem to remember you saying once you had a brother or step brother you were somewhat estranged from? I suppose now's the time to make up, if I'm remembering rightly.

And don't forget we're all here for you.

 

[Henoch]

Life is terrible & tragic...what can one do??

Accept fate.

Yes.

 

[whisky]

He lives in spain, and left england 6 years ago, hes a full brother, but we haven't been close in a long time.

His three kids have booked flights and are going early in the morning tomorrow, I'm not going to go.

If I went, every minute I spent with him, would be one less minute his wife and kids could spend with him, and they need the time more than I do.

I'll miss him to be sure, but I have been missing him for the last six years.

Either the enormity of what's going to happen hasn't sunk in properly yet, or the fact that I have a family of my own is cushioning the blow.

I guess its just not feeling real yet.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

I think you should still go if you can. Realistically, his wife and kids won't be there 24/7 unless he's really on his last legs. I don't think you'd be getting in the way of them spending time with him and it's not worth having second thoughts or regrets once it's too late.

 

[Mentalist]

I am really sorry to hear that, Rich. Life really is a cruel joke isn't it.

While I wouldn't presume to give you advice on a situation I don't know about I would agree with Fuddlemiff that you are going to have the rest of your life to potentially regret not going to see him and no chance of a do-over. So just keep your options open for now whether you will go or not.


Either way, good luck mate.

 

[classichummus]

Fuck I typed out a huge thoughtful reply and somehow the page died and I was no longer logged in, so I lost it. Shit, I'll rewrite it. Hang on.
Before I go to write it, I just want to say I am really sorry this is happening. My condolences go out to you and your family.

 

[Cassie]

I'm sorry to hear that Whisky. I hope you do get a chance to see him again.

 

[curiousa2z]

And don't forget we're all here for you.

that

and

please Rich, go see him. Find the money somehow and do it. His wife and family will NOT begrudge him spending time with his only brother, but as D said, you WILL always regret missing this opportunity to be with him. He will be happy to see you. Trust me.

 

[classichummus]

Again, I am really sorry this is happening. I lost my dad to cancer 3.5 years ago. I can somewhat relate with respect to losing a loved one to cancer. I think you should try and get out there if you can. I agree with Fuddlemiff and Mentalist. You don't get do-over's with this one. You don't want to regret this later, chances are you might. Even if you have grown apart from him, he is still your brother. It is obvious that you care about him. Try and see him while you still can.
My experience was different because it was my father, but through that I did learn a lot about the grieving process. Even though we don't know each other (even on TK) if you ever want to talk, I'll listen. Cancer is a strong passion of mine. I am very interested in it, which is why I am majoring in cellular biology with aspirations to become a cancer researcher for signet ring cell adenocarcinoma (the strain of colorectal cancer that took my dad). Do you know what type of cancer it is? It sounds like it is in a the final stage if it has metastasized that much. That is tough. My dad was diagnosed at stage 4 of 5 for colon cancer.
As Fuddlemiff said, your brother's wife and kids won't be able to stay with him 24/7 not because they will need breaks for their sanity. It is too much to be with a loved one in that state for too long. I was able to be with my dad for a long time, but I needed to get away some.
I hope I didn't give too much personal information. I just want to try and help. Let me know if you need anything.

Sincerely,

Sean

 

[CaptainWacky]

I think you should go and see him too.

Life is a stupid bag of nails.

 

[classichummus]

Comments
curiousa2z: Jesus Christ!!!this isnt about YOU YOU YOU

I wasn't trying to make it be about me. I was trying to let him know he isn't alone on here. There are other people who have been through similar experiences.

 

[whisky]

Thanks everyone, I appreciate it.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I didn't see anything wrong with hummus' post.

 

[Dr Dave]

Sucky situation, sorry to hear it.

Best of luck and all that.

 

[Big Dick McGee]

I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Your family will be in my prayers.

I feel that I have to agree with everyone else, you should go see your brother so you can say good-bye. This pales in comparison, but I had the opportunity to visit my Gran when she was terminal, and I kept putting it off. She literally died as I was on my way to visit her. I regretted that for years.

 

[Mirah]

Maybe his wife and kids would benefit from seeing some of his family. Are you close with them?
Hugs

 

[classichummus]

Maybe his wife and kids would benefit from seeing some of his family. Are you close with them?
Hugs

That is a really good point! I forgot about that! It was nice having my family come over. It was really comforting.

 

[whisky]

He's got about a month, they are hoping to bring him home next week so he end his life where it started.

He recognised his kids when they went to see him, but thinks all he has is a broken back, don't know if he blocked out what the doctors told him, or if he was too doped up to understand it.