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I'm telling the Gawd's Honest Truth

eloisel

eloisel

Forever Empress E
Last night I went out to dinner at Olive Garden - had lots of salad and spaghetti and meat balls. It was what I was craving.

Anyway, late in the night my body decided to abruptly and forcefully expel gas. I know this because one of my cats woke me up when he tried to stick his whole head up my ass hole. I don't know if he was attempting to sacrifice himself for the good of his furry friends or if he just thought it would be fun to go against the flow. You know how cats are - they just do weird shit at weird times. Needless to say, he isn't allowed to sleep in my room anymore.
 
eloisel said:
Last night I went out to dinner at Olive Garden - had lots of salad and spaghetti and meat balls. It was what I was craving.

Anyway, late in the night my body decided to abruptly and forcefully expel gas. I know this because one of my cats woke me up when he tried to stick his whole head up my ass hole. I don't know if he was attempting to sacrifice himself for the good of his furry friends or if he just thought it would be fun to go against the flow. You know how cats are - they just do weird shit at weird times. Needless to say, he isn't allowed to sleep in my room anymore.
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This is absolutely the FINEST thing you've ever posted.

I am laughing my ass off.
 
eloisel said:
Anyway, late in the night my body decided to abruptly and forcefully expel gas. I know this because one of my cats woke me up when he tried to stick his whole head up my ass hole. I don't know if he was attempting to sacrifice himself for the good of his furry friends or if he just thought it would be fun to go against the flow. You know how cats are - they just do weird shit at weird times. Needless to say, he isn't allowed to sleep in my room anymore.
Click to expand...
If this were me I'd have ended up with a blind cat and THAT WOULD BE PUNISHMENT ENOUGH.
 
olive garden, i use to go there all the time with my wife
its not as bad as some people say
or as good as the dolts who rave about it think
but i wont be back ever now, it would just feel to weird...
 
You know he is going to think about the cat looking for the spaghetti anytime he goes to Olive Garden now.

Olive Garden is all right. Their chicken marsala is nice. I didn't much care for being stuck in the dining room with all the big families and their loud children. There really should be a child free zone.
 
eloisel said:
Last night I went out to dinner at Olive Garden - had lots of salad and spaghetti and meat balls. It was what I was craving.

Anyway, late in the night my body decided to abruptly and forcefully expel gas. I know this because one of my cats woke me up when he tried to stick his whole head up my ass hole. I don't know if he was attempting to sacrifice himself for the good of his furry friends or if he just thought it would be fun to go against the flow. You know how cats are - they just do weird shit at weird times. Needless to say, he isn't allowed to sleep in my room anymore.
Click to expand...



That^^ is the weirdest shit I've ever seen!
ZOMG I'm fucking traumatized :cry:
 
Cats dont always steal souls by absorbing them through the mouth. Its a good idea to keep that kitty outta your room from now on.
 
Oh my god said:
olive garden, i use to go there all the time with my wife
its not as bad as some people say
or as good as the dolts who rave about it think
but i wont be back ever now, it would just feel to weird...
Click to expand...

My ex-wife was addicted to Olive Garden too...it's never been my favorite.
 
The thought of anything entering Eloisel's ass is kinda scary to me.

No offense, babe, but I'm not into "mature" women.
 
What did he call that? A "cleveland steamer"??

How romantic. Did you do that to Tis?
 
kilt-12.jpg
 
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