I'm telling the Gawd's Honest Truth

[eloisel]

Last night I went out to dinner at Olive Garden - had lots of salad and spaghetti and meat balls. It was what I was craving.

Anyway, late in the night my body decided to abruptly and forcefully expel gas. I know this because one of my cats woke me up when he tried to stick his whole head up my ass hole. I don't know if he was attempting to sacrifice himself for the good of his furry friends or if he just thought it would be fun to go against the flow. You know how cats are - they just do weird shit at weird times. Needless to say, he isn't allowed to sleep in my room anymore.

 

[Dark Pickle]

Kinda reminds me of one of Jason Lee's "Cousin Walter" stories from Mallrats...

 

[jack]

Last night I went out to dinner at Olive Garden - had lots of salad and spaghetti and meat balls. It was what I was craving.

Anyway, late in the night my body decided to abruptly and forcefully expel gas. I know this because one of my cats woke me up when he tried to stick his whole head up my ass hole. I don't know if he was attempting to sacrifice himself for the good of his furry friends or if he just thought it would be fun to go against the flow. You know how cats are - they just do weird shit at weird times. Needless to say, he isn't allowed to sleep in my room anymore.

This is absolutely the FINEST thing you've ever posted.

I am laughing my ass off.

 

[YungSunny]

Last night I went out to dinner at Olive Garden - had lots of balls

Hmm..interesting

 

[Archibald Nixon]

Anyway, late in the night my body decided to abruptly and forcefully expel gas. I know this because one of my cats woke me up when he tried to stick his whole head up my ass hole. I don't know if he was attempting to sacrifice himself for the good of his furry friends or if he just thought it would be fun to go against the flow. You know how cats are - they just do weird shit at weird times. Needless to say, he isn't allowed to sleep in my room anymore.

If this were me I'd have ended up with a blind cat and THAT WOULD BE PUNISHMENT ENOUGH.

 

[Dr Dave]

Olive Garden has good soup.

 

[Oh my god it's Robby!]

olive garden, i use to go there all the time with my wife
its not as bad as some people say
or as good as the dolts who rave about it think
but i wont be back ever now, it would just feel to weird...

 

[Dr Dave]

Did eloisel's fart ruin it for you?

 

[eloisel]

You know he is going to think about the cat looking for the spaghetti anytime he goes to Olive Garden now.

Olive Garden is all right. Their chicken marsala is nice. I didn't much care for being stuck in the dining room with all the big families and their loud children. There really should be a child free zone.

 

[SuN]

Last night I went out to dinner at Olive Garden - had lots of salad and spaghetti and meat balls. It was what I was craving.

Anyway, late in the night my body decided to abruptly and forcefully expel gas. I know this because one of my cats woke me up when he tried to stick his whole head up my ass hole. I don't know if he was attempting to sacrifice himself for the good of his furry friends or if he just thought it would be fun to go against the flow. You know how cats are - they just do weird shit at weird times. Needless to say, he isn't allowed to sleep in my room anymore.

That^^ is the weirdest shit I've ever seen!
ZOMG I'm fucking traumatized

 

[Kitty]

Cats dont always steal souls by absorbing them through the mouth. Its a good idea to keep that kitty outta your room from now on.

 

[Dark Pickle]

olive garden, i use to go there all the time with my wife
its not as bad as some people say
or as good as the dolts who rave about it think
but i wont be back ever now, it would just feel to weird...

My ex-wife was addicted to Olive Garden too...it's never been my favorite.

 

[Oh my god it's Robby!]

My ex-wife was addicted to Olive Garden too...it's never been my favorite.

would she jump up and down & clap when you agreed to going there again?
i think that was fave part of the whole experience
seriously, were there clowns at them or something i was unaware of?

 

[Conchaga]

The thought of anything entering Eloisel's ass is kinda scary to me.

No offense, babe, but I'm not into "mature" women.

 

[eloisel]

The thought of anything entering Eloisel's ass is kinda scary to me.

No offense, babe, but I'm not into "mature" women.

No offense, babe, but you shit on women's chests. Yuck.

 

[jack]

What did he call that? A "cleveland steamer"??

How romantic. Did you do that to Tis?

 

[Conchaga]

I did.

And she LOVED it.

 

[Dark Pickle]

Good for her?

 

[Conchaga]

I made her take a shower before I fucked her tits.

 

[eloisel]