I just got this bulletin on myspace (best BSG bulletin evar)
Miscellaneous Fleet Message Traffic on Galactica....
From: Brother Cavil
To: D’Anna
Re: Illegal Download Activity
Please be advised your unauthorized download activity has exposed us to legal action from The Big Guy under the Quadra-Digital Quadra-Millennium Copyright Act.
Not to mention that your unauthorized use of resurrection resources is inconsiderate. One only has so much white goo to go around, you know?
Please write up a corrective action that we can discuss at your bi-centennial performance review.
Love
Brother Cavil
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From: God
To: The Cylon Fleet
Re: The Plan
Has anyone seen my copy of The Plan?
God
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From: The Desk of President Gaius Baltar, PHD
To: Mr. Felix Gaeta
Subject: Wrong way...
Mr. Gaeta:
It's come to my attention that we've arrived at our present location facing backwards. While I'm sure there is no call to make this fact known indiscriminately, you may wish to make this correction and inform the rest of the fleet as appropriate.
It's telling that you are as navigationally dyslexic as you are an inadequate girly-man of an assassin.
-G.
PS: Are we still on for chess at Joe's this Saturday?
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From: Kara 'starbuck' Thrace
To: all the men she's slept with
RE: STD
Guys, it turns out I have Chylamydia. Sorry.
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From: Oprah's book club
To: Baltar
Re: book tour
You're on the new reading list. Do you think you could come on our show? Also, bring six along, since Oprah needs some dieting tips.
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From: Chief Tyrol
To: Viper Pilots
Re: Maintenance Rotation
Please remember that regularly scheduled maintenance on Raiders Vipers will proceed as normal. Our beloved Basestar Galactica has only so many mindless Cylon robot slaves deck hands to perform this glorious work for the benefit of the collective, the collective is all.
So please remember the mindless Cylon robot slaves workers as you schedule your heroic death to bring victory over the puny humans air patrols.
As always, death to all humans good hunting.
Chief
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FROM: Laura Roslin
TO: Airlock
RE: my next visit
I miss you so much, my love. Unfortunately, I just haven't had the chance to throw anyone out of you lately...however, I'm hoping to find a cylon on board...and then we shall meet again. Oh, how I miss you.
Laura xxxxxxxxxxx
PS. Pay no attention to the Adama rumors. He can't compare to you. I might even throw him out of you if he steps out of line.
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From: Romo Lampkin, Attorney at Law
To: Lee Adama
Re: Divorce
CC: Lt. Anastasia Dualla
Dear Mr. Adama,
The purpose of this transmission is to inform you that you are being sued for divorce by your estranged wife, Anastasia Dualla. As you were absent from your divorce proceedings, which were directly following the conclusion of the Gaius Baltar Trial, the judge has ruled that you shall henceforth pay the plaintiff the greater of $75,000 cubits per year or 20% of your income as alimony, in addition to 10% of your monthly salary as child support. (See forthcoming paternity test and ultra-sound photo) We would appreciate your presence at the next hearing to officially dissolve your marriage, provided you are not busy "pining for your dead brother's dead fiance." Your wife asks you to let her know if there will be a ten-minute window of time when that is not the case. Also, please relocate your personal items to the Pilot's rack, as the plaintiff will continue to reside in your formerly mutual quarters.
I look forward to seeing you on the other side of the aisle.
Fondly,
Romo Lampkin
Following via Fleet Mail:
Paternity Test Results
Ultra-sound Photo
Your wedding ring (sorry, couldn't help myself)
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From: Bill
To: Laura
Re: Mwa
Does daddywaddy's snookumbums miss her daddywaddy? Daddywaddy misses his widdle snookumbums. Yes he does. Does snookywooky miss her pookybooky? I hope pookywooky misses woopypoopy. Poopywoopy misses wookybiddles. Yes he does.
Bill
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From: Communications Officer
To: Admiral Adama
Re: Last Message
Sir, are you aware your last message went out for general distribution to the fleet?
Comm
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