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In this thread we shall discuss Harkley's love of toast

It was a hard sell from what I heard.
 
His house is shaped like a giant golden toaster.
 
He was once asked to choose between HOT BUTTERED TOAST and a lover, he said no way little lady no one tries to fence me into NO TOAST LAND.

She turned out to be a rabid nazi who killed small animals for fun so once again his love for toast SAVED THE DAY
 
LEOPOWEREDTOASTMAN.jpg
 
He once put toast in a toaster to make "double toast" but it caught on fire.
 
He once tried to bottle the magic of Toast and sell it in Supermarkets.

"Toastatogen" as the brand name was a mistake, and it really didn't sell. If you open any cupboard in his house now, bottles of Toastatogen fall out.

I remember the radio advert "Pop down a Toastagen every day to help you pop up" which worked fine, it was just a shame it was to the tune of The Proclaimers 500 miles.
 
He used to wear shoes made out of toast until he realised that was damaging the toast.
 
I heard Harkley likes toast so much because he hates the roof of his mouth and so he disciplines it by eating toast. Gotta show it who's the boss.
 
His Toast never lands butter side down.

He is a Zen Toastmaster
 
:)
 
Want to see something REALLY fucked up? :huh:

[youtube]KL8VToGgxm4[/youtube]
 
No because it's got nothing to do with Harkley's love of toast.
 
Harkley would Toast Starguard over an open fire for not STICKING TO THE FORMAT, but it would be an offense to Toast to he tends to just stab him.
 
Harkley has a car that runs on toast.
 
Harkley has a Flinstones car that runs on stone age toast.
 
Harkley hits people who don't like toast with his car.
 
Harkley once saw the face of Christ in a slice of toast. He ate it anyway.
 
Harkley always capitalises Toast. Whenever someone writes "toast" he sends them dead things in the post.
 
Harkley would have a house made of toast, but he considers it a waste of potential and against the essence of what toast is all about. It's all in his manifesto: The Tao of Toast.
 
Toast is in his upbringing, he is well bread.
 
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