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In this thread we shall make up exotic stories about our past!

Kerb Crawler

Kerb Crawler

Closed Fist of the Badlands
Let's see what truths are revealed.

***

I once lost a game of strip poker to my Sherpa guides at the top of Everest.
There was shrinkage.
 
I once sold breakfast burritos out of the back of my "Roach Coach" to the workers who built the St. Louis Arch in the early '60's.
 
I applied for the role of 'fluffer' for hardcore films in the 70's. After getting the job, I called in sick that day, too.
 
I was raised by a herd of wild Elephants. Who then were captured by the Circus freaks, which we toured with, and I used to dance in the center ring, just like I was one of them-and they let me. I was special. Then poachers came and shot my family for tusks and I now have a lovely piano and majhong playing set made out of Ivory. This is why I still to this day have a love for trunks and huge ears.
 
I am a Egyptian Princess reincarnated in a Duchess' body. I was killed by a jealous High Priestess who wanted my betrothed. Once I was dead she was free to marry him. But as a punishment the gods made her infertile & he killed her out of rage. :twisted:

No one knows I'm a duchess b/c I'm in the witness protection program. I saw my family murdered by aliens & their bodies were ground up & fed to the mothership. The aliens then assumed the disguise of my family.

When I told the police they placed me in a top security room with walls that were padded in order to block the aliens' tracking device that had been planted in my left eyebrow. They also gave me a nice white kevlar jacket that they said would protect me from the aliens should they manage to track me down.

I feel safe. They feed me wonderful food & give me lots of vitamins that make me feel really nice. They say that the vitiamins keep me from being detected. Thus allowing me an hour long trip outside each day.
 
When I split the first atom, my wife (at the time) called me in because she needed me to open a jar of peanut butter for the lunch she was making for me. It was crunchy peanut butter.
 
I was scalped by an angry native american for giving his family pox-laden blankets and out-of-date cans of SPAM.
 
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