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I've got another great idea-TK's first original end of the world cult - free Xenu!

Parallaxis

Parallaxis

Where's the Ezboard?
We should start our own end of the world cult. Maybe we could even make money off of it.

As far as I know, all the regular end of the world cult ideas have been beat to death. But noone has an end of the world cult based on Scientology !

I suggest we start an effort to find and free Xenu !

Xenu was the evil overlord who blew up millions of people and forced their dead souls to watch bad movies. He was alot like Pearl from Mystery Science Theater 3000. Anyway, people had enough of this and locked him inside a mountain somewhere here on Earth.

TK must start a cult dedicated to finding this mountain and freeing Xenu, thereby bringing about the end of the world !

Free Xenu !
 
^ Do not anger me or when Xenu is free I will force your soul to watch This Island Earth a thousand times over !!!
 
^Xenu. We speak not of his lazy deadbeat brother Xemu. While Xenu was out ruling a galaxy, X-emu lived in his parents basement looking up lipstick wearing rock bands for his myOUTERspace page.
 
We could start a message board. It would take a few months and each of us take some duals post away. Then someone would need to plant it on a scientology website and we could watch them go crazy and they will. Ofcourse who ever does the website better make sure the nutjobs cant find out who they are.
 
We've discovered that Xenu is imprisoned within X mountain and we're going to free him. Xenu will use his powers to blah blah blah etc.
 
This idea is fluffing my dress up.

Which mountain? Should it me something significant, or the more remote/obscure the better?
 
We should never refer to the mountian by a name, just as the place of containment. That way if a scientolowackjob comes on the board and starts quizzing one of us, we cant give a wrong answer. It would be best to be as vague as possible in regards to unknown facts. And if they get really nosey we can say "We dont discuss that with outsiders. Shoo shoo!".
 
Dual said:
True.

Could we get a hidden secret forum for the planning perhaps?
Click to expand...

Up to Para. On the cult board we can have a secret forum thats not hidden but when clicked on opens a little box that says "You are not priveledged enough to see what is written in here. Shoo shoo!" Ofcourse there would be nothing written in there and we can see if the desparate scientolowackies will try to hack into it.
 
3dea3b4a.jpg
 
Well here's the thing....

1. We don't know where the mountain is. We're currently seeking funds to start digging at serveral secret locations. The church of scientology discovered several ruins long ago of what appear to be gaint markers left to indentifiy Xenu's living tomb. The church destroyed most of these however one marker WAS brought back to California and the Church of Scientology Celebrity Center was built on top of it to keep it safe. Only the top members of the celebrity center are allowed to see it.

2. We'll need a paypal account and an honest person to split the cash between us.

3. The conversation that ACTUALLY started scientology probably sounded exactly like this thread.

4. Just who are we trying to troll ? Most hardcore scien-o-nuts aren't even allowed on the internet, the other half have hidden programs put on the computer to prevent them from accessing sites the "church" doesn't want them to see. (If a scientologist ever gave you a free website building program you're screwed) So who exactly are we trolling ?
 
Perhaps we can convert a few scienos IRL to Xenism and have them ripple out into the rest, causing mass fear and paranoia amongst the ranks as a civil war rages between the Xenist Heretics and Hubbardtologists.

Perhaps we could invade the secret scientology forums and do essentially the same thing except by hacking a few accounts.

Perhaps we could just recruit people who weren't scienos in the first place and start a massive faux-movement (EDiots and /b/tards would be great recruiting bases for this) in opposition to real scienos or something.
 
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