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JACK'S GIRLFRIEND

jack said:
SEEYOU'RENOT EVE N 11 POSTS IN PWNED
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I see the time spent performing ATM's on your dad's buddies also affected your ability to spell and properly space. Your mom probably told him "Now honey, how is our boy going to be learnt his spellins and cipherin if your friends keep plugging his pooper?" Then your dad probably smacked her around more than usual and said "Get yer ass in the kitchen and make me some cornbread, bitch". It's a sad story, people, we really need to praise Jack more. He's got years of abuse to overcome.
 
Mystery D8 said:
Jack is NOT gay. He's just confused. I bet you guys would be too if your father had repeatedly forced you to perform ATM's on his drinking buddies on poker night like Jack's dad did. You guys need to apologize for your vile accusations at once.
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"ATMs?" I'm not hep to your lingo. Does this mean that Jack's dad and his pals used Jack's face as their own night deposit box?
 
I'm sorry, I should have elaborated in order to gather the full amount of sympathy due to Jack. ATM = Ass to Mouth, more or less getting your ass rammed and then letting the rammer go splooey all over your uvula. Now, knowing this definition, shouldn't you guys be nicer to Jack? Come on you assholes, It's Xmas! (I used the term Xmas instead of Christmas for Jack's benefit, over the years, he learned to hate Jesus, too.)
 
Do you think Jack still has nightmares about it, even fifty years later? I bet he has trouble sleeping...maybe all that weed helps stop the voices.
 
Kim Nyholm said:
Do you think Jack still has nightmares about it, even fifty years later? I bet he has trouble sleeping...maybe all that weed helps stop the voices.
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You're Danny Hellman, aren't you?
 
Again, I'm not hep to the lingo you kids use. Would it be correct for me to say that Jack was "pwned" by dad and his poker buddies, (and the mailman, and the paperboy, and the phys ed teacher, and those guys in the dorm, and that hung black dude on the other side of the glory hole down at the Amoco station)?
 
ScrotusRex said:
Oh! THAT'S a lot of woman. What the fuck does she see in Jack, I wonder? Can any of you little DOPES and BASTARDS figure it out? That's all for now ok. ScrotusRex

Redneckbottleopener.jpg
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Dear god. . .

You know, I bet there are places under all that fat that haven't been washed. Ever.

Not that that really matters. . .
 
I think the key word, theRanter, in your post was "shit". The way his mom told me, quite often Jack would be up till the wee hours coughing up a vomitous slurry of jizz, shit, and preparation H while she tried to repair his torn anus with a combination of vaseline and tampons.
 
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